Question:
Hi, this is my first post and I hope you guys can give advice regarding my current scenario...
I'm a relatively young guy, frosh, 18, and I'm seeing a girl I met at U of T, second year, 21. We met at a Christian fellowship group and really haven't known each other for too long, around four months. In the span of four months since meeting and one and a half months(!) since telling her I liked her, we've gone from complete strangers to physical intimacy (deep kisses); it was all so fast! I'm really struggling with how to approach the current situation. I want a God-centered relationship but I realize now that I was so very infatuated during those four months that I didn't really know what I wanted or what I was doing. I was in the clouds and I want to come back down to earth. We've already gone so far physically (regretfully) and now I'm confused over what I'm going to do or what I want to do next. I want to spend some time just getting to know myself better but in that time, I don't want her to feel (and myself to feel for that matter) that I'm becoming more distant from her.
I don't want to be infatuated; I don't want to be the guy that goes after the girl, makes her like me, and then loses interest because I "won the game".
This is my most humble moment and I want things to work out. What can I do to make things better?
I've probably been vague in some details or even in my question. Please ask if you need clarification.
Answer:
Tell her you rushed into things, you're still interested in her, but you don't want to continue to rush into things if your relationship with her (whatever it may turn out to be) is going to be even semi-serious.
As far as what to do, practically speaking, I'm not really sure what to tell you. "Breaking up" with her might upset her. Slowing things down probably wouldn't hurt either of you. I really think you need to discuss it with her, though.
My two cents.
In His love,
Nate