Question:
I have lived at home with my dad for the last 5 years of my life. He has done nothing but dissapoint me. Right now i seriously have my bags packed, my dirtbike in the driveway, and i want to know if i should stay. My dad has treated me like crap giving me nothing but verbal and mental abuse over the years. I truly want to know if you think i should leave. If i do, cops may get involved yet thats a chance i am willing to take. Answer this quickly please. THis really sucks.
Answer:
Hey.
I don't know what your total situation is... so I really can't hand out advice.
So I just want to let you know that I am praying for you right now and will continue to do so.
Feel free to PM me.
Answer:
I'm not sure of the details, but I come from a situation where living with my Dad is very difficult. Verbal, mental, and emotional Abuse are real, and anyone who says different never lived with my Dad.
You havn't given us any real details, but I'll ask -
1 you are 15, yes? I read this in your profile.
2 do you live with any other members of your family who have it worse? (like, does he yell at them more?)
3 are you a straight arrow or do you give him reason to scream(I know this may not be a fair question, but I have to ask it).
4 are you capable of supporting yourself, or do you have somewhere you can stay until you're able to do so?
5 finaly, is your dad capable of change?
Depending on exactly how bad the situation is, this may just be another part of the maturing process for both you and him. I know when I was 15 my Dad made me cry, doubt, hate myself and other people, including him, but it wasn't until I was 16 or 17 that I really began to really hate him. The only way I've gotten over it, which is a work in process, is to know that if we fail to forgive others for what they do to us, God will no longer forgive us for what we do. The bible says this, and a surefire way to cut youself off from help from God is to hold a grudge against someone like your Dad, no matter how awful he is and how much you don't deserve it. You may be totally justified, I know I was. But it doesn't give you a right to hate him.
Living here is awful sometimes. You don't know what you'll do that makes him made. But I stay here because my younger sister and my mom are still here. Because I'm not sure If I could support myself, and I need to finish school first(high school especialy, which is something I sometimes blame him for as well). I stay because leaving would just make things worse.
Remember that you still have a few years, unless you're radicaly more mature than I was at that age, to grow older and wiser and learn a few things. Will things really be better for him and you if you just leave? What about for everyone else? I know it's hard to hear this - but unless he's physicaly abused you, you don't have grounds for other people to understand why you've left. And life is hard during our teenage years, our parents don't get our additudes, and often they may be the cause of this. But the only way to get love and forgivness back is to be selfless, forgiving and understanding. My dad is a irrational person, and at this point I don't know if he's capable of understanding or changing. Which makes it MY responsibility to sooth things over with him and be the more temperant man.
Proverbs is a great inspiration in those times. Remember these verses -
Proverbs 3
31 Envy thou not the oppressor, and choose none of his ways.
32 For the froward(disobediant) is abomination to the LORD: but his secret is with the righteous.
33 The curse of the LORD is in the house of the wicked: but he blesseth the habitation of the just.
34 Surely he scorneth the scorners: but he giveth grace unto the lowly.
35 The wise shall inherit glory: but shame shall be the promotion of fools.
Proverbs 15
1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
18 A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.
28 The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.
Take this last verse. Go to God in prayer and ask him what you can do. Seek guidance from him and try to follow after His will first. Read the scriptures because it will speak to you when you're angry and hurt. Rember, while our temporal fathers may not be what we want them to be, our Father in Heaven is eternal, and loves us unconditianaly.
I hope some of this helped, even though I don't know any details and guessed a fair bit.
Answer:
Everyone will disappoint you at sometime in your life, it can't be helped, we all make mistakes... being a parent doesn't automatically make you right all the time ( but don't tell my boys that )..
I would not recommend you leaving if you are not in danger of physical abuse and as you said it could lead to a lot more problems. As it has been said, none of us can really know why things are as they are for you. Its possible that you frustrate your dad by not doing what is expected of you ( ie.. homework, chores, respecting him and others, etc.) and he overreacts, and its also possible that your dad is just one of those people you can never please .
The best suggestion I can give is ...honor and respect your dad; do what is expected/required of you with a good attitude (and then do even more than is expected without being asked ) ; if you do something wrong admit it and say you are sorry; talk to him, tell him how you feel, he may not even be aware ... hard as that is to believe it may be that he is under a lot of stress you aren't aware of and without realizing it takes things out on you; talk to your pastor or a trusted adult and be honest ( in other words don't leave out things you do that may be part of the cause of how your dad reacts); and most of all Pray.
Answer:
I've been in your shoes many times, for reasons of which you have spoken. Leaving will do nothing but make your life more difficult, in other ways.
Having a parent who is mentally, verbally, emotionally abusive is hard. You know that and I know that. They will tear you down and kick you around on the ground with their words, which does nothing more than discourage and disappoint you, but you will always get let down in life by people. It's a part of life, the part that sucks. The one person who will never, ever, ever let you down or discourage you is the Lord Jesus Christ who loves you and understands your situation better than any of us here.
Go to God in prayer and ask him what you can do. Seek guidance from him and try to follow after His will first. Read the scriptures because it will speak to you when you're angry and hurt. Rember, while our temporal fathers may not be what we want them to be, our Father in Heaven is eternal, and loves us unconditianaly. Very well said