Question:
So yeah id like to talk about this cause its been bothering me. So I was going out with this nice girl she was catholic and could understand my jokes and sarcasm. It was just great then abit after 6 months. We were sitting on the couch watching TV when she tells me she loves me. I was quiet for abit to make sure to say the right thing. I then told her That im glad she loves me but its just not there yet for me. So she gets all upset.
So I end up going home and thinking about how I messed up. Two days pass by and she calls me on the phone. We talk for awhile then tells me she wants to break up. She said because she was moving 800 miles away and she couldnt stand it being like that. I say ok I get the point and of course im upset because we talked about how we would still date when she was gone. Well then a day goes by. I was talking to her on IM... Which she then says can I talk on with you? I say sure why not.
She then begins to tell me she cheated on me and thats why she broke up with me. I said why she said she was upset about the night I told her I didnt love her yet. So she then ended up kissing another guy those two days i was thinking. Which im very upset about. I never knew I would have ever dated someone like that. So yeah im just so out of everything right now. Im just in shock about what happened. I never knew she was someone like that. So I keep telling myself I should have never dated this girl and should just forget about her. But its very hard she was my first girlfriend and its just hard to get her off my mind now. How am I just going to move on?
On top of this she has has started cutting ive told her to stop. She says she wont do it again. I think its because shes moving and whats happening in her relationships. I just think shes lost right now. Is it my job to still care about her? I feel like I cant just leave her now. I wont be dating her. Just being there for her. She doesnt have many rea friends a couple and the rest are'nt real friends. Im just looking on how I should handle this.
Thanks for reading.
_Joe
Answer:
Why would it be your job not to care about her? Encourage her spiritually as much as you possibly can. Encourage her to find a church and to dive into her relationship with God, catholic or not.
I have been here. You can PM me if you want to go more in-depth about this.
Answer:
Hey Man, I'm feeling that too, well not the exact same situation but I was engaged before, key word was, and yeah there are a lot of hard memmories of the past when all we knew was we were going to be be married. right...
Best thing to do, try to let it go, reconize that if she cheated on you then there wasn't much there anyways (you've already hit on that point) I know it tough cuz she was your first girlfriend but you really have to trust in God that He will bring you the rigth person in His timming. There are plenty more fish in the sea and don't discount who you are, you were being the mature person in the relationship so give yourself some credit.
For sure still care for her, but you don't have to be emotionaly reponsible for her. Let her know that you do care and I'd suggest praying for her. I hope things go well for you.
Answer:
Forgive.
Help.
Answer:
Be there for her if she needs you. Help her out. Possibly suggest counseling. And PRAY!
Answer:
Originally Posted by relient nelson Be there for her if she needs you. Help her out. Possibly suggest counseling. And PRAY! Indeed. I forgot an important one sentence piece of advice.
Pray.
Answer:
give her forgiveness, and as much friendship as you can.
don't take her back. My experience is that when someone cheats on you once, they'll do it again. I have no desire to go down that road multiple times.
Answer:
Alright thanks everyone for this great advice. I will be there for her. She knows that I still care about her. I've told her whatever shes going though she can talk to me about it. I know that maybe I was in a bad relationship. But it was hard to see when I was the one in it. I will make sure to pray for her. Im leaving tomorrow for the holy land so ill make sure shes in my prayers. It just hard to get over what happened it just seems so I dont know surreal.....Like a dream a bad one and one day ill wake up from it....But I know im not going to. I keep having nightmares going over and over about what happened. I dont know how or when ill get over what happened. Guess I just need time.
But I hate feeling like this.....guess thats what they call heartbreak. But I really dont want her cutting and I think people like this have problems admiting there wrong. So ill just help her however I can. Its just so hard moving on. I know that I shouldnt date for a couple months to get over her. But does it really take that long? I cant see feeling like this for that long. Not saying im going to date anytime soon. But I just dont like feeling like this. Well I guess im just crying a river now.....So ill see what else you guys say... Ill be gone tomorrow so when I get back in 2 weeks ill make sure to check the replys. thanks for any advice so far given. Its helping me make sure I do the right thing. I know that I shouldnt get back with her. Because she will just do it again. BTW what do should I do with everything shes given me? Ive got a ton of notes/letters etc. Everytime I look at them its hardbreak. So I was thinking ill just give everything to her. thanks for helping me out guys. All the advice is great and just letting me rant off.