Question:
what is considered lust?
1. when you look at someone and think their hot?
2. When you think about what you and that other someone could do in a room together alone? (we're all supposed to be over 13 *shrugs*)
3. when you think about a member of the oppisite sex in general?
wondering as a member of the red rubber band club (see sig) when i should "pop" myself.
natedawg
Answer:
Well, instead of answering your question, I'll say this: our primary calling as Christians is to love God, not to hate sin. That is to say, focusing on "what is sin and how can I avoid it?" is a mistake. If you truly love God, you will nnaturally begin to hate sin. If you truly find pleasure in God, the pleasures of sin wil tempt you less.
I can say from experience that any willpower-based method of avoiding lust is doomed to failure. You're certain to give in sooner or later. But at the times when I am truly satisfied in God, when I am finding joy in fellowship with Him, lustful thoughts don't even tempt me. So instead of trying to sanctify yourself, learn from your failures and sins how weak you really are, and in that weakness, go to God for strength. And I can tell you from personal experience that if you go to Him in that attitude of weakness and dependence, instead of trying to fix yourself up so that you can stand before Him self-reliant and self-perfected, He will give you the grace you need, and far more besides...
Answer:
1. when you look at someone and think their hot?
2. When you think about what you and that other someone could do in a room together alone? (we're all supposed to be over 13 *shrugs*)
3. when you think about a member of the oppisite sex in general? I'd say definitely yes on number two, no on number three (depending on what you're thinking about obviously, but definitely not necessarily), and I'll let someone else answer number 1. Like blindman said though, it's not about a set of rules or how much we can get away with so much as it is about having the right mindset. If you're always acting honorably, then you shouldn't run into any problems.
Answer:
Originally Posted by natedawg 1. when you look at someone and think their hot?
God wired guys like this. It's not sinful to say, oh look, they're attractive. It's sinful to keep looking though. I would say that this step rarely occurs without the second step following.

2. When you think about what you and that other someone could do in a room together alone?
Well of course this is sinful.

Originally Posted by Blindman Well, instead of answering your question, I'll say this: our primary calling as Christians is to love God, not to sin.
So because it's our primary calling to love God, we shouldn't loathe sin? Why not? It doesn't make sense to exclude constructive behavior just because it isn't our "primary calling".

That is to say, focusing on "what is sin and how can I avoid it?" is a mistake. If you truly love God, you will naturally begin to hate sin. If you truly find pleasure in God, the pleasures of sin wil tempt you less.
Once again, I have to disagree. I don't think it's a mistake to try and clarify a certain sin with the intent to avoid it further. However, if we define and box in a certain sin with the intent of getting away with as much as we can, then that's wrong. However, I don't think that's the case here (I sure hope not).

So instead of trying to sanctify yourself, learn from your failures and sins how weak you really are, and in that weakness, go to God for strength. And I can tell you from personal experience that if you go to Him in that attitude of weakness and dependence, instead of trying to fix yourself up so that you can stand before Him self-reliant and self-perfected, He will give you the grace you need, and far more besides...
I just don't see why this point makes practical sense. Sure, it's great to trust God and rely on His Word and the Holy Spirit to give us instruction, but it's also profitable to make every effort we can to stay out of sin! It just seems like you advocate a passive, give-it-all-to-God procedure of fighting temptation. Being pure and avoiding sin takes a combination of both your active decision to stay out of what you're tempted to get into as well as maintaining a healthy relationship with God. We don't need grace to stay out of sin: we need to use our heads, pray for wisdom, and act with a desire to obey God. God's grace is there to catch us when we do slip up.
Answer:
I think analyzing too much here is fruitless, that if you have to analyze it, you have probably gone too far for your conscience. This is one of those subjectively objective issues where the answer will differ for each one of us. But if in your heart you have to question whether you are sinning or not, then that is no longer of faith. You are causing yourself to stumble. So like the weaker brother, you do not want to make yourself stumble either.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Shredcheddar I just don't see why this point makes practical sense. Sure, it's great to trust God and rely on His Word and the Holy Spirit to give us instruction, but it's also profitable to make every effort we can to stay out of sin! It just seems like you advocate a passive, give-it-all-to-God procedure of fighting temptation.
What I'm advocating is anything but passive. But I am advocating an end to all our _striving_, an end to all attempts to sanctify ourselves - an end to all phariseeism.
Beyond our lust and greed and laziness and all other sins lies the worst of all sins: our pride. Pride is such a part of who we are that we will willingly do anything - we will even give every ounce of our strength to fight the sin within us - if only we can hold on to that pride. And Satan is all too willing to let us win the battle with lust if it leads us to be defeated in the war with pride.
There was a time when I thought growth as a Christian just meant getting rid of the sin in my life: locating sin issues one at a time and stamping them out through my own willpower. And I was rather successful, at least with the sin that I allowed myself to see. But I was blindsided by pride the whole time, and God had no choice but to humble me, to bring me to recognize the pride that had been driving me all along.
All along, I was trying to be good enough for God, trying to make myself better, so that I could consider myself better than other people and so that I could pretend that I somehow _deserved_ God's love. And what was the result? I just slid further and further into sin. My strength wasn't enough.
But now, I _understand_ that my strength is insufficient and I live in a much different way. Every day I am faced with my own inadequacies and failures, and instead of denying my weakness and trying to do better, I acknowledge my weakness to God and cast myself upon Him for help. The result? I am increasingly satisfied in Him, and sins that my willpower was never able to overcome have less and less of a hold on me. All I have to _do_ is trust God to help me instead of trying to do things myself.
God's grace isn't just a safety net to catch us if we fall. What you're describing is a passive grace - God saying to us "Well, you're forgiven, now do a better job next time." But the grace I've experienced is also an _active_ grace, a grace that is so powerfully at work within us that it keeps us from falling in the first place.
Answer:
Thank you all for your advice.. i was mainly wondering if thinking someone attractive without going deeper (1) was a sin... thank you for your advice all.
Answer:
I agree completely with blindman on this one. We ourselves are powerless to defeat sin. Every small 'victory' we think we have against it is more than defeated by the corrupting attitude of pride and superiority that develops alongside this 'me vs the world' attitude.
For too long, I have thought I alone was strong enough to defeat sin, using Jesus' strength as some sort of secondary reserve power to call on in times of crisis. Needless to say, this attitude failed miserably for me and sadly continues to do so for a lot of the Christians I know. The only way out is to focus all your energy on loving Jesus and growing in knowledge of him; not 60% this and 40% on defeating sin, but ALL your energy. Meditating on his words will naturally show you the imperfections in your own life and striving to develop your faith will gradually result in a change in your mental state as well; previous temptations will not have such an effect on you because their attractions are nothing compared to your new relationship with Christ.

But to answer the original question - no natural attraction to the opposite sex is not a sin, in fact I would say it is a gift from God as much as beautiful landscapes or music are. But coveting something with your heart, ie lusting after women can only destroy a person and distance them from God.
Answer:
I'm sorry. This thread is 4 months old. Considering no posts have been made for that length of time natedawg has taken the advice and the problem has been resolved. I'm gonna close this so that no further advice can be given since it is likely not needed. If it is, then natedawg can PM me or another mod her and I'll/they'll gladly reopen it.