Question:
I'm 19, Freshman in College. I'm taking 16 hours this semester. I am working at FedEx Ground here in nashville right now and I have worked there since the beginning of school in September. My problem, this past week has just gotten really tough.
I work every night from 5-between 9 and 10 through the week. Monday through Friday night, I am busy with work. To me, it's getting very old. It's getting to the point where I'm tired and cranky all the time...all the time.
So this week I got really down. One night at work I nearly lost it mentally and emotionally it seemed. It was just getting to be overwhelming as I was there and not able to be back at school douing school work or socializing. I'll admit, the social aspect is a really crapfall when it comes to working.
Anyways, I have informed my mother and father about my wanting to quit. I really do want to quit (not before I land another job, since money is a necessity in school.
Last night at 12:45 my mom called me. I was really calm and collected, but it still irritated me as she lectured me about what she thought was good for me. I'm not naive to the fact that after school, I will have bills. But I have felt a call of God on my life to go here (Free Will Baptist Bible College - youth ministry major), and I believe if he wants me here, things will work out both now and later.
It's to the point of making me sick. Last night at work I was a basketcase. It was like as soon as I walked in, a depression kicked in.
Anyways, through FedEx, I am making some excellent pay. If I were to go anywhere else, I know I would take a paycut. I've taken out loans this semester (a killer for those of you who know)...At the same time, I know I would be able to get a job at YMCA aftercare working with kids...something I enjoy and love to do. Although it would be a pretty big paycut, I know it's something I enjoy doing.
MY mom has also irritated me, making a few comments about how she hopes I want to quit for the right reasons. While understanding her concern, what she is basically saying is that I better not be quitting because I want to hang out with my girlfriend. Which, while that would be a good thing, is not the reason I seek losing the job at all.
This is pretty much what is all going through my head. It's become a burden this week to leave school every night, go work, and then barrel back across town to school again. Wednesday night, I broke down into sobs...something very foreign to me. I don't know if anything makes sense, but advice would just amaze me right now. If there is anything else you would like to know, please feel free to ask.
Answer:
I am not sure what I would do in your situation. I don't think that you should quit your job at FedEx right now. What you should do is look for some times to cut OTHER things out. Things other than homework, and real work. Right now you are building a foundation for your life, and hanging out with friends is not part of your foundation. I realize this is pretty cruel advice, but you need to perservere. Once this semester ends, then you can spend the summer lining a better job out next fall, but for the rest of this semester, it is my belief that you should stay with FedEx.
Answer:
Well, for one I really think the decision is in your hands, so don't feel like you absolutely have to please your mom or dad.

So you work from 5 to 9 then? If you don't have classes early in the morning, why not socialize after work for at least an hour or so? If you want to both keep your job and your social life, something is going to have to suffer a time cut. I'm not sure that sleep deprivation would be the best thing for a busy college student, however, so you'll have to assess that yourself. Is the problem that you just can not find any time at all to hang out, or that you never get to be around a bunch of your friends at once?

I don't know what type of work you're doing at FedEx, and I may be naive in suggesting this (as I've never had an employer), but perhaps you could be considered for different hours, maybe from around the time your classes end to 6 or whenever.

Now all this so far has been given that you still keep your job. About the YMCA thing, though. That really sounds spectacular to me if that would fulfill your need for social interaction. I truly feel that your emotional and physical wellbeing is more important than excellent pay; I would work at something you enjoy doing. I know it can be tough to leave a bunch of money on the table to do something else... but apparently even the excellent pay isn't doing it for your situation right now. If you can't work any of the other options out, I suggest that you consider working the job that you enjoy working, whether that be at the YMCA or elsewhere.
Answer:
Anyways, through FedEx, I am making some excellent pay. If I were to go anywhere else, I know I would take a paycut. I've taken out loans this semester (a killer for those of you who know)...At the same time, I know I would be able to get a job at YMCA aftercare working with kids...something I enjoy and love to do. Although it would be a pretty big paycut, I know it's something I enjoy doing.
Well being the dadof two college age kids I could whip out som eof my classic lectures!!!! I won't honest!!
My oldest is a you th pastor and my present collegian is studying you th ministry so I have a great heart for your studies.
Some questions for you . Wikk the Y job meet you rneeded expeneses and the little mad money you need?? If so then go for it!! It is wporking with kids and getting paid for the work you feel God calling you to.
If not then Fed Ex ( I am your enemy the USPS) is definietly doing what is needed. I know giving up so much of yoru life right now is hard, but this is the time it happens. If you have the chance to meet needs financially elsewhere that won't bug youy out--do so. But remember geography is not an obstacel to joy--neither is stress and being tired (though they do make it so much harder). I hope God illumines the path that is HIs best for you
Answer:
To Andrew: If I continue to work at FedEx, that was my summer employment also. Freedom is desired.
To Shred: The pleasing the parents thing, well I've figured out that's not what my life is all about. As far as the hours, they are set hours because it is done in shifts. I guess that's why the routine is getting so old, so quick...I too believe my well being should take precedence over money. I guess I've just had this boost of faith lately where I know if God led me to FWBBC, God will see me through....
To nolidad: As a son, I know my parents are looking out for the best for me. I am making no quick decisions on quitting...or at least not just yet. I am definately trying to find another job...but at the same time, another job which could support me financially. In any case, about the only way I will be able to make enough money to completely pay for school and all the expenses coming along with it, is if I were to be making about 15k a year....FedEx management would offer that to me...what it would lack is the time in my life to have a sane thought...
You guys have all definately helped thus far, please continue to ask questions and whatnot....
Answer:
To nolidad: As a son, I know my parents are looking out for the best for me. I am making no quick decisions on quitting...or at least not just yet. I am definately trying to find another job...but at the same time, another job which could support me financially. In any case, about the only way I will be able to make enough money to completely pay for school and all the expenses coming along with it, is if I were to be making about 15k a year....FedEx management would offer that to me...what it would lack is the time in my life to have a sane thought...
Some quick questions for youy :
15 K seems like a big need fro a college student.
Do you live in your own place?
Own a car?
cell Phone?
credit card usage?
You may wish to consdider ending some of these temporarily if the answerr is yes.
I know it is asking to sdhed some personal freedoms, but your training in ministry is your highest priority and iby ditching some personal comforts (like an apt if you do)you can save considerable finances. You could find a friend or two to room with etc.
It is hard I know but this is the desert time like mZoses went through to learn from God-- He won't leave you and the trials you endure to come through the other end will only make you a wise minister fo the gospel if you do not cave in to emos or self demands.
I will pray for Gods guidance for you.
Answer:
Ryan-I really feel for you and your situation, because it resembles mine in a lot of ways. I am taking 5 classes, and have a 4 hour practicum every day, and I work each night, plus I live an hour away from all these places.
In september it was ok, but as time progressed into the 'spring' semester, things got really tiresome. I went through a slightly depressed phase like you seem to be going through, not to mention the constant crankiness. So what I did, was I requested one day off a week from work. It made the world of difference! Having that weekday to look forward to is so great.

I also, it's probably not the best thing, but I always skip the maximum amount of classes that I am allowed to per course Sometimes it's really a nice feeling to be able to blow off class, and sleep, or hang out with people, go to the gym, anything for YOU. Also, when you get home at the end of the night, relax as much as you can. I know how homework can be, but take a night off every now and then. Usually you can plan it so you aren't doing homework all the time.

A few more suggestions. Perhaps consider dropping a class and making it up as a night class in the summer. I'm not sure if this is feasable for you, but it can certaintly make things easier sometimes.

Set a short term goal to look forward to for the end of the semester. Plan a weekend away with friends, or even something like going to see a play, a concert, of a live sporting event. Anything so that you can focus on what comes after the hard times. I know that for me, I am looking forward to graduating in may, and then going away for a mini-vacation right after. It makes it easier to push through all the work if you have something to look forward to after it is over.

And, remember to spend time with God. I know it can seem so hard sometimes to sit down and read your bible, and I will admit I am not very faithful with this sometimes. But, when I do make the time to do it, I have time for everything else in my day, and I am much less stressed out.

I know how stressful all of these things can be, and the key really is to eliminate things and focus on God. Even if they are small things, such as skipping a class

Praying for you!
Answer:
Hey friend! I'm sorry to hear you're becoming overwhelmed, although I have to say....welcome to college life buddy . It certainly does get tiresome but you gotta do watcha gotta do .

I personally think you should be focusing first on school, if your school is suffering because of your job you need to do something about that. I know a girl who worked at the Y with the after school program and she loved it! You have to remember if you're in God's will he will provide and he will work things out for you.

Personal example: I have been in school for what seems like forever and this is because it became overwhelming and I thought "well maybe I can drop a class or two and make it up later." BAD IDEA! It takes you just that much longer to finish and this option is one that will come up again and again if you start that habit. I strong advise you NOT to do this. Anywho so because I've been in school long enough to have graduated already lol I chose once I got married not to work. Now the application, because I was in God's will in my personal choice (I spent much prayer with my husband on this) he has and continues to provide and get us through.

The social aspect of it things isn't as important, as getting through school. That is SO IMPORTANT. Maybe if your parents see that your school is or is in jeopardy of suffering they will understand things. When you said your mom said she hoped you were wanting it for the right reasons that reminded me of something my dad has totally said to my brother. That's just a parent thing, they never want their kids to make decisions based on relationships, those decisions usually turn our pretty bad in the end. Your mom has good reason to say this, don't get upset with them for caring about you. A lot of parents don't care a bit about anything their kids do.

Just pray about it, do what is best for your college career and that includes your health as well because if your health suffers your studies suffer. God will lead you in the right direction, just take it to him . Let us know what happens.
Answer:
To Andrew: If I continue to work at FedEx, that was my summer employment also. Freedom is desired.
No matter where you work, you are not going to have freedom. Unless you completely shirk a job this summer, which would be very.. Umm.. Irresponsible.
I maintain that you should buckle down and keep the job at FedEx. Change your attitude if need be, but rearrange your time schedule so that you get more rest.
Answer:
Well, I'm calling the YMCA this afternoon. That's where I feel a peace about things. Whether or not that's what should really happen, well, I guess we'll figure it out, but I really don't feel well about continuing at FedEx.
As far as dropping some classes, I'm not seeing that happening. I have 5 weeks of classes left and I have all A's. I drop, then I forfeit hours and add on another semester of school somewhere. As far as my grades suffering, they're not...I have a 4.0...and all my teachers like me...
My goal for the end of the semester is to get done, get home and find a job for the summer.. My trip I have planned is to North Carolina to visit my girlfriends hometown...I also have church camp in June, but that's just a reward from God.
Spiritually I am growing day in and day out. I have devotion and quiet time every morning, and my girlfriend and I are reading through the same stuff in the Bible and talking about it and also are beginning to be more active in prayer with one another.
Do you live in your own place?
Own a car?
cell Phone?
credit card usage?
I live in the dorm. I own a car and a cell phone and have no credit cards. I have to have the car, otherwise I won't have a way to work and church and will be useless while at school. My cell phone is the only way to communicate to home...it's a lifesaver. As far as paying those bills, I do not suffer....
I don't wanna disappoint my mom, but I refuse to be miserable and the "social" outcast because of work...makes sense to me at least....
Answer:
You won't be a "social outcast" if you with draw some to take better care of your body. It's called being responsible. Just because you cannot spend so much time with your friends does not mean you turn into a hermit. Working a job, and losing some of your "social" life is part of becoming a responsible adult. I am just not seeing how what you are doing is justified on the grounds you have given. I am not saying that I have to absolute right, here, but I really have to agree with your mother, and tell you that it would be more responsible if you were to stay at Fed Ex.
Answer:
The only reason my mother is against it is because she believes I want to quit soley based on the fact all I want to do is socialize. That's not it at all. I am wearing myself out, day in and day out, trying to work there. The same ole routine is just getting old and ridicualous and I don't like it at all. Sure, yes, I do want more down time to relax and whatnot, but the more important thing to me is being happy and satisfied with my work situation. I refuse to suffer for a few extra bucks a week, when I could work just as much at the Y, with children, whom I love...
Regardless, I've come to a peace with quitting, the big thing is trying to find a replacement....
Answer:
Ryan, I wouldn't quit. Realize I am working 20+ hrs a week and taking 18 units. I groan every morning, not wanting to go to work, but I know I have to. Responsibility trumps our desires most often.
One thing I have learned is that often, what I have to do, is precisely what I least want to do. 15k is not that high of bills. I am at moody, and shelled out over 10k this year, and we are "tuition free".
Its just if you graduate with debt, it will make you have to work for the bucks longer, and really hinder opportunities for ministry.