Question:
First some background. I am 18 years old and am in my first year of university. I have long curly dirty blonde hair which I grew out in high school which is pretty much admired by many girls and envied by many guys. In elementary school I was bullied to the extreme for about three years before it finally stopped. By grade 7, my self-esteem was pretty much shot and the only reason the bullying stopped was because I had started to agree with them and make fun of myself. I was turned into a shy, vastly individualistic, weak and emotionless guy. I spent the next 5 years trying to undoe that and build up my self-esteem and confidence in myself. By the end of grade 12, I was in reach of that goal and I was doing really well.
That brings me to where I am now. I think I'm going bald at 18. I'm not sure if I am or not but this has become an unhealthy obsession for me. I am constantly checking mirrors and such to an unhealthy extent. It's ironic, I think I have that disorder, I forget what it's called, where you just want to start ripping hair out. I can't stop thinking that if I lose my hair before I get married I will never be able to find a girlfriend and I'll never get a good job. I feel like I'll become like George from Seinfeld. I know that this is extremely selfish of me, I mean, my life is pretty good compared to pretty much the most of the world. I also know that God looks at the heart and not the outside experience. However, I don't know these things to the point where if I go bald, it won't matter. I don't know know these things, I'm just 'aware' of them.
But wait, just when you think things can't get any more screwed up it gets worse. This has caused a huge, and I overemphasize huge, amount of jealousy on my part. I see people who don't face this problem and I get extremely jealous.
Please, I desperatly need help.
Answer:
I think you may have a fear of losing your self esteem again. Your hair is what caused you to lose so much of it before and then it seems like you used to it to gain it back. It's possible thatyou found a few hairs in the shower drain or on your pillow and you're getting conciensceous about losing what you (may have) used to get back on your feet. I would try to not worry about it (easier said than done).
Heck if you go bald you can always go the route I'm planning on if I do. Shave it. (It'll look alot better than the golden horseshoe).
Answer:
I'm 25 and my wife and my brother have both found and pulled quite a few gray hairs. It happens. Granted, I highly doubt you're going bald at 18, but regardless, you are who God created you to be and the greatest thing in the world for you will be to accept that. Of course, that is easier said than done. I can relate to how you feel. I was made fun of quite a bit in junior high and high school, however, by the end of my first year of college, I was a much more confident person than I was at the end of my last year of high school. I'd say that most if not all of your self-esteem problems will work themselves out as you get older, mature, and really define yourself. Yours is the beginning of the end of a very odd stage in life.
So my advice to you, hang in there! Don't lose hope. You're going to find a wife. You're going to find a job. Stay the course, fight the good fight, run the race, you'll make it.
Answer:
It's hard to get your self-esteem back so I give you props for that.
Because your hair may be falling out, doesn't mean that everything else in your life will fall apart. If you meet a girl that's worth keeping, she wouldn't care less about your hair falling out. And I'm sure no boss would care about your baldness enough to not hire you, unless they're a superficial jerk but you wouldn't want to work for someone like that anyway. So if worse comes to worse, it will not be the end if you have no hair. BTW: my theatre teacher last year was like 28 and had no hair but it didn't change the way I thought about him or anything.
Answer:
My theory is that a person's weakness can be turned into a strength. Be confident in who you are and if anyone says something, laugh about it and make a joke. In fact you've done it before - and what happened next? You were considered a stronger person in character and you had gained confidence. It wasnt the hair that gave you confidence, it grew when you knew how to shrug off other people's opinions and when you developed a good opinion of yourself.
I have a slight receding hairline, not major, but I felt exactly like you. That was a few years back and my hair is in the same place as before, except maybe one or two . I think that at your age, guys tend to lose a little but it isnt a constant loss, its just the baby hair.
Who cares if you go bald anyway! when my previous girlfriend and I first hung out together as friends she commented on my hairline, I just acted cool and we had a laugh about it. I was confident and I didnt let something like that drag me down and I won her over. Albeit, she isnt with me now, but thats for other reasons...
If you show yourself to be confident with even your imperfections, thats what will make you appealing to others. Be happy with who you are man! You are God's creation.