Question:
I've been struggling with grief over a death which happened back in August. I can't get specific because I doubt this question will be taken seriously if I do, except to say that most people haven't considered it significant and the way my parents reacted and were involved in what happened has caused a rupture in that relationship which shows no sign of improvement. I know that, as far as losses go, this one is not a big one, but it feels like that anyway and all the reason in the world won't change it. How can I get over this grief when I can't talk about it because nobody I know understands why it's so painful and every moment I spend at home is a reminder of what happened?
Answer:
Hey
Don't think that because other people dont understand how you feel, you dont have the right to be sad!
Could you PM me? im happy to talk, and trust me i will be able to understand!!
My names Simon... and im an aussie!! (and i really want to travel to Canada one day)
Answer:
long time no see tracy... but i guess to some degree as time passes things will improve. maybe you do this already but write about what's on your mind, be it online or on paper. be honest...
but if you want to talk about it my email and im's are always open.
Answer:
I don't suppose it helped you deal with it faster that no one took it seriously. Sadly, I don't have any terrific advice for how to deal with someone's death... like GMartin said, time will help... and I'm also willing to listen...
Answer:
Hmm... I do believe I know your situation, and if I am right, it is not causing me to not take you seriously.
I really can't say what will help you, here. They say that time will heal, but this is not always the case. Have you forgiven your parents for their involvement?
Answer:
Originally Posted by Andrew I really can't say what will help you, here. They say that time will heal, but this is not always the case. Have you forgiven your parents for their involvement? I doubt it. I don't even know, really, what forgiveness means in a practical sense, but I'm pretty sure that I haven't done it, and I don't know how.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Tracy I doubt it. I don't even know, really, what forgiveness means in a practical sense, but I'm pretty sure that I haven't done it, and I don't know how. All I can say is that as long as you harbor any sort of bitterness or anger towards your parents, I really don't think it will get any better. Everytime you are bitter towards them, you relive what you lost. Until you do actually forgive them, you will be stuck here.
As for what a practical meaning of forgiveness is... I defer to someone wiser and more articulate than myself.
Answer:
Tracy, I love you in Christ and wanna give you non-stop virtual hugs.
Grief is an intensely personal thing - it has its stages and no one can be rushed through the stages.
I can only hope this is a wound time will heal.
I have had zillions of people recommend the book A GRIEF OBSERVED by C.S. Lewis. I couldn't get through the first few pages but only because I wasn't grieving at the time. It is autobiographical; almost a journal of his feelings after his wife died.
Awwww, Tracy, I feel though. Why must some of CGR's best get so much angst in life?! I guess God believes you to be strong enough to handle this one. Even though you probably don't believe that yourself.