Question:
A rather disturbing event occurred at my school this past week, and it involved my best friend/cousin, Bailey.
Synopsis: Bailey was called into the guidance office Wednesday morning. When she arrived, both counselors were waiting for her. They proceeded to question her intensely about her band teacher, hereafter known as Mr. R, and her relationship with said person. They questioned her because Mr. R had been accused of "sexual misconduct" with a former student, and Bailey was known to be close with Mr. R. (She's a drum major and she takes private lessons from him.) It turns out that the girl (who graduated in 2003) who accused Mr. R also said that Bailey had been at his house, alone, drinking.
Bailey is so upset, understandably. She worked hard for three years to get the band program where it is today, and now Mr. R (who still hasn't been convicted or anything) will probably leave, meaning our band program has the potential to just go back down the tubes, like it was in our freshman year. Plus, she's been accused of a crime. Finally, she liked Mr. R, understandably. They didn't have an inappropriate relationship, but they were still friends. He went to her college audition with her parents to root her on. Now, Bailey hasn't eaten much for three days. She's lost six pounds.
I don't know what to do. I want to help her, but how? What do I say? I also want everyone else to stop questioning her/me about the situation. (They know I am close with her, so when Bailey won't answer their questions, they come to me.) What would be an appropriate response to the situation (for Bailey, I mean, if she asks me for advice)?
Thanks in advance if you even read this.
Answer:
yeah as a teacher I know just how serious something like this on your reputation can get out of hand.
The best thing to do is find the truth, I bet you that this teacher didn't do anything wrong, but its already fireing up and thats bad news. For your cousin, I would suggest that you advise her to write down (document) everyting she thinks about the situation and for her to be open and honost about everything telling only those who need to know! this is key, if this info falls into the wrong hands, it won't matter if it is true or false cuz the guys rep will be ruined. this teacher's life if very much in her hands and if he is innocent he will need her to stand by him
for yourself, I recommend being supportive in every way possible and be an open listener, if other people ask you about the situation just say you have no opinion and that the truth will find itself out. I think your best bet is to be neutral. Prayer always helped too
best of luck!
Answer:
don't know what to do. I want to help her, but how? What do I say? I also want everyone else to stop questioning her/me about the situation. (They know I am close with her, so when Bailey won't answer their questions, they come to me.) What would be an appropriate response to the situation (for Bailey, I mean, if she asks me for advice)?
this is a toughie--pray, be available and that is about the best you can do.
People won't stop the questions--this is hot topic stuff in society to day, so that is a reality that has to be dealt with. seclusion and isolation would only make it worse.
Accusations are not indictments. as she is innocent --she should act that way. She should not hide the fact that she was a friend as well as her family-and boldly acknowledge nothing untoward happened with Mr. R.
She can opnly answer for his behaviotr with her and thatr is all. His guilt or onnocence with others needs to be kept for the others and not her. That is the advice I can recommend.
Answer:
Thanks for reading and replying, both of you.
I've really been doing what you said. I just listened to her, talked, and hung out. I did tell her just to make sure that she was living above reproach and know that she did nothing wrong.
Another good thing: Mr. R, who also knows Bailey's dad, called her dad to ask if he could go to church. He's an atheist/agnostic from Bailey's always said, so this is really good. I hope something comes out of it!
Answer:
Originally Posted by Kaley Thanks for reading and replying, both of you.
I've really been doing what you said. I just listened to her, talked, and hung out. I did tell her just to make sure that she was living above reproach and know that she did nothing wrong.
Another good thing: Mr. R, who also knows Bailey's dad, called her dad to ask if he could go to church. He's an atheist/agnostic from Bailey's always said, so this is really good. I hope something comes out of it!
yeah that would be awesome if through the situation he became a Christian!