Question:
Last night, my boyfriend broke up with me along the lines that we were getting to sexual, and that it was mainly his fault. I know we can't date until he can get past this and get closer to God. I'm heartbroken still and I want to find a way to help. What should I do in this situation.
Keep in mind because of how soon it was I'm pretty irrational and wanting to find a way to get him back, but still any advice I want.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Punktrash23 Last night, my boyfriend broke up with me along the lines that we were getting to sexual, and that it was mainly his fault. I know we can't date until he can get past this and get closer to God. I'm heartbroken still and I want to find a way to help. What should I do in this situation.
Keep in mind because of how soon it was I'm pretty irrational and wanting to find a way to get him back, but still any advice I want.
It sounds wise. I don't know what was going on, but to be realistic there is a long while before marriage is a viable option. As a guy who has been dating a long time, I could never have stayed sexually pure around my fiancee as long as I have without the distance.
Respect this decision. Sexual temptation has to be run from, and when it starts to take over a relationship, you can't ignore it, and you can't fight it.
I will be praying for you, but some time off sounds like a very wise move.
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give him space. and pray for him, and you, and you're relationship, be it in the future a friendship, or otherwise. i'm praying.
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Also, I used to be suicidal before we went out and during part of it, so now he's worried that I will go back to that, how can I make him believe that I won't.
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Don't act depressed or suicidal. Its good that a friend would worry about you. I doubt you'd be able to talk him into not worrying about you. When it comes to someone worrying about you, actions really do speak MUCH louder than words.
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I repeat what everyone else has said. The bible says to flee from sexual immorality, and trust me, it's not easy. It was probably a hard desicion for him to make. Try talking to him though, and see if he still wants to be friends, and also congratulate him for trying to stay pure, if you feel like it. Hope I'm somewhat helpful.
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I know he needs to, but it still hurts. It seems so far that we are going to be better friends then we were before because of all this. I was really afraid because he is also my best friend. Please keep us in your prayers though.
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You're going to have to keep your distance for a while. If you try to help him through this too closely, emotions may flare again and one thing may lead to another. Be supportive, be there for him, but from a distance.
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"We come broken and we come undone,
We come trying hard to love everyone,
But we come up short in all that we do,
Because we do, we come to You."
-Aaron Tate
I don't have much to say except that this thread reminded me of that song. Maybe it'll help you. I don't know. It's on Derek Webb's "I See Things Upside Down" album if you want to hear it.
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heya, I have to say that you guys are on the right track! Breakups are never easy, but at least you will be better friends for it. Good friendships are the key for lasting relationships, so you know this is better for both of you in the long run. Just think of this as an opportunity to use your singleness and your extra time and energy in growing closer to God. Singleness can be a blessing, as is sexual purity.
I have to say that this is a better option than the alternative - where sexual desire gets more intense. Especially, when you may not be ready for marriage for whatever reason. If you guys fall back into the relationship, you may be setting yourselves up for disaster. Then you are forced with the tough decision - keep living in sexual immorality, breakup or get married? Having sex would only make it hard for both of you, emotionally and spiritually. It would suck for that to happen, and then find out that they werent the one you are meant to be with, wouldnt it? Trust me, breaking up after sex hurts alot more and had I the choice again I would be doing what your ex-b/f is doing. I commend him for his self-control.
A bit of time and space, like Chris said will be important to disconnect and perhaps reconnect later at a better level. Also, if you were to get back together later, try and limit the time spent together by yourselves and try to get out more with friends who will support your relationship in a healthy way.