Question:
I don't know where this thread belongs, so if a moderator has a better place to put it than here, feel free to move it.
Anyway, I've recently gone through a number of sizeable struggles in my life. By recently I don't mean in the past month, but more like in the past few years.
I just had a friend (or some facimile thereof) write me a long letter telling me how much my confession of my struggles to her made her feel like I was a real freak because most people never have dealt with the type of stuff I was going through, and then she proceeded to list a number of others' impressions that I never knew, summing it up by telling me that I shouldn't be so open with others about bad stuff in my life.
This isn't the first time I've ever experienced something like this. One girl that one of my friends was a friend with told her she didn't want to get to know me because she said there was something about my face that scared her. This just wripped my heart out, i mean, I don't know what was on my face but I do know that I am a believer, she is supposedly a believer, and since when does God desire one believer to reject fellowship with another believer because of an impression of what their facial expression must mean?
When I hear all this stuff, sometimes it makes me just think there is something really hideous and awful about me that I don't even know about and can't do anything about, and it makes me feel I should just vanish.
*sigh* anyway.
What gives christians the impression that this sort of thing is how to treat other christians? I thought we were supposed to love each other, accept each other as Christ has accepted us, bear each others' burdens and pray for each others' sinful faults, not size each other up, decide some people are "freaks" and avoid them and talk about them to other christians, solidifying the sense that the "freaks" are not like us, but are somehow worse, to be feared, to be avoided and treated as freaks?
Heather
Answer:
Very sorry you experienced (and are experiencing this). You're right, Christians are supposed to show each other unconditional love, but unfortunately, the ones who do that are few and far between. There's nothing wrong with you. The problem lies in them, and their inability to accept you for you, through struggles and the good times.
Again, I am sorry that this is happening, but try to remember that there is nothing wrong with you. I dont' really know what else to tell you except that you can PM me if you need an ear (or..really...an eye) and I won't tell you that you're a freak...cause you're not.
Answer:
That's absolutely discusting. I don't have any idea what your struggles are, or what your going through, but your friends are supposed to be there for you. I've had some pretty crazy stuff go on in my lifetime, which i have shared with a VERY select few people, and they were my friends, and they supported me with what i was going through, and your friends should be doing that too, no exceptions.
That said, i have 2 suggestions, first, it seems like maybe you are sharing these intimate struggles with a lot of people (correct me if i'm wrong, that's just how the post seemed), and sometimes with difficult things it's better to share them with close friends, and get your help there, does that make sence? Sharing deeply personal information with someone you don't know very well yet might tend to scare them off. Secoundly, ANYTIME you want to talk about whatever your going through, please pm me, whatever your going through, it should not be enough for a christian to say those things to you, and i won't.
hope all this helped, if not, tell me why and i can elaborate more or something. Good luck, and if you don't pm me, i'll be checking this post to see how your doing, and i'll be praying for you.
Answer:
What gives christians the impression that this sort of thing is how to treat other christians? I thought we were supposed to love each other, accept each other as Christ has accepted us, bear each others' burdens and pray for each others' sinful faults, not size each other up, decide some people are "freaks" and avoid them and talk about them to other christians, solidifying the sense that the "freaks" are not like us, but are somehow worse, to be feared, to be avoided and treated as freaks?
Dear Heather;
Super girl gave some good insight. When it comes to real struggles and battles we havew overcome--it is best to limit who and how we share them. Alot of Christians can really misinterpret things easy. Sometimes it is even like throwing pearls before beleivng swine--they just are not yet able to handle heasvy stuff. I learned this when I sharewd my life story about howe God brought me to Himself.
Just remember we as beleivers aren't perfect--just forgiven- we walk into the faith filled withour prejudices and biases and the like. Love them up- let the Lord turn your hurts to blessings and model for them (even though you would rather kick them) the love Jesus has for evewn the most ornery beleivers (of whom I am one)
Give these folks time to learn the precious liberating truths you have already learned--when they do who knows how many of them will turn from rejecting you to deeply admiring you.
In HIm;
Ron
Answer:
hey sweetie,
i know exactly what you're going through. when i went into withdrawls from heroin, my face was never happy. i tried to hide what i was feeling and smile anyways but when you're chest is seizing up and you're gonna puke at the same time, it's very difficult. have patience. pray. tell Abba how you feel. He can heal the hurts, and sew back your ripped heart. i'm praying for you. pm if you need to.
love in Him,
jacqui
Answer:
Hey y'all..thanks for the warm fuzzies and bandaging my wounds. I think the bleedin has stopped
Love,
Heather