Question:
Hey everybody,
Long story short: I kind of like a girl. The thing is, unlike like most (all?) of the other girls I have been attracted to, there seems to be some chemistry between us. Like, I've liked a few other girls, a couple vary seriously, but it seems like this one is different. And I know people are going to ask our age, so I'll tell you now. I'm almost twenty, she just turned nineteen.
There are multiple problems. We are from different denominations: she's kind of charismatic and not calvinistic; I'm not vary charismatic and hold to much of the TULIP (some would call me a calvinist).
We have differant tastes in music: she likes old 1940's jazz and stuff like that (though she's has some appreciation for some modern stuff); I like modern stuff like rock, punk, metal, and stuff like that (as well as a bunch of other stuff).
We have differant tastes in movies.
All that being said, whenever I'm around her there seems to be this unexplainable connection between us. Like, I've told myself for about six or more months that I can't like her, but the connection is still there. We just...click. At least I think we do. It appears to be more then just one way.
Anyways, my question is this. Could a more-then-just-friends relationship like this work? I mean, I've tried denying my feelings, but they're not going away. I can suppress them, but they're not going away.
I know that the differences would have to be talked over. I know it wouldn't be easy. But could it work?
Thanks for your input,
John K.
Answer:
Different tastes do not have to ruin relationships. But they can. I guess it depends on how important those things are to each of you. Do you absolutely have to listen to rock/punk/metal or you will die? (ok, maybe not die, but be unhappy or not yourself) If it's important to you but she can't stand that kind of music, then it's probably not smart to seriously date her. However, if you can both actually enjoy listening each other's music, then there's no problem. Same with movies and all the other stuff. Do you see what I'm trying to get at? I don't think it's possible to say whether it would work or not without knowing how important those things (music, movies, theological beliefs, worship styles, etc.) are to each of you. And that's something you won't know unless the two of you talk about it.
Answer:
I married someone with different tastes. He likes different music, different movies... he came from a more liberal church than I did... We agree to compromise. (other than I pretty well refuse to ever watch Wayne's World. He can watch that while I'm at work. )
Answer:
I don't think musicial and movie tastes have to keep you from having a relationship, talk it out with her. The belief thing is a little harder, again, talk to her about it.
Answer:
If God wants you two to be together, then it won't matter how different you are. I personally don't think that being different from someone is a bad thing. If you're to much the same then you might just end up driving each other crazy.