Question:
I have the most unfair problem in my relationship with a very close person. We like each other very, very much, yet we cannot be together because I am not "the right Christian". It is very complicated, but let me begin here. Growing up, I was not giving the opportunity to go to church every sunday or be involved in church activities, therefore, I cannot be considered a real Christian. Then about 5 months ago, I met the most wonderful girl I have ever met in my life. She is gorgeous, smart, funny, nice, I can keep going forever. We started to hang out about once or twice a week, then that turned to 3-4 times, then 5-6 times. I liked everything about her as did she with me. I started to go to church with her every Sunday not only to impress her, but for my own good. And I am an all around good person, a good athlete, I don't cuss, drink, smoke, I am funny, nice. But recently, she told me that her parents said that we cannot be together since I am not Christian. It was just devastating not only for me but her also. We both wish we can be together. I just need some advice, or someone who is in the same situation who can talk to me. I like her soo much, and I don't want to give up on it.
I'd appreciate anyone's input on my problem.
Thankyou,
Ben
Answer:
There are several things to take in mind...
Why do you want to date her? Do you think you're ready, where will the relationship end up? About a week ago, I would have probably said go for it if you think you are ready by maturity.. but do to a break-up, it made me realize that I'm not ready for dating, I'm 15, and now I think I need to spend more time in my life realizing who I am, and how God wants to use me, instead of trying to figure out someone else.
Are you Christian? Do you have a desire to live your whole life for God, have you accepted Jesus into your life, to let his will be done on your life? And why do you want to be a christian? For God, or for the girl? or for being a good person? Do you truely want to be a christian, for glorifying God?
You may want to confront her parents and ask exactly why they don't think you're a christian, they may have something mistaken, or notice something in you that you don't.
Answer:
being a Christian is not about being a nice guy. It sounds as if you are a nice guy. Going to church does not even make a difference here.
Christians believe it is a sin to marry (or date) a non-Christian. Now you could be the nicest guy ever, but if you are not a believer in Christ, trusting him only for the forgiveness of your sins, then they are right.
Answer:
Originally Posted by setterbo I have the most unfair problem in my relationship with a very close person. We like each other very, very much, yet we cannot be together because I am not "the right Christian". It is very complicated, but let me begin here. Growing up, I was not giving the opportunity to go to church every sunday or be involved in church activities, therefore, I cannot be considered a real Christian. Then about 5 months ago, I met the most wonderful girl I have ever met in my life. She is gorgeous, smart, funny, nice, I can keep going forever. We started to hang out about once or twice a week, then that turned to 3-4 times, then 5-6 times. I liked everything about her as did she with me. I started to go to church with her every Sunday not only to impress her, but for my own good. And I am an all around good person, a good athlete, I don't cuss, drink, smoke, I am funny, nice. But recently, she told me that her parents said that we cannot be together since I am not Christian. It was just devastating not only for me but her also. We both wish we can be together. I just need some advice, or someone who is in the same situation who can talk to me. I like her soo much, and I don't want to give up on it.
I'd appreciate anyone's input on my problem.
Thankyou,
Ben
well ben youre helpin me so ill help you hey do you want to be my buddy in the fourms??
Now to helping you
r u a christian?
do u believe in god as youre personal savoir if you want help you know how to contact me on the fourms.
Keep on keeping on
Another Bro,
John Beck
Answer:
Inferring that you claim to be a Christian, I ask you this: on what grounds do you claim to be a Christian? If it is on anything other then faith in Jesus Christ as you Savior and Lord then you are not a Christian and her parents are right for not allowing you to date. A Christian dating a non-Christian is a sin against Almighty God. If you are a true believer then her parents are making a mistake and you should sit down with them and explain to them your basis for claiming to be a Christian.
In any event, if you are not a true believer and would like to talk to someone, I would happy to do such, please do not hesitate to PM me.
Answer:
ok there's something confusing about your openning post there. At first you reffered to yourself as not "the right christian" due to the fact of not going to church and such as a kid. Then later on you said you weren't a Christian, or that that is how the girl's parents reffered to you.
It would be greatly helpful if you could clarify which it is.
If it's the first, then that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard for her parents' reasoning. Your upbringing does not place you on a scale for Christiannity. You either are Christian or you aren't there's no inbetween, there's no class system between us. This is a classic case of "All people are created equal but some are more equal than others" nonsense. However, as unjust as it may seem you do need to respect the wishes of her parents.
If it's the second, then that's the wisest thing her parents could have done. It is a sin to be romantically involved with a non Christian. "Missionary dating" is just a bad idea. You (aimed at no one in particular) may think you're bringing them closer to God but they're actually pulling you away. (there is of course the odd exception to the rule but not very often).
Answer:
I understand why her parents had to do that, but I can't just give up on something that special. I mean, I don't want to think that what we had was for nothing. No I can not be classified as a Christian and I understand why we can't be together, but it can't just end like that. We still like each other a lot and I'm not going to give up on it. I want to be saved for my own good, just whenever I feel that God is ready for me. I am not gonna get saved just to be with her.
I just need to know if there is still hope.
Add me if you want to your buddy list if you want to talk or give advice.
Thanks,
Ben
Answer:
God is ready for you now. 2 Corinthians 6 tells us that "now is the day of salvation." You're asking for hope but rejecting the only true hope. Even if you get her and have a great life with her, you have no hope without God. You have sinned against God (Romans 3:23 - For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God) and are therefore worthy of Hell (Romans 6:23 - For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. John 3:36 - He who believes in the Son has everlasting life; and he who does not believe the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him.). You're only hope for skipping Hell and entering Heaven is through Jesus (John 5:24 - Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life.) Please do not reject God's message of true hope.
Acts 16:31 says to "believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved." As Jesus cried when He died on the cross for you, cry to God, "into Your hands I commit my spirit." Trust God and you will find the only hope that lasts.
If you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask.