Question:
FYI, I'm a regular on the forums.
I first hurt myself six months ago by snapping my hands with a rubber band. It hurt and it bruised my hands and it, strangely, helped me feel better and I liked the way the marks looked. That only happened about three times before I stopped. Then a little over a week ago I cut myself, but not severely. Also, I smashed my leg with the handle of a knife and bruised myself. The bruising was probably worse than the cuts. Also, I snapped myself with a rubber band. A couple days went by without me doing anything, and then I snapped myself with a rubber band again. A few more days went by. I snapped myself a couple hundred times with a rubber band last night. I also cut my leg. A couple dozen cuts, but not severe ones. And I smashed my leg again. A couple of my friends know about this.
I don't want to stop. I know what I did is wrong, but I don't care. I'm hurting my friends when I hurt myself, but I have trouble caring. I've known people involved in self-injury. I have a close friend who struggled with it for a long time. I know people say that you don't want to get involved in self-injury because you'll become addicted and hurt yourself worse and worse, but I don't care if that happens to me. In some perverse way, I admit I want it.
I'm asking for advice, but I don't plan to take it.
Answer:
If you don't plan on taking advice, then why ask for it?
Answer:
Originally Posted by ChrisHarbison If you don't plan on taking advice, then why ask for it?
*shrug* Good question. Maybe I just want to know what to do. Maybe I do plan to take it. I don't know.
Answer:
it does feel good when you do things like that. I myself struggle all the time with wanting to cut myself, i was a cutter at one time. Just because you think something feels good it doesn't mean that it is right. ask yourself some questions, why do you cut yourself? are you angry when you do it? if you are cutting because you feel that there is nothing else that you can do, then you need to get some help. Don't hurt your friends by hurting yourself. Talk to someone. Even though you say that you don't feel anything, there is probably something in there that feels something. but that is all the advise that i am going to give, if you don't plan on taking it.
Answer:
Let me rephrase, then.
I don't want to take advice I might be given because I don't want to stop hurting myself. One of the things I'm asking is how to want to stop.
Answer:
do you REALLY know what kind of life you are getting into?? do you know what the life of a cutter is like?? You have started to do this... and right now you are liking it... and yea, there will always be part of you that will like it.. but another part which will be deathly frightend by what you are going to get into.

If you really want to destroy your life like this.. that is your choice. but before you do it, you need to know EXACTLY what you are getting into for your life. You need to know that your life is going to be hell. If you want to become a cutter, you need to know that cutting wont be just something you do, it will become your LIFE. You will become consumed with it, and your life will revolve around cutting.

I hope you don't like short's and short sleeved shirts.

How old are you? Are you still living at home? If you are, that makes things alot harder, you will have to wash your own laundry eventually, to keep your family from finding out.

Inotherwords it's going to be hell.

Do you know anything about taking care of wounds?

here, try this link, it should have some good advice on how to clean wounds and other things of that nature. They have a list of things to help reduce scars, a first aid list, and a list of distractions.

http://www.recoveryourlife.com/Advic...s/default.aspx
Answer:
You asked what you can do to get yourself to WANT to stop. here are a few thoughts

1. see what I said above, perhaps knowing what you are getting into will help you desire to stop
2. If you are a christian, remind yourself that God does not want you to harm yourself, your body is not your own.
3. you mentioned having a friend who struggled heavily with self abuse.. what would that friend say if they know you were doing this?? would that friend listen to you if you tried to stop them next time THEY wanted to her themselves? do you CARE that your friend is hurting self? if you care about this friend of yours, you darn golly had better make yourself stop. you think this is only going to effect you? that is a lie from hell, it WILL effect your frinds
4. for the sake of your friends, it will hurt them when you hurt yourself, so for their sake you should stop
5. finding out why you want to be doing this, may help in giving you the desire to stop
6. have your friends pray for you, ask God for the desire to stop

I hope some of this helps. This kind of thing is horrible. I've seen people go through it. I never cut, but what I did to controled my life, even now it's hard breaking free, and it is only by the power of God that it's been possible. What I went through was hell enough, and I know that cutting is worse. You don't want to have to go through this life. Believe me, stop now. before you find you are out of control. It wont take long before this will start controling you. Find help now, before this happens.

if you need someone to talk to or anything, you can talk to me.

Infact, if you want to stay annonamous, you can set up a free yahoo e-mail account, and e-mail me from there. I did that a few times myself. My e-mail address is

beforemyway@gmail.com

I'm willing to just listen, give advice, or whatever it is that you need.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Anonymouser Let me rephrase, then.
I don't want to take advice I might be given because I don't want to stop hurting myself. One of the things I'm asking is how to want to stop. Why don't you give us some current reasons why you don't want to stop, and see if we can't flesh through those. After that, maybe that will lead to some reasons for wanting to stop. If we can kill the root, the weed will die by itself.
Answer:
Good idea, Chris. And Anonymouser, I think part of you already does want to stop. You have a sense of morality (you said you knew it was wrong), and that alone is already giving you a reason to stop.

Let me ask you this. Are you happy with yourself? You say that you enjoy cutting, but you sound troubled in the midst of it. If you truly had no problem with your self-injury, you wouldn't be here. Take that to heart. I realize that cutting is a way to escape your troubles, but it is only making your troubles worse. This is a question of how badly do you want to be free of it. If you truly, deeply desire that, I think that should be enough to at least try and let go of your habit. First, though, you must realize that you're only making your situation worse. So I encourage you to not let yourself be convinced that you don't want to stop.
Answer:
I was in your shoes, except I would cut myself horribly. Deeply, lots of times...I'm not going to go into detail cuz frankly it's gross, but I did it because I was to the point of desperation. My friends who knew would beg me to stop, but I didn't want to. I wanted to hear their advice but refused to take it because I thought that hurting myself like that was the only way for me to feel safe, to feel sane, to feel in control and just to feel. Gosh how I wanted to just relieve the overwhelming stress that I felt, but what I wasn't able to grasp in my mind was that the overwhelming part of the stress was brought on by what I was doing TO myself.
Nobody can MAKE you stop hurting yourself. You have to want to take that step and you have to take that step. Not because someone else tells you to but because God tells you to and because you are finally ready to stop punishing yourself and really listen to what the people you've confided in have to say. Until you're at that point, you'll never really take the advice to heart and you'll never really get over it.
I've been recovering from this for about 6 months now and have slipped up 4 or 5 times, but I'm ready to start doing what I can to deal with things in a healthier manner. I'm praying for you and please don't hesitate to PM or IM me if you ever want to talk about this. I'm not here to judge you (nor are the other people on here), I just want to make sure you know that although I don't know you, I do love you as Christ wants me to. Hang in there!