Question:
my friend thinks she's a slut and fat coz her peers discourage her and say them.
and now, she thinks she's fat and ugly.
but she's really not, she's really skinny and beautiful.
( 90% of the peers all are jealous and envious of her, and the guys all like her )
how do i tell her tat she is not wat thy say they are?
Answer:
Originally Posted by ck_psy my friend thinks she's a slut and fat coz her peers discourage her and say them.
and now, she thinks she's fat and ugly.
but she's really not, she's really skinny and beautiful.
( 90% of the peers all are jealous and envious of her, and the guys all like her )
how do i tell her tat she is not wat thy say they are? Hmm...continue to be encouraging, but this is entirely her problem.
I'm pretty sure nothing you say will change her mind. She needs to work it out. Go with her to a psychologist/psychiatrist. Pray for her.
Girls might be able to answer better than I...
~Sean
Answer:
Unfortunately, trying to convince her that she really isn't fat and ugly will do nothing but cause her to obsess even more about her appearance, and will do nothing but make matters worse.
I think the best thing you can do is just to love her and treat her in ways that will build up her self esteem instead of tearing her down. Knowing that she's acceptable to you as a friend will allow her to care less whether others accept her.
Better yet, knowing that God loves her and delights in her (Zeph 3:17) will give her the confidence to stop worrying about her appearance. The more we fear God, the less we fear human beings.
And pray for her, of course. Any girl who is attractive and has low self esteem is in a rather dangerous position...
Answer:
psychiartist?
she's 13 and im 13.
also, she says she's christian, but i dont think that, cause whn i ask her to come to a church, she says' she's busy, and when i ask her to come to a christian meeting every week during lunch time ( which is basically a church at school ),
she says " at lunchtime?? waat? "
so i dont know wat to do now.
Answer:
Originally Posted by ck_psy psychiartist?
she's 13 and im 13.
also, she says she's christian, but i dont think that, cause whn i ask her to come to a church, she says' she's busy, and when i ask her to come to a christian meeting every week during lunch time ( which is basically a church at school ),
she says " at lunchtime?? waat? "
so i dont know wat to do now. Ok. Please, first off, you don't know her heart so don't speculate on it. It's entirely between her and God.
Like Blindman said, trying to convince her otherwise is going to only make her more self-concious and make her feel worse. Believe it or not that's how it works more often than not. Instead of telling her contrary, tell her God doesn't care how she looks He loves her all the same. And try taking her to talk to your pastor/minister/priest/whatever you have.
Answer:
ok... this is coming from a girl.
girls and women will always obsess about their looks... when a girl gains 1 pound, it feels like 100 lbs... when a girl gets a zit, it feels like her face is riddled with it... etc. etc.
it's especially hard when other ppl criticizes her.
so what you can do.. even though at first it seems like it's not even helping, is to keep on complimenting her and not just her looks but also her character... read to her Psalm 139
Answer:
she's 13 and im 13. You're both still growing, and you know for a fact, that things will change. (remember the story about the ugly duckling?)
also, she says she's christian, but i dont think that Little brother/sister,how much scripture do you know? I ask this, so maybe you, can ask her, what she knows? because, by not seeking out some help, through the church or parents, you might have more of a work to do, than you are able?
Or you could skip the spiritual work part (for now), and just be a friend, and example that she can see and relate to? Try it for awhile.