Question:
What does it mean when a girlfriend (or ex g/f) thinks that they need to break up with you because you are not spiritually right for each other? What is it in the relationship that makes you right? My ex and I had a really good God focused relationship at the beginning of the relationship right up until I was sick. I then had depression and I lost alot of faith in God. Over a year we went out without really being able to connect on a spiritual level anymore. In that time we shared things physically. It grated against our souls.
I tried to connect on that level, but my heart wasnt in it back then.
I am now seeking help in my probs, and looking to God again for my hope. aBut it just saddens me that this girl never wanted to work at sharing a spiritual relationship with me in the future, when I am on top of things. Is that sort of relationship something that just happens? Or over time do you keep having to work at it? I think the hurts in our relationship stop us from sharing on that level now. Does that sound permanent? Reasonable? Hopeless?
I know I have to move on, but it seems like you have to be willing to share those things for anything to happen in the first place. I dont know.
Answer:
Originally Posted by JWillett What does it mean when a girlfriend (or ex g/f) thinks that they need to break up with you because you are not spiritually right for each other? What is it in the relationship that makes you right? My ex and I had a really good God focused relationship at the beginning of the relationship right up until I was sick. I then had depression and I lost alot of faith in God. Over a year we went out without really being able to connect on a spiritual level anymore. In that time we shared things physically. It grated against our souls. I think you pretty much answered your own question there. If your struggling was causing her to struggle with her faith then I think breaking it off was the best course of action.
I tried to connect on that level, but my heart wasnt in it back then.
I am now seeking help in my probs, and looking to God again for my hope. aBut it just saddens me that this girl never wanted to work at sharing a spiritual relationship with me in the future, when I am on top of things. Is that sort of relationship something that just happens? Or over time do you keep having to work at it? I think the hurts in our relationship stop us from sharing on that level now. Does that sound permanent? Reasonable? Hopeless? Well, if by sharing things physically (previous paragraph) you meant sex then if you two weren't ready for marriage breaking it off was also the best course of action. We're told to flee sexual immorality. There are two ways to do that, get out of the relationship or get married. In either circumstance you're out of the immoral relationship. I'm not entirely clear on "that sort of relationship". Do you mean one that breaks down to the level of not wanting to work on it? Yes. Sadly, a lot of relationships end that way. To keep relationships going it takes a lot of work. To think otherwise would be folly.
I know I have to move on, but it seems like you have to be willing to share those things for anything to happen in the first place. I dont know. I apologize but I'm again at a loss for what it is you are refferring to here. (I'm having an off day or something ^_^) Who do you mean to share those feelings with? Just in general or with a specific person. If you mean specifically with your ex-GF and she doesn't want to share there's very little you can really do. Sorry.
Answer:
Thanks Chris for your opinion. I can see that breaking it off was a good thing! Really good! I am happy about all that. It has allowed both of us to discover the love of God more and to rely on Him again. The relationship had become destructive. I dont want to go back out with her right now either, it would only hinder us. I want to take a good half year at least to get myself together, get right with God and be happy without needing anything else.
I am still in love with her though, and she is with me. We spent some time yesterday in prayer to bless each other's future and to move closer to God seperately. But at the same time it was confusing when we showed each other our love towards each other e.g. hugs and kisses.
This is not going to happen again in the future (I will set my boundaries) and she has made it quite clear that I am not the one for her spiritually. She said there is very little chance in the future for us.
I suppose it is just hard to understand why? Why, when you love someone, and they love you, and you know that if you worked at the relationship it could work really well. Why would she want to close the door to that in the future? I mean, who knows what could happen? We may not be together, but we may well be together. Who knows? Only God. I know that she is a great person, that we share the same values & beliefs and that we love each other. I want to work at getting healing for things we did (i.e. you know what) and to seek God together. We had a good connection before all of that. Why? Why close the door? Why move on? Why not sort out the problems like adults?
I see it as an opportunity down the track to put God first in our lives together, and to get life experience for married life when you cant just walk away. I dont want to push her this way, I am going to respect her wishes, but these questions keep popping up in my head
Answer:
Originally Posted by JWillett I suppose it is just hard to understand why? Why, when you love someone, and they love you, and you know that if you worked at the relationship it could work really well. Why would she want to close the door to that in the future? I mean, who knows what could happen? We may not be together, but we may well be together. Who knows? Only God. I know that she is a great person, that we share the same values & beliefs and that we love each other. I want to work at getting healing for things we did (i.e. you know what) and to seek God together. We had a good connection before all of that. Why? Why close the door? Why move on? Why not sort out the problems like adults? I think that with the prayer for each other and everything that you did sort things out like adults. No childish namecalling or shouting or sending friends back and forth as messengers. Plus have you considered the possibility that she loves you so much that she'd rather not get involved with you again than risk falling into sin and sliding away from God all over again? Just a little bit of meat to chew on there.