Question:
So, the other night I went to a secular dance. By this I mean that it wasn't put on by Christians (I've been to Christian weddings where I enjoyed the dances). Anyways, it seems like these things are completely pointless unless you start grinding. First question, is there something wrong with grinding? I personally think there is and I was a little shocked when I saw people who called themselves followers of God, basically grinding and looking like they were having sex right there on the dance floor. Now, I didn't do that sort of stuff, but I was bored out of my mind as I listened to 3 hours of dance music which all seemed like the exact same song to me and all of which had to do with sex. It seemed like I was dancing to the the same thing for three hours. Anyone else experience this? Anyone else been called a prude for not giving in to the whole drinking and sex thing? If so, what do you say to that?
Answer:
Ive been called a prude for not swinging...
Ive been called about everything, and yes I have been to places like that, however my little yellow shirt that said security got me out of dancing... (I was hired for that for some quick cash)
what do I say to that? You want my honest answer... it depends. If it is really a good opportunity I'll go into the why's that I don't. If they just want to insult, and call me a wuss, I fire back that they are weak, because I am not a slave to lusts. It depends on if I am dealing with a mocker or a curious person.
One of my coworkers this summer gave me crap about that, but by the end of summer I had earned his respect for living it.
But you have to live it if you claim the moral high ground. That means no roving eyes at all. People watch you.
DOn't do stuff like that. I think our culture has devalued sex by cheapening... Honestly, I think by abstaining now, we honestly will get more out of marriage later by enjoying the preciousness of sex.
I think we need to put a more expensive, special view of it as a gift for husband and wife to enjoy. As it is, you are expected to have had it multiple times by my age, with multile partners, and probably to have experimented with both genders. Thats the feel I have gotten from my last 3 jobs. When harrassed I am frank about my sexuality, why I am waiting, in practical, not always Christian reasons. But why monogomy and waiting will give both of us a better sex life in marriage. A case can be made their fairly easy playing off of regrets and suppressed guilt that is still there.
So in turn, I guess you could say I give my reasons based on faith, and practicality. So far it has only resulted in respect, and curiosity. Which is not a bad combo. People sometimes will ask you for the gospel based solely on this issue if you stand strong when attacked here. In fact the last 5 times I have shared the gospel this year started out with harrassment over sex.
strike a blow with your lifestyle and testimony.
Answer:
Let's not try to demonize the term secular. Many wrong things go on w/ things that are 'secular' but I've seen equally as bad things happen at events sponsored by christians or churches. Yes, as going to public school many (basically all) dances turned into who could do the closest thing to sex with clothes on. However, that's not always true about 'secular' dances, nor is that the way you have to act if you do go to one. I personally don't get the whole 'grinding' thing (course I hate dancing anyways) and I doubt God looks upon it too highly. I don't live in an environment like CA like Bill, so of course I've never experienced being called a prude for not swinging, but to some degree I think all of us face that. That's just one of those times where you have to take the high road and represent what living a christian life is all about.
Answer:
Originally Posted by SamR Let's not try to demonize the term secular. Many wrong things go on w/ things that are 'secular' but I've seen equally as bad things happen at events sponsored by christians or churches. Yes, as going to public school many (basically all) dances turned into who could do the closest thing to sex with clothes on. However, that's not always true about 'secular' dances, nor is that the way you have to act if you do go to one. I personally don't get the whole 'grinding' thing (course I hate dancing anyways) and I doubt God looks upon it too highly. I don't live in an environment like CA like Bill, so of course I've never experienced being called a prude for not swinging, but to some degree I think all of us face that. That's just one of those times where you have to take the high road and represent what living a christian life is all about.
that was at a public college by the way, and a fairly unique situation. A girl invited me to a swingers party in the weightroom. I was in really good shape then, but it was odd. It isn't the norm.
Answer:
Let's not try to demonize the term secular. Many wrong things go on w/ things that are 'secular' but I've seen equally as bad things happen at events sponsored by christians or churches. Yes, as going to public school many (basically all) dances turned into who could do the closest thing to sex with clothes on. However, that's not always true about 'secular' dances, nor is that the way you have to act if you do go to one.
It's just that I have only been to secular and Christian dances and there is a huge difference. All the secular dances have been about sex with clothes on and all the Christian dances have just been about having some good clean fun. I see your point though.
Answer:
Originally Posted by BillSPrestonEsq that was at a public college by the way, and a fairly unique situation. A girl invited me to a swingers party in the weightroom. I was in really good shape then, but it was odd. It isn't the norm.
What college? I just noticed you are in CA so I figured anything can (and does) happen
Answer:
Just because something is a "Christian" dance does not mean there won't be "grinding."
My advice is to stay away from dancing unless it's really dancing. End of story. If they call you a prude, shrug it off. Ignore the comment. Go somewhere where you can really dance.
I've been to places where there was "grinding" going on. I've been to places where there has been "moshing" going on. Neither one is dancing in the least. I have also been to events where there was really dancing, and I participated in those events- vintage dancing (waltzing, etc.), and swing dances. Try learning one of those two, and then you'll be in an environment where the dancing will be appropriate, impressive for the audience, fun, and an excellent workout.
Answer:
I've never been to a dance. I don't know what 'grinding' is.
BUT
I have been called a prude. I just laugh and tell them, "Yeah, you're right. I am." and walk off.
Answer:
Originally Posted by OneHope So, the other night I went to a secular dance. By this I mean that it wasn't put on by Christians (I've been to Christian weddings where I enjoyed the dances). Anyways, it seems like these things are completely pointless unless you start grinding. First question, is there something wrong with grinding? My opinion? yes. Why? because all it's really good for is invoking sinful, lustful thoughts in others. I personally think there is and I was a little shocked when I saw people who called themselves followers of God, basically grinding and looking like they were having sex right there on the dance floor. Careful, it's not for you to judge whether someone else is Christian or not. Only God knows their hearts. Now, I didn't do that sort of stuff, but I was bored out of my mind as I listened to 3 hours of dance music which all seemed like the exact same song to me and all of which had to do with sex. I'd feel the same way too. ^_^ It seemed like I was dancing to the the same thing for three hours. Anyone else experience this? Anyone else been called a prude for not giving in to the whole drinking and sex thing? If so, what do you say to that? I've been called a prude but not for dancing. (I don't dance at all. just don't like it). It was mostly for not drinking in high school and other teen pressures. (some long stories there)
Answer:
Originally Posted by NazisInhale I've never been to a dance. I don't know what 'grinding' is.
Grinding is dancing where you are extremely close to your partner.
Originally Posted by Chris Careful, it's not for you to judge whether someone else is Christian or not. Only God knows their hearts.
Yeah, I know, I'm not judging whether or not they are Christian though. What I'm saying is simply that I saw people who called themselves Christian (they told me that they were Christian), grinding on the dance floor and it shocked me a little. I'm not saying that they were bad Christians; I was just a little taken aback.
Originally Posted by H.M. Murdock I have also been to events where there was really dancing, and I participated in those events- vintage dancing (waltzing, etc.), and swing dances. Try learning one of those two, and then you'll be in an environment where the dancing will be appropriate, impressive for the audience, fun, and an excellent workout.
I enjoyed the two dances that I went to that were for the weddings of some people I knew. They were our youth leaders and we went as a youth group to their wedding dance. It was all about having some good, clean fun.
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i just really dont like dancing... it makes u tired... i would much prefer to be playing sport... maybe we should ban all dancing?!?! then ther would be no problems with 'grinding' (never heard that before...)
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Originally Posted by OneHope Grinding is dancing where you are extremely close to your partner. You can dance quite closely without grinding. Grinding's got a lot of hip movements against the other person's. And it looks like you're going to wear out the other person's body. (like sandpaper on wood)
Yeah, I know, I'm not judging whether or not they are Christian though. What I'm saying is simply that I saw people who called themselves Christian (they told me that they were Christian), grinding on the dance floor and it shocked me a little. I'm not saying that they were bad Christians; I was just a little taken aback. That's understandable.
Answer:
traditionally, i've found i have better things to do with my time than attend dances. i went to one recently, to see if things had changed, but i still sat and stared at the clock wanting it to be over so we could go to denny's late and have some real fun.