Question:
My dad complains that I don't spend enough time with the family.
His idea of spending time together is sitting in the den and watching the latest reality series.
There really is hardly *any* other thing that him, my step-mom, and my sisters sit down to do as a family.
He knows how I think, but I know he's agitated about it.
Case
Answer:
I don't see how it would put you out to sit and watch a TV show with them. I mean, even if you hate the show, you can at least TRY to keep him satisfied.
Answer:
I agree with Andrew. It's not going to kill you to sit for an hour. In high school and college if I wanted to spend time with friends on thursday I had to watch Survivor. I hated it but I got to spend time with my friends so it was redeemed.
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I get what you're saying. Watching a t.v. program isn't exactly quality time. Have you tried suggesting other family activities? Going to the park, have a picnic, play a game (sport, board, mutli-player video), having dinner etc.?
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I don't want to make your issue seem small but please take a look at some of the issues in this thread and then take a look at your own. There are so many teens that would love to have their parents WANT to spend time with them and give them more time. My husband and I are ministers to teens who have zero time with their parents because they have deadbeat fathers, don't know who their fathers are, or their mothers threw them out because they are trying to get closer to God. What I'm saying is BE THANKFUL that you have parents who want to spend time with you and love you enough to make it an issue.

If you don't like sitting in front of the tv suggest something else, take advantage of what you have because these days it's rare.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Singin4Him82 I don't want to make your issue seem small but please take a look at some of the issues in this thread and then take a look at your own. There are so many teens that would love to have their parents WANT to spend time with them and give them more time. My husband and I are ministers to teens who have zero time with their parents because they have deadbeat fathers, don't know who their fathers are, or their mothers threw them out because they are trying to get closer to God. What I'm saying is BE THANKFUL that you have parents who want to spend time with you and love you enough to make it an issue.

If you don't like sitting in front of the tv suggest something else, take advantage of what you have because these days it's rare.
Saying "Shut up and be thankful" doesn't solve his issue of not seeing watching TV as 'quality time'. Obviously there are people with much bigger problems, but this isn't called "Life Crisis".
Try just sitting down to watch TV with them but make an effort to get some conversation going on too. If they're the type of people to get angry if you talk during the show, talk to them during comercial breaks.
I agree, watching TV is a dumb way to spend your family time. But you can still make the best of it.
btw, how old are you?
Answer:
Originally Posted by Singin4Him82 I don't want to make your issue seem small but please take a look at some of the issues in this thread and then take a look at your own. There are so many teens that would love to have their parents WANT to spend time with them and give them more time. My husband and I are ministers to teens who have zero time with their parents because they have deadbeat fathers, don't know who their fathers are, or their mothers threw them out because they are trying to get closer to God. What I'm saying is BE THANKFUL that you have parents who want to spend time with you and love you enough to make it an issue.

If you don't like sitting in front of the tv suggest something else, take advantage of what you have because these days it's rare.
It is a big issue if his parents think " quality family time" is sitting in front of the tv. There is more going on I am sure. Sitting in the same room with someone doesn't mean you are spending time with that person, it just means you are occupying the same room. They aren't " spending time" with him if they are absorbed in a tv show.
Casey , maybe if you make a suggestion for a different activity . Like plan a Christmas shopping trip to find something for grandparents, or a picnic or dinner out as a family. If you come up with a better idea, maybe your dad will go for it. Get creative.
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btw, how old are you?
Haha, I'm 18. Starving college student though. Can't afford to get my own place yet. Am working tho... thanks for the words, jbm.
Casey , maybe if you make a suggestion for a different activity. Like plan a Christmas shopping trip to find something for grandparents, or a picnic or dinner out as a family. If you come up with a better idea, maybe your dad will go for it. Get creative.
Good ideas, thanks!
Case
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I agree with the others. That doesn't sound like quality time. I enjoy playing board games with my family or just sitting around and talking about life.
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See, I don't think I could ever do that with my family, the talking about life thing. We just wouldn't agree. We've never been the sort of family to do that anyways... I think they'd be shocked that I don't support Bush and don't consider myself a republican.
I'm not one of those ungrateful, attention-starved kids, and if you get that image of me I want it gone NOW! I don't know if a serious discussion would be anything of worth or edification to this family. That doesn't really bother me though. What DOES bother me is that he got on my case. It's kind of annoying to know that he wouldn't accept my real reason of why I don't want to "spend time" with them.
Case
Yikes. I just reread what I wrote and it came off looking kinda bad, It's hard to communicate what exactly the situation is, but I'll wait for responses to see if any of them are relevant.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Casey See, I don't think I could ever do that with my family, the talking about life thing. We just wouldn't agree. We've never been the sort of family to do that anyways... I think they'd be shocked that I don't support Bush and don't consider myself a republican.
I'm not one of those ungrateful, attention-starved kids, and if you get that image of me I want it gone NOW! I don't know if a serious discussion would be anything of worth or edification to this family. That doesn't really bother me though. What DOES bother me is that he got on my case. It's kind of annoying to know that he wouldn't accept my real reason of why I don't want to "spend time" with them.
Case
Yikes. I just reread what I wrote and it came off looking kinda bad, It's hard to communicate what exactly the situation is, but I'll wait for responses to see if any of them are relevant.
So, are you saying that you just don't want to spend time with your family at all?
As for talking about life the subject can range greatly from What Did You Do Today? to Presuppositional Apologetics: Two Big Words Most People Don't Care a Lick About.
Usually when I come home, I just ask my wife how her day was. We can talk for an hour just on that usually.
Answer:
What do YOU consider to be quality time?
Answer:
Originally Posted by exo So, are you saying that you just don't want to spend time with your family at all?
As for talking about life the subject can range greatly from What Did You Do Today? to Presuppositional Apologetics: Two Big Words Most People Don't Care a Lick About.
Usually when I come home, I just ask my wife how her day was. We can talk for an hour just on that usually. I guess I could do that if he brings it up again. Asking about everyone's day... In my other home though, the situation is EXACTLY the opposite, we spend time together, and like it, that would be my Mom and my Step Dad. At that house, we eat dinner at a table together every night and discuss those things, it's just fine, but that's something my dad wouldn't do. So it's not like I just don't like spending time with family... I dunnno, there's just something about my dad...
Case
Answer:
Originally Posted by Casey I guess I could do that if he brings it up again. Asking about everyone's day... In my other home though, the situation is EXACTLY the opposite, we spend time together, and like it, that would be my Mom and my Step Dad. At that house, we eat dinner at a table together every night and discuss those things, it's just fine, but that's something my dad wouldn't do. So it's not like I just don't like spending time with family... I dunnno, there's just something about my dad...
Case
I understand what you mean perfectly.
Answer:
Talking about things like sports might come in handy then. Find something you dad likes that wouldn't be likely to lead to an argument, and discuss that. Could be sports, music, movies, whatever.... just no politics, religion, philosophy, etc. You might see conversation as meaningless small talk, but it would definately be a step above watching TV together, and it might make your dad happy.