Question:
I have this friend, and she isn't really good at keeping up relationships... but the longest one that she has had, was for 6 months to the day, and that ended in the middle of the week last week.... she has come to me numerous times with problems with her love life, personal issues, and school related problems. She isn't a christian, and she is a hardcore drug abuser... and she is always worried about becoming pregnant with the guys that she is "seeing".. which is normally about 2 or 3 at a time.. i am worried about her, and all that i have done so far doesn't seem as tho i have done anything at all... i helped her to stay off of drugs for a full 2 months, but as she becomes even more upset and troubled, she relies on drugs to fulfill her needs and desires, either that, or sex will cure it for her... i dont' know what to do.. i talk to her constantly, and resite things from the bible to let her know that it is wrong... but she has this attitude of, "If i tell her this, maybe she won't respond".. but when i do respond to her comments and problems, she rolls her eyes, and asks why i always have to "preach" at her... i don't know what to do... please help me!
In Him,
Kate
Answer:
yea that is so tough. it's hard to talk to someone when they think you are preaching to them all the time. something i hvae found to help is that don't quote quote the bible, but like summarize the verse you want to say in your own words and then see her reaction. sometimes their reaction is different and then be like that was from God not me. let them know it's from the bible, but sometimes people like things differently, ya know? it's not easy to deal with someone who thinks that sex and drugs will cure everything either. generally they don't listen till they hit rock bottom and then it's too late. i know this won't seem like you're doing anything but pray your head off. love her and continue to show her love. be the one friend she will always be able to go to and don't be scared to let her know in those times when she is hurting that no one will ever be able to comfort her like God. no guy no girl no one. even if you don't want to you still need to present the gospuel to her. my friend jessi wouldn't stop inviting me to her stupid youth group and asked me everyday see saw me (which was everyday because we had a class togehter my freshmen year) to come to her youth group for 4 months!! that's like over 120 days non stop. finally i said "fine i'll go if you'll shut up" yea i found christ that night. don't stop talking to her aobut god and trying to encourage her through him. keep it up. i'm praying for you! remember prayer is our only defense and it's the best one too. later days!
Answer:
Originally Posted by Cinster yea that is so tough. it's hard to talk to someone when they think you are preaching to them all the time. something i hvae found to help is that don't quote quote the bible, but like summarize the verse you want to say in your own words and then see her reaction. sometimes their reaction is different and then be like that was from God not me. let them know it's from the bible, but sometimes people like things differently, ya know? it's not easy to deal with someone who thinks that sex and drugs will cure everything either. generally they don't listen till they hit rock bottom and then it's too late. i know this won't seem like you're doing anything but pray your head off. love her and continue to show her love. be the one friend she will always be able to go to and don't be scared to let her know in those times when she is hurting that no one will ever be able to comfort her like God. no guy no girl no one. even if you don't want to you still need to present the gospuel to her. my friend jessi wouldn't stop inviting me to her stupid youth group and asked me everyday see saw me (which was everyday because we had a class togehter my freshmen year) to come to her youth group for 4 months!! that's like over 120 days non stop. finally i said "fine i'll go if you'll shut up" yea i found christ that night. don't stop talking to her aobut god and trying to encourage her through him. keep it up. i'm praying for you! remember prayer is our only defense and it's the best one too. later days!
thanks a ton.. i appreciate it.. i just hate the feeling that what i am doing isn't nearly enough.. i have been inviting her to church and youth group for over a year now.. and she still refuses.. she just doesn't see a reason to believe in GOd.. yea.. she believes that there IS a god.. but not the ONE TRUE GOD.. and even if she did, she is at the point in life where she would think that there is no point in God even wanting her to come closer to him.. she has mentioned that before too...but thanks.. and you have no idea what it means to me to know that someone is praying for me!!!
In Him,
Kate
Answer:
Originally Posted by ForeverPraise thanks a ton.. i appreciate it.. i just hate the feeling that what i am doing isn't nearly enough 1 Corinthians 3:7
So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase.
Salvation is all about God. We can plant and water but we can never actually convince someone to turn to God. It's up to God to do that. Don't lose faith in preaching the Word, though.
Isaiah 55:10-11
"For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater,
So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
The Word is your seed to sow and, if God so wills, it will be the bread of life to your friend. Never lose faith in God's Word.
Answer:
listen to the roach. lol. but seriously. i know how you feel when you think that whta you are doing just isn't enough. i'm going through a little of that with a friend of mine. if you go to prayer requests you will find my thread there that gives all the details. but in short she has RSDS and is dying from it pretty much. i want to do so much for her but all i can do is pray. but think about that statement. . . "BUT all i can do is pray". . . "but"?!?! that is the biggest and greatest thing i could ever do for her!! but i don't see it that way because god isn't working fast enough for me. . do you konw what i mean? i personally put more stock in medicines and counselors and stuff like that, that i don't even go to god almighty, the alpha omega, creator of the universe, beginning and the end! i don't go to the one who can change everything if he WILLS it. even though it may feel like you're not doing anything or enough. . . .you are doing the best thing you could ever do for her. please know that! i have learned that. never underestimate the power of prayer! it's the best. what's better? later days!
Answer:
Originally Posted by Cinster listen to the roach. lol. but seriously. i know how you feel when you think that whta you are doing just isn't enough. i'm going through a little of that with a friend of mine. if you go to prayer requests you will find my thread there that gives all the details. but in short she has RSDS and is dying from it pretty much. i want to do so much for her but all i can do is pray. but think about that statement. . . "BUT all i can do is pray". . . "but"?!?! that is the biggest and greatest thing i could ever do for her!! but i don't see it that way because god isn't working fast enough for me. . do you konw what i mean? i personally put more stock in medicines and counselors and stuff like that, that i don't even go to god almighty, the alpha omega, creator of the universe, beginning and the end! i don't go to the one who can change everything if he WILLS it. even though it may feel like you're not doing anything or enough. . . .you are doing the best thing you could ever do for her. please know that! i have learned that. never underestimate the power of prayer! it's the best. what's better? later days!
You're rite... all i need to do is pray.. and that's ALL that i CAN do.. it's up to God to work things for her own good, not me... i just need to learn that although i am a disciple of GOd, sent to preach the gospel to the world, i am NOT God.. i cannot heal people, and make things better.. i can only pray.. for all things that we pray, believing, will come to us... that's a verse.. i just can't think of the reference rite now.. sorry!!.. but thanks alot..
and thanks to you too roach!.. im loving the encouragement of everyone on this website.. i really do appreciate it!
In Him,
Kate
Answer:
You said above that this girl feels like, even if God were real, surely He wouldn't be interested in her or want her to come to Him. The amazing thing, of course, is that He loves us the same no matter how messed up our lives are. Ultimately, it needs to be God who convinces her that he loves her beyond any question of deserving, but in the meantime, just by showing her love you are bearing witness to her that God loves even the unlovable.
So a good thing to pray is that you would be filled with God's love; that when talking to you, instead of feeling condemned this girl would feel accepted, and welcome; that she would experience a bit of God's love through you.
Also, you could pray for a deeper understanding of God's grace: the more you see your own brokenness and understand how little you deserve God's love, and the more you experience the love that He offers you anyways, the more you'll be able to witness to broken people. Faultless saints have trouble empathizing with anyone else or acting in humility towards others; only sinners saved by grace are able to lead other sinners into that grace.
Answer:
I suggest you quit preaching verses at her, I fear that will only alienate her from you, making it difficult for you to witness to her, period. I think, by your description of the girl, she looks to you for comfort and some sort of relation. She'd like to be understood, but at the same time, she wants you to realize that you don't know what it's like. Complex and contradictory, but that is how we humans are.
I suggest you continue inviting her to church, but moreso, to the youth group. My best friend of 12 years invited me to attend her youth group every single Wednesday for the first 6 years of our friendship until one day, for no particular reason, I decided to go! I don't know what broke down or what made me agree to go, but I figure it was the Spirit working in my heart and made me long for some time of fellowship. So I highly recommend you continue to invite her to that, as well as special trips like retreats and lock-ins, because those can be a lot of fun and she would have a chance to meet other cool Christians like yourself, who don't fill their lives up with drugs and sex in order to have fun.
Play it cool with the God talk. Be real with her. And each time you think there's an opportunity to bring it up, I suggest you say a quick prayer beforehand, something to the effect of, "Please God, use me as a tool. Don't let these words be mine, but let them be yours. Speak through me and tell this girl the things she needs to hear." And just let God take over.
Once again, plant seeds. Pray for her constantly. I think, if you remain loyal and don't give up on her, she'll stick around and God will work through you to bring her closer somehow. And if she does take off, pray for her still and pray that she might meet another Christian who could continue to planting and sowing in her heart. You cannot see what God is working in her heart, but the fact that He's working is a very encouraging thought.