Question:
What do you wish someone had told you—either about marriage or singleness—before you got married? Was your perspective about single life and married life accurate before you got hitched? In retrospect, is there anything you wish you'd done different with your single days?
Answer:
Apparently very few of us have things we wish people had told us...
Um, the only thing I can think of right now is that it's not worth it to save the money and not have someone record the ceremony.
Otherwise, we did counselling with our pastor... and I've become a rather forward person over the last few years... so anything I was (or currently) wondering, I could ask.
I can think of a few things I'd have done differently before the marriage, and maybe some relationships with friends (that were affected my relationship with Chris) that I'd have handled differently...
Answer:
I would make sure that the person performing the ceremony understood what a "homily" was, and doubly make sure that they knew that I didn't want a 30 minute long sermon while I am standing up front in uncomfortable rented shoes in a hot church.
But that's just me...
Answer:
thanks to well-meaning friends who give solicited and unsolicited advice/opinion... i don't have anything to share here hehe
one thing i realized now is that everything they said is true... from the big things in a marriage to little things.
i regret just one thing.. i didn't ask a lot of questions about s3x... i had too many theories of my own (and hubby) and in the end we realized we are just both dumdums when it comes to it hehehehe
Answer:
Originally Posted by Athanasius I would make sure that the person performing the ceremony understood what a "homily" was, and doubly make sure that they knew that I didn't want a 30 minute long sermon while I am standing up front in uncomfortable rented shoes in a hot church.
But that's just me... Pastor said to tell Jim that we wanted a 5-10 minute message, depending on how longwinded he is... so I told him that when I asked him to speak, and then said "for you, I'll say 3-5 minutes and we'll be done in about 15."
it was really good, though... (I barely remember what he said. )
Answer:
Heya Nickaroos!
As I mentioned on another thread, it's very important to have the talk about children prior to the marriage. The husband and wife have got to be on the same page with how many kids they want (if any) and if so, when to have them. I have seen this issue be a strain on many marriages.
Answer:
I know Max doesn't want kids. I'm neutral about it. right now I don't want kids, and I especially don't want kids a few years after we marry...

I don't know otherwise.
Answer:
Originally Posted by nix I know Max doesn't want kids. I'm neutral about it. right now I don't want kids, and I especially don't want kids a few years after we marry...

I don't know otherwise. that could pose a problem in the future... we women have a different feeling/desire/whatever you call it about having children... you say right now you don't... but what if 10 years down the road of your marriage you want to have kids and your husband doesn't want to? what then? you guys, need to talk this out in depth as Jay42 said.... does he really emphatically say no to kids? maybe you think you don't want kids right now because you're still young... but when you hear the biological clock ticking away, you'll be wanting to have one.
i know of a couple who got married and found out that they have different views about having kids... they struggled a lot about this, tried to work it out but in the end they just got divorced.
Answer:
Trust me! We talk about constantly! He does believe that if God wants us to have kids, then it will happen, despite any form of birth control. If I do fall pregnant.. we have discussed that he would accept it with all his heart because it would most definitly be God ordained!
Answer:
I wish and wish someone had advised me to have at least 2 kids close together. This gives the 2 kids a sibling for life and a playmate (this comes in to the picture in so many practical ways). We had 2 kids, but very far apart, like having 2 "only" children. They did not play together, etc. Both felt like they lost out.
So, someone has told you: there is great advantage in having 2 kids close together in age.