Question:
I dont know why i'm coming here for advice, i have a great friend who will just be glad if i come to her, but i can't, i dont know why.
The thing is lately eveything just blows up im my face. When i excepted Jesus, my life went straight for once. But lately it feels that even He is far. if ya all saw my testimony, you would know that i suffered from Depression for a lot of years, and i fear that its coming back. I keep shaking, i cant keep my hands still. And i feel all those well known symptoms coming back.

The problem is i don't have the energy to pull myself out again. I've been thinking a lot lately, about my past, and my future, and i must say i see only dark times.And its scaring me... I feel like i dissapoint everyone in my life, cause no one ever likes me, for more than two months. But i don't understand what i'm doing wrong. I'm caring, i don't drink and swear, and go clubbing and stuff. I'm just a normal human being. I pray for my friends and talk to them about Christ, you can almost say im doing everything by the book. But still. Nothing. I feel like i'm leaving this town, exactly as i came in. Alone.

I'm so scared about my future, and i don't know what to do anymore. I know that i am boring you to death right now. I dont even know why i told you all this. But all (i think) i need is someone to talk to, and some really good advice, on one big problem in my life.

I know i have one friend, but i can't talk to her anymore. since we heard i was leaving, we sort of, drew apart. Maybe we are both just sad i don't know, cause we have almost lived our whole life together.

Please help me, i'm desperate.
Answer:
first off, i am terribly sorry that you're going through such a rough time right now. and there is nothing i can really say to make it better, try as i might. all i can really do is encourage you.

when you accepted Christ, that's an awesome thing! and a lot of times, in the times immediately following, things go "right". But then, when the emotion wears off, satan will use that to get at us where we are the weakest--in your case, depression. i know that right now God feels far away, but remember that He promised several times that He will never leave you (Deut 31:8; Joshua 1; Matthew 28:20 for starters), and that He will always be near.
And our pasts and futures are pretty scary. But remember that God's name isn't "I Was" or "I Will Be" but His name is "I AM"... He was in the past and He will be in the future, but His name is I AM...as in the present tense.

He doesn't want you to stress about the past, nor the future. For one, the past is something that you can't redo, so there's no sense in stressing over it. Take whatever mistakes you made (or didn't make) and learn from them. And your future...God knows what He has planned for you (Jer 29:11) and even though we might not be able to see it, it will be for our best.

As far as pulling yourself out of it...you're not going to be able to do that. Apart from Christ, we can do nothing; we are nothing. Don't try to pull yourself out of your low...ask God to do it for you. Then wait on Him, and let Him show you what you need to do to get back to where you need to be--and that may be to ask for help from someone you know.

Remember...God never promised that the Christian life would be easy (in fact, He kind of told us it would be hard because we are to follow Christ's example, and His life certainly wasn't 'easy'). But, again, He promises us that He will never leave us, that He will do what is best for us according to His ultimate plan, and that He loves us, and so it doesn't matter what other people think.
Hang in there...and keep seeking Him.

His
Latte
Answer:
Hey, thanks for the advice, and the encouragement. I know you'r right, about every. Its just so hard, and i hate feeling the way i do.

Maybe it this going away thing that scares me so much. I have this fear, a fear a being alone.with this new town, comes new opportunity's, and i'm scared out of my wits. I know how long it took me to get my life straight and settle in here. Now i'm leaving again. I so confused, but i know (don't ask me how i know) that God wants me to go.

The other night i was crying, so read my bible and i came to a part wicth said, "trust Me, even if you're scared, for i know the way". And i instantly new God was talking to me. I doubted Him once, and i wont do it again, so i'm trusting Him, and i'm going no matter what the pain say's.

But lately, i can't seem to talk to God, each time i try, my head explodes with thoughs, and i get confused. So i just stop praying.My head is so full, i just wan't to scream...

Then comes the shaking, and the panic attacks. I need to crawl up in some whole, just to get some sleep, i need to get my head straight, before i lose it. Cause i've got everything and everybody on my mind.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Ouma But lately, i can't seem to talk to God, each time i try, my head explodes with thoughs, and i get confused. So i just stop praying.My head is so full, i just wan't to scream...
Speaking to God is one of the best things we can do, How else can we know "His will" for our lives? God is the closest relative we have, we are His children.
Check: Hebrews 4.12, and I hope this helps some. (your in my prayers)
Answer:
One of the things that it sounds to me like you are doing which is what I try and do all the time is that you are trying to do this all yourself. YOU are trying to do it all.
Originally Posted by Ouma The problem is i don't have the energy to pull myself out again
YOU don't have to do this. God loves you and wants to take away these feelings from you. When you became a Christian God said, "Hey I'm here now, let me carry that burden" He wants you to go to Him with this so YOU don't have to deal with it. Does this make sense to you?
Originally Posted by Ouma I've been thinking a lot lately, about my past, and my future, and i must say i see only dark times
Your past is going to be full of dark times, but it was because you were without Christ and His love, mercy, and grace. Your future may hold difficult times, but they won't be dark because you have the Light of the World with you, Christ. I know this may sound repetitive, but you have to continually take this to God.
Originally Posted by Ouma I feel like i dissapoint everyone in my life, cause no one ever likes me, for more than two months. But i don't understand what i'm doing wrong. I'm caring, i don't drink and swear, and go clubbing and stuff. I'm just a normal human being. I pray for my friends and talk to them about Christ, you can almost say im doing everything by the book. But still. Nothing. I feel like i'm leaving this town, exactly as i came in. Alone.
This may sound harsh, but no one else in the world matters if you are glorifying God. I struggle with this even because I want to please everyone around me and I don't glorify God. You say you are doing everything by the book.. . . stop that and do everything by the Spirit. You can't go only on what you read, but you have to go with what you feel in your heart and feel where and how God is leading you. And above all else, know that you ARE NOT ALONE!! You have Christ, Jesus walking by your side the whole way! Isn't that great!?! I know it may not feel like that becaue we humans tend to need tangible things, but you aren't going to get anything better than His love, grace, and mercy. He is just waiting for you to come to Him. . He is calling your name. You just have to answer.
Originally Posted by Ouma I'm so scared about my future, and i don't know what to do anymore.
Fear is not from God my friend. Fear comes from Satan. Don't let Him bog you down. You have God's love and you need to go to Him. I know you said when you pray you feel like your head is going to explode with thoughts. . .that is Satan. Ask God to remove Him from your mind and ask for peace. Sit there a moment and try it again. If it doesn't work. . keep trying until you have peace. I want to help as much as I can, but mostly it is God that is working not you and not me. I am praying for you. Remember God loves you and that you are His. NO need for any fear or worry because we are His. If you want to talk more PM me or I have AIM, MSN, and Yahoo where I can be reached and my email address is J_Cin08@hotmail.com. Please keep me posted. I love you and so does God!! Later days!
~::Cin::~
Answer:
You seem to be able to write your problems down. So, let’s write a letter to God, write down everything that’s bothering you, all your problems no matter how small. Then, when you go to pray read the letter to God, maybe then you’ll be able to get it all out.

While you’re at it if there’s anything you feel you should confess write that down too. The future is a scary thing, but it’s not in your hands anymore God will lead you to where He wants you it’s scary but it’s also exciting!

Try to look forward to the adventure and not back to the sadness or mistakes. Any mistakes you’ve made can and will be used by God for His glory this is one of the greatest things about being children of God.

You are in a unique situation and at some point God will use this situation nobody knows how except God, but it could be that you end up helping other people to get out of depression and confusion to find the peace that only rests in Christ. That would be a truly happy ending to a sad story.

Stay strong and spend time with Jesus you newest and best friend.



Peace
Answer:
Fear is not from God my friend. Fear comes from Satan. Don't let Him bog you down. You have God's love and you need to go to Him. I know you said when you pray you feel like your head is going to explode with thoughts. . .that is Satan. Ask God to remove Him from your mind and ask for peace. Sit there a moment and try it again. If it doesn't work. . keep trying until you have peace. I want to help as much as I can, but mostly it is God that is working not you and not me. I am praying for you. Remember God loves you and that you are His. NO need for any fear or worry because we are His. If you want to talk more PM me or I have AIM, MSN, and Yahoo where I can be reached and my email address is J_Cin08@hotmail.com. Please keep me posted. I love you and so does God!! Later days!

Thank you all for your advice, and encouragement. I was away for a few days, so i only saw the reply's just now.

Cinster, thank you very much for all your advice, i saw it, and it broke my heart (in a good way) I know your right.

When i said that i do everything by the book, i didn't really mean "by the book" I do everything, in a way, that i know is good and pure. (I don't think this makes any sense) And i know that the only friend you really need is God, but somethimes, i just need to talk to someone, you know, someone to talk to, someone to give me hugs when i'm sad, and someone who can help me with Questions about God. Just normal everyday stuff. I know God is there, but sometimes i just need someone thats here. I just feel alone. (i don't know if you understand?)

I'll try the advice given by all of you. Asspecially the one who gave me advice on how to pray and clear my mind when i do so. I'm so confused about alot of stuff i cant get into today. Maybe thats why my writing is so scrambled.
I'll give you an update tomorrow, but i have to go now.

Thanks again everyone.

Please pray for me. Cause its getting worse. I havent slept in a week. Please, please pray, that God will help me. I really need to reach Him.
Answer:
2Co 12:7 Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me--to keep me from exalting myself!
2Co 12:8 Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me.
2Co 12:9 And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
2Co 12:10 Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.
Joh 16:21 "Whenever a woman is in labor she has pain, because her hour has come; but when she gives birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy that a child has been born into the world.
Joh 16:22 "Therefore you too have grief now; but I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you.
Joh 16:23 "In that day you will not question Me about anything. Truly, truly, I say to you, if you ask the Father for anything in My name, He will give it to you.
Answer:
Just a note about depression:
There is clinical depression and then there is everyday depression (temporarily feeling down). I am a christian who has clinical mild depression at the moment, and even though prayer and reading the bible and being close to God helps - ALOT! Its not gonna help if there are underlying issues here.

I can have everything going right for me, yet I will feel down and I wont be able to explain it. You seem to have alot of anxiety, about something. You really need to get professional help for this, whether from your GP or a counselor. Its a condition that if you leave untreated will debilitate your actions and will hinder your work, your relationships and even your relationship with God. Dont let yourself think you can work yourself out of it, cuz you cant.

It may be that you have suppressed something from your past that you need to deal with - whether it be a sin you committed or one that was commited against you. Abuse, abondonment, family probs. This is where God can work healing for you, but you need to bring it before him. Talk to someone with experience. I know what it is like, and its not that bad once you seek help. I recommend that you dont take drugs for it, but to seek coucelling first. They can determine if you do have depression or anxiety problems and work with you to work at dealing with it.
I am praying for you .

P.S. Christian counsellors are better for they direct you seek God in the process of recovery.
Answer:
Originally Posted by JWillett Just a note about depression:
There is clinical depression and then there is everyday depression (temporarily feeling down). I am a christian who has clinical mild depression at the moment, and even though prayer and reading the bible and being close to God helps - ALOT! Its not gonna help if there are underlying issues here.
I can have everything going right for me, yet I will feel down and I wont be able to explain it. You seem to have alot of anxiety, about something. You really need to get professional help for this, whether from your GP or a counselor. Its a condition that if you leave untreated will debilitate your actions and will hinder your work, your relationships and even your relationship with God. Dont let yourself think you can work yourself out of it, cuz you cant.
It may be that you have suppressed something from your past that you need to deal with - whether it be a sin you committed or one that was commited against you. Abuse, abondonment, family probs. This is where God can work healing for you, but you need to bring it before him. Talk to someone with experience. I know what it is like, and its not that bad once you seek help. I recommend that you dont take drugs for it, but to seek coucelling first. They can determine if you do have depression or anxiety problems and work with you to work at dealing with it.
I am praying for you .
P.S. Christian counsellors are better for they direct you seek God in the process of recovery. Thanks for the reply, your absolutely right. There is something from my past, i'm suppresing. The problem is, it didn't end, in my past, its still going on. But it hurts me to much to talk about it. To anyone, i know exactly what you mean about deppresion. Mine grew so big, that they almost sent me to a loony bin (i'm serious) (not because i was crazy, but because i constantly tried to kill myself)
When i was in High school last year, i saw a Christian Counselor, but she was the one who wanted to sent be to a mental instatution. I was in there for a few days, and believe me, it didn't work. It was torture.
I've been thru so much, i don't want to be in that situation again. I don't want to talk to anyone about this anymore, cause i don't want the poeple (that can see me) to know. (i don't know if you quite undertood me, its easier to talk to you guys, but i won't be able to see another counselor or anyone about this face to face)
Now, i really don't know what to do.
Answer:
Well I am praying for you. Although I haven't been to the extreme down that I want to kill myself, I have thought on it once or twice.
But I know that there are better ways to put my life on the line. Being dead to myself and living in Christ!
It sounds strange I know but I would rather go out and completely do God's will in a place that needs me, than to kill myself. My friends definately need me, if only to be their grounded influence of the Lord. I pray that someday the Lord will use me for some good and to heal their brokeness through Jesus Christ and lead them back to the Lord.

As far as the anxiety and depression, it really needs to be addressed. I bet you its hard for you right now because you are also stressed about other things, like moving?
With depression I find I can cope until there are other stresses, then it all blows up in my face. Just recently it exploded and I had to drop everything - prac at uni, work, and my G/F couldn't handle it so she's gone too. Its through my brokeness that I can really sort out my problems.
When you find it explode in your face you will probably think its the end of
everything. Its only the beginning of a very long healing process.

Its gonna be hard, but when you have the courage to face the problems you are suppressing and bite the bullet and realise you need help, it will help. If it is severe and you are suicidal, my GP has advised me that some antidepressants are really good these days to bump your brain chemicals up that give you a euphoric and calming feeling.

This may be a good option whilst you work through your problem. But its better that you talk to someone professional about this, and really seek God. The guys above have given some really encouraging verses and it sounds like you have alot of friends here.

I dont think I am the best person to give advise, so what is offered above is merely my own problems and the way I am handling it. I know what you are feeling as I am still suffering too, but it is a process and I know God is working towards restoring my soul and my heart and bringing peace and love back into my life.
Answer:
Originally Posted by smitty2622 You seem to be able to write your problems down. So, let’s write a letter to God, write down everything that’s bothering you, all your problems no matter how small. Then, when you go to pray read the letter to God, maybe then you’ll be able to get it all out. While you’re at it if there’s anything you feel you should confess write that down too. The future is a scary thing, but it’s not in your hands anymore God will lead you to where He wants you it’s scary but it’s also exciting! Try to look forward to the adventure and not back to the sadness or mistakes. Any mistakes you’ve made can and will be used by God for His glory this is one of the greatest things about being children of God. You are in a unique situation and at some point God will use this situation nobody knows how except God, but it could be that you end up helping other people to get out of depression and confusion to find the peace that only rests in Christ. That would be a truly happy ending to a sad story. Stay strong and spend time with Jesus you newest and best friend.
Peace
I want to thank you all for the much needed advice. I really do appreciate all the help. I decided to try smitty2622's idea about writing a letter to God, maybe that will enable me to communicate with Him.
All of you have made me realized how much i need God right now, so i'm really gonna make an effort to connect to Him. The devil is making my life a living hell, and i'm struggling, really. But i'm going to go to my one and only friend tonight (except for you guys) and ask her to pray for me, and to help me. Even if i feel strange.
You all have given me so much advice, and i really appreciate it. If it wasn't for you guys here at CGR, that cheered me up everyday, i would have been a lost case.
Please pray for me. And if you have anymore advice, Please tell me. All of you have only given me good advice.
O yes, and Jwillet, thanks for all your help to. I know that youre also going thru a rough time, but still you made time to give advice to a small thingy as me. I wish you all the best with your own problems.
Please keep praying, i really don't want to fall into that dark hole again.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Ouma Cinster, thank you very much for all your advice, i saw it, and it broke my heart (in a good way) I know your right.
When i said that i do everything by the book, i didn't really mean "by the book" I do everything, in a way, that i know is good and pure. (I don't think this makes any sense) And i know that the only friend you really need is God, but somethimes, i just need to talk to someone, you know, someone to talk to, someone to give me hugs when i'm sad, and someone who can help me with Questions about God. Just normal everyday stuff. I know God is there, but sometimes i just need someone thats here. I just feel alone. (i don't know if you understand?)
I'll try the advice given by all of you. Asspecially the one who gave me advice on how to pray and clear my mind when i do so. I'm so confused about alot of stuff i cant get into today. Maybe thats why my writing is so scrambled.
I'll give you an update tomorrow, but i have to go now.
Thanks again everyone.
Please pray for me. Cause its getting worse. I havent slept in a week. Please, please pray, that God will help me. I really need to reach Him.
I totally know what you mean by wanting someone with flesh! It is so comforting to have your best friend right there giving you hugs and telling you everything is going to be ok. And that is totally fine to do that. My only concern (because sometimes I do this) is not to become to dependent on your friends. I do this. I become so dependent on my friends that I leave God out. That is my only concern. I mean totally go to your friends with this stuff just don't forget God. Our friends are here to laugh with us and cry with us. We are to mourn with those who mourn and be happy with those who are happy and so it's ok. I love you and I'm praying for you! Later days!
~::Cin::~
Answer:
Hey Guys. Well i wanted to write to you all ,to say thanks. I didn't have the guts to go to my friend and tell her the whole story, so i just showed her this thread. And she understood it. Well, i'm not leaving my home town for a few months. If you visit my Journal you'll see why. I
'm only leaving June next year. I feel alot better, i decided to take care of myself for once. So i sort of gave myself a mini make over. And i feel tons better. Me and two friends are going camping at the end of the month. Because they say i need a vacation. So maybe that'll help. I know that this is a good start, but i wont take away deppresion. But i'm only taking one thing at a time. I write to you all, to keep you updated. Thanks again for all you'r advice. I really apreciate it.
God bless
Ouma