Question:
Well, I just don't think God cares about me. I have had a lot happen to me, and I will give you a list right now about some of the bad things.
I lost someone that I really, really loved a lot.
I lost someone that I really, really cared a lot to evil and conniving friends.
I watched my dad die in front of me.
My dad didn't really love me until he was about to die.
My mother is always lonely.
I don't feel like I am going to be able to accomplish anything in life because I didn't do good on a test to get into graduate school.
And It just seems like God hasn't been listening to me for about 1.5 years now.
I made a Christian guy really upset today. He gave me this "are you a good person card" to try and get me to be saved. When asked why he thought I wasn't saved, he said that I had said somethings in class. I had cussed, and I could give him that. But when I told him my predicament, he couldn't help me.
Basically, I have had a lot of bad things happen to me in life. This is not a post for pity, or for people to tell me that I am having trials, etc. This is a post that is asking why God lets so many good things happen to bad people.
I tried everything that I felt God wanted me to do. I gave 10%+ of everything that I earned, prayed every day constantly, did acts of charity, tried to live an exemplified Christian life, and when bad things happened, I kept up my faith and said that God would led me through them; but it doesn't feel like he ever did.
If God is just and all loving, then why is it that some bad people have it so much better than some good people who really try? I know we strive for rewards not on earth, but it seems like if the bad person suffers and then comes to Christ before he dies (and goes to heave) but the Christian suffers throughout his life and then still goes to heaven, it doesn't seem like that is very fair.
This is not true all the time for bad people or good people, but it does happen. Why is that?
I am just so down right now, and have been for a while. I thought I had met a new and wonderful girl that God had sent me, but she was just a liar and a user. Now I am worse than ever and it feels like God just doesn't care about me. I tried so hard to do good on the test, to be a good son, to be a good Christian, to be all that God wanted me to be, but it seems like everyone else has it better, are happier, and God won't give me any peace.
I just don't have any faith anymore...
Answer:
You ask a deep question, "the problem of pain" has been a serious question for a long time. C.S. Lewis has a book by the same title and if you are seriously searching for answers I would look into it. Another book I would recommend is A Grief Observed also by C.S. Lewis, this is Lewis's journal that he wrote after suffering through his wife's death.
All try to give a little help myself, but if it doesn't help or make sense, just ignore it.
To begin a good question is "Does God want us to be happy?" Of course the answer seems to be yes, but what what does this entail. I think an analogy would help. If a parent wishes that their child to grow up to be a happy well adjusted adult there will obviously work towards that. They will not let the child have everything they want, they will teach the child what it means to be a person. Say one day the child wants to play in the street. Will a good parent let him? No, regardless of whether or not playing in the street will make the child happy. Playing there is dangerous and a good parent will not let the child even if it makes him unhappy. From the child's point of view it is unfair, unjust but they do not see the danger, their view is limited and they don't see the whole picture. The same can be said about our relationship with God. He is the parent we are the child. He knows what is best for us and although it may make us unhappy at the moment it is for our good. If a child has trouble understanding his parents reasons how much more confusing can God's reasons seem to us? So in short, God does not want us to be happy, necessarily, he wants us to be the best sons and daughters we can.
And what is our example of good child. Christ Jesus is. How much did Christ suffer, how much pain did he endure before he died. If we are to be like Christ it is clear that we will suffer:
And He summoned the crowd with His disciples, and said to them, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. (Mark 8:34)
We become like Christ in our suffering which means we become like the best. I will leave you with a passage from 1 Peter 4:
12Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you;
13but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation.
14If you are reviled for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you.
15Make sure that none of you suffers as a murderer, or thief, or evildoer, or a troublesome meddler;
16but if anyone suffers as a Christian, he is not to be ashamed, but is to glorify God in this name.
17For it is time for judgment to begin with the household of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God?
18AND IF IT IS WITH DIFFICULTY THAT THE RIGHTEOUS IS SAVED, WHAT WILL BECOME OF THE GODLESS MAN AND THE SINNER?
19Therefore, those also who suffer according to the will of God shall entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.
I sincerely hope this helps. You'll be in my prayers
~Michael
Answer:
I understand what you are saying Michael.
I just feel pretty down right now.
-L.E.
Answer:
Job 35
1 Then Elihu said:
2 "Do you think this is just?
You say, 'I will be cleared by God.'
3 Yet you ask him, 'What profit is it to me,
and what do I gain by not sinning?'
4 "I would like to reply to you
and to your friends with you.
5 Look up at the heavens and see;
gaze at the clouds so high above you.
6 If you sin, how does that affect him?
If your sins are many, what does that do to him?
7 If you are righteous, what do you give to him,
or what does he receive from your hand?
8 Your wickedness affects only a man like yourself,
and your righteousness only the sons of men.
9 "Men cry out under a load of oppression;
they plead for relief from the arm of the powerful.
10 But no one says, 'Where is God my Maker,
who gives songs in the night,
11 who teaches more to us than to the beasts of the earth
and makes us wiser than the birds of the air?'
12 He does not answer when men cry out
because of the arrogance of the wicked.
13 Indeed, God does not listen to their empty plea;
the Almighty pays no attention to it.
14 How much less, then, will he listen
when you say that you do not see him,
that your case is before him
and you must wait for him,
15 and further, that his anger never punishes
and he does not take the least notice of wickedness.
16 So Job opens his mouth with empty talk;
without knowledge he multiplies words."
People act like when they do good they're doing God a favor, but they're not. The fact is that God is God, completely untouchable. Whether you accept him or reject him, live for good or live for evil, it only affects you and the people around you. But remember God is the one who gives you everything you have, as Elihu says later on if God were to hold his breath everyone would die of suffocation.
Even in the crappiest situation you can possibly be in, any little bit of good or comfort you have is from God. But so often people don't give God any mind, when things are good they forget him, and even with a faithful man (like Job) when things go bad they lose sight and accuse God and wonder what the point of their faithfulness was.
The point is that it's not for God's benefit that you do good, it's not to earn a happy life that you do good. God is the judge, yes, and he will be impartial when he deals out justice, but you're not doing good for his benefit. You are to live in righteousness because it is the right thing to do, it is how God designed the world to work. And you are to be faithful to God not for what he does or does not give you but because he is God, your maker and sustainer of life.
Job 36
15 But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering;
he speaks to them in their affliction.
16 "He is wooing you from the jaws of distress
to a spacious place free from restriction,
to the comfort of your table laden with choice food.
The comfort wasn't the blessings we see Job receive at the end of the book, it's a grace-based relationship. The spacious place free of restriction because doing good is not about impressing God or trying to make the cut, but doing what is good because it is good, and drawing near to God because he is your maker and sustainer of life, not anything or anyone on earth.
God is the source of life and all that is good, so if you reject him he wouldn't even need to send you to hell for you to be in it, and if you aren't in hell it's because of the good he is actively giving to you. That's the idea, God didn't just put us on the world and set it spinning, but every moment we rely on him whether we realize it or not. It's about living according to how he made us, fully dependent on him rather than anything of earth, and living righteously.
1) You need to accept that not all justice is served on this earth, but everyone will get exactly what they deserve with the final judgment. The final reign will be perfect. It will be satisfactory. It will be worthwhile. The last will be first and the first will be last. You need to fix your eyes on this hope and praise God for it. Not just passively in acknowledgement, but praise him with words from your mouth. He has reconciled all things to himself. He has given us this great hope. He came and died for it. So do not fail to give him proper recognition for it.
2) You need to be vocally thankful for what you do have, because all of it is given to you. Do you sleep in a bed? Do you have a room? Do you see a pretty sunset now and then? Do you ever like the taste of food? Can you walk on two legs? Can you see? Hear? Is there anyone whose company you enjoy? Do you have some understanding about some things in life? These are all gifts from God, and not ones he left on your doorstep, but he is right beside you to share in your joy. Do not miss them from being too busy looking at what you lack. Again, say it with your mouth. You can always pretend something you thought didn't exist when you get in a bad mood, but if you say it out loud, it is more real in your memory. And not least of all, God is worthy of it.
3) You need to revamp your ideas of success. Do you think a person needs to go to graduate school to accomplish something meaningful in life? 99% of people in the world do not get that opportunity, can they not do something good and live lives that are pleasing to God? American riches and knowledge are not requirements, all that is needed is to know God and follow his ways. Anyone who comes to know God has an equal opportunity to live a successful life that is pleasing to him, no matter what country, position or time in history they were born. Think about that.
4) You need to study Ecclesiastes. I'm serious, start it now. The man who wrote it was given wisdom by God, he had more wisdom than any man to walk the earth besides Jesus. Study it, really listen to what it says about how to look at life, think about how it is different from the way you have been looking at life. When you are done, remember it is incomplete on it's own because Christ didn't come until after the book was written. So on top of all that wisdom, read the gospel of John and see a great hope and reason for abundant joy. Studying these two with humility and honesty will completely change your life.
5) Know that pride does not always come in the form of "I am great" but also "I am worthless," it is that common factor of "I" that marks a prideful mindset. You need to confess this and repent of a prideful, self-centered mindset and humbly set your eyes on Christ and his purposes. I don't need to go to where you live to know that there are people in need there and that you are paying little mind to them.
Accept the identity and role that God has given you for his kingdom, look to what you can do to work God's love in the lives of those around you. You say you are lacking faith, but what does it say in James? Faith without works is dead. So if you find your faith dying off, it may be because you have not been working in love.
This is not to say you should only think of the needs of others. It is good to have some mind for where you are at in life, just as it is good for a farmer to plant his seeds that he may have something to eat and share, but God makes it grow and it does not define your worth. Consider the needs of other's before your own, but have mind for your own life insofar as it will keep you on track to benefit all.
6) I do not mean to be harsh, only truthful. I have lived a very hard life and I am still in it. I understand that pain is still painful, and I do not seek to rob you of your right to say when something hurts. But know that there is always pain and there is always good, and we need to be honest with them both. Some people say you should only look at the good, but I think if you don't recognize your lowly state it is not honoring to God when he delivers you from it. It is not fun to be in the Desert, we need to be honest with that to fully realize the blessing of the Promised Land.
However, pain is not a reason to lose heart, and if we just focus on our pain then we do not give due honor to God for all his kindness to us, both that which is experienced now and that which is coming in heaven. When we remain faithful through the pain, we share in the same sufferings that Christ experienced, we become more like him in understanding and character, we grow in our capacity to love him and others, and we will share in his glory when he returns. (Hebrews 12:1-14, Romans 8:16-24)
7) Don't comapre your life to those around you, because you do not know the whole truth of what their heart is dealing with, and you do not know where life will take you. God may make your life like Joseph, much suffering for a great good. He may plan for you to be like Lazarus (in Luke 16), much suffering to be comforted in heaven. I don't know, but personally I don't think you have it as bad as either of them, and whatever God's plan is, if you commit to loving him through Christ it is for your good (Rom 8:28) either here or in heaven.
8) I guess that is all. Please take these things to heart and to prayer. You are experiencing harder times than you have known, and from them you have the opportunity to learn much more than you have ever known. I know it can be difficult, but it is through faithfulness in our purpose that we are upheld. I'm pretty sick at the moment and the physical weakness was starting to make my focus more earthly and selfish, but through encouraging you God has reminded me of all these things as well. I find that God loves to bless us like that when we seek to bless others, try it out.
Answer:
I am sorry that all of these bad things happened to you. Sometimes hard things can pile up on us.
For starters, I can tell you that Bill gave me Psalm 73 for reasons similar to some of yours.
I am sorry that you lost your Dad. My parents are both gone now. I see that deathbed scene with your Dad as a blessing from God. Yes, much of the situation was disappointing but you still have, and you will always have, that final good thing when your earth dad reached out to you.
The test and success in life really do not have to have anything to do with each other. I am pretty old and I think that when we are young, people impress upon us to do well in school and we do not know the whole truth about that and life when we are young. In my family, the 2 people who are making the most money and get along best with other people are the same 2 people who never even graduated from High School. How about that? I still think that it would be a good idea to go to school and do your best but do not think that moderate grades are the ruination of your life. They are not.
God most certainly can hide Himself from us. Sometimes for long periods of time. I hate it when He does that. He is still there. He still hears your prayers. Don't let Him kid you by His keeping quiet.
This is the best that I can do for you right now. I hope that some of it helped.
Answer:
I tried everything that I felt God wanted me to do. I gave 10%+ of everything that I earned, prayed every day constantly, did acts of charity, tried to live an exemplified Christian life, and when bad things happened, I kept up my faith and said that God would led me through them; but it doesn't feel like he ever did.
You did everything you could, and that is good. But salvation and trust in Jesus don't depend on what good karma you earn, it is about seeking him and doing his will. His will is that you trust him to save you and heal you.
These are things that happen to everyone, lots of people lose friends, see the bad guy get everything but punishment, and do everything for god. But you cannot earn a life with no problems. You can only ask God, study, do everything you can to learn how a wise person handles these things. This life is full of learning opportunities, opportunities for you to learn to be more like God.
If you see him as a punishing God, you can't love or trust him. You need to grow closer to God.
And as you grow closer, you will see how these things made you grow.
You certainly haven't lost your faith, because you've hit a bottom and you came to a place where Godly people could give you advice. God wouldn't just make everthing better so you could go on about your life being as shallow as ever. Sorry that's a bit curt, I'm just pressed for time. I will be praying for you.
Answer:
I've been where you are before. Nothing quite as tragic. But I've lost all my friends for another's wrongdoings.
Life's tough, I understand, Im sorry. It sucks. I've stopped believing in God before, but he has never forsaken me for too long.
I hope that encourages you. Its going to be hard, but in the end it will be okay.
Im sorry all that has happened. It sounds tough. I'm sure its hard to trust God right now, but even the worst things that happen God can use.
Answer:
He makes oceans from the rain.
Thanks guys. This is all some awesome advice.
I know you guys are praying for me, because even though things are at their worst, I am feeling better.
Any more advice would be appreciated, and I thank you all so very much.
-L.E.
Answer:
Well, a quick update, I am feeling a lot better. I have done a lot of soul searching and seeking, and I have come to the conclusion that no matter what happens God has my best intents in mind. He takes care of me, but only as much as I trust Him.
Thanks guys, you have helped me to regain my faith. I appreciate it, and I am sure that God does too.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Gains238 Well, a quick update, I am feeling a lot better. I have done a lot of soul searching and seeking, and I have come to the conclusion that no matter what happens God has my best intents in mind. He takes care of me, but only as much as I trust Him.
Thanks guys, you have helped me to regain my faith. I appreciate it, and I am sure that God does too.
You never really lost it. Anyway, god had you in his hand. Trust comes from Him. Glad you're feeling better.
Answer:
I really appreciate this forum, and the people who are on it. Thanks guys, it means a lot to me.