Question:
One of my good friends has been dating this guy for a few months now (since Decemberish?). He's a very nice guy, treats her pretty well, and she's happier than I've seen her with anyone else she's ever dated. They're pretty serious too and are moving to the same city soon (but not living together).
Here's the problem... he smokes a lot of pot, and she knows he used to, thinks he no longer does. Right now he's here in town for a week, w/ all of his belongings before they both move next weekend. He told me he has a LOT of stuff on him. And by a lot, I mean quite possibly jail time if he gets caught with it (and he's driving around with it in a car w/ an out of state liscence plate).
If the guy were the friend I've known longer, I would just encourage him to get rid of it asap and hope he tells her eventually. But since I've known the girl since I was 10, I feel like maybe I should tell her. I really don't want to see them break up over this. It's a tough situation because he told he had the stuff on him in confidence (i.e. I told him I wouldn't tell the girl).
I'm having a hard time deciding what would be best to do. Any suggestions?
Answer:
You can turn him into the police. I wouldn't reccommend it. You said you wouldn't tell. Then don't tell. I would sit down with him and encourage him to tell her. It's still his choice. I wouldn't rat him out to her, if I was to rat him out to anyone, it would be the authorities.
Answer:
I agree. You kind of jiggered yourself when you said you wouldn't tell anyone. But I would definitely speak with him again and try to get him to own up to it.
On second thought, I don't know that keeping it a secret is the best idea. What he's doing is illegal and could get not just him but your friend into a lot of trouble.
Answer:
I would say talk to him. If that doesn't work, in spite of the fact that you've said you wouldn't tell... what other reason do you have not to tell? This is a pretty serious thing. If he lies about pot, what else will he lie about? And what kind of other dangers will he put her into without her knowing it?
That is just me, though. But if you tell her, he should know that you are going to. *shrug*
Answer:
Hey I agree with what murdock is saying here, If he likes this girl he should not be keeping secrets, relationships are built on trust, and well he is breaking it, and you said you would not tell but in a situation like this you have to talk to him and if that does not work i think it would be best to tell your friend, she deserves to know, and if that dont work go to the authorities, your friend would be upset if she found out you knew about it and did not say anything to her..thats just my opinion, i hope it helps you
Answer:
Tell her.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Nate Tell her. Yep. She needs to know. He's obviously being dishonest with her if he's making her think that he isn't breaking the law anymore when he, in fact, is. She needs to dump the guy and someone who won't lie to her and actually has some regard for the law.