Question:
I've been friends with this girl for a long time. We've been through so much together. She is suicidal and I've kept her from committing suicide. She's tried OD'ing on all kinds of stuff...and we've just been through so many things..drugs, sex, drinking...and she is only 14. I love her as a sister and I've just tried to be a great friend for her.
Recently she told me she is bi. I'm the only person that she'll tell cause she's afraid that her family and her friends will freak out. My first thought was to find out whether she actually wanted to be bi or if it was something that she was struggling against. So i asked. She wants to be bi.
My heart is hurting for her so much right now. She has accepted Jesus as her savior before but now has decided that she doesn't want to have any thing to do with Him. I told her what I thought about it and how I believed it was wrong and she was like "well thats cause yer a Christian."
I think that the reason she is bi is because an unhealthy cycle of emotions. Things like rejection, shame, self pity, fear, envy and isolation. She hasn't had a lot of "parents" in her parents.
I've told her that no matter what choices in life she makes; I'll always be there as a friend for her. I'm not shunning her cause she is bi...or for any reason at all. This just hurts a lot.
Answer:
I think you're making the best choice by not abandoning her. Just be there for her and continually pray for her. It may take time, but God is faithful. (It took my wife praying for her mother for several years before her mother finally became Christian)
Answer:
Originally Posted by Chris I think you're making the best choice by not abandoning her. Just be there for her and continually pray for her. It may take time, but God is faithful. (It took my wife praying for her mother for several years before her mother finally became Christian) I agree with Chris.
Against the beliefes of a lot of non-christians, being gay/bi/les is not something your born with, it's a temptation. Much like Porn or other forms of sexual temptation. It appears to me that Satan is attacking her while she's week, and it's working.
So, is her being Bi really the problem? Or is her becoming that way a symptom of everything else going on in her life? Perhaps she's just looking for anything that can relieve some of the pain she feels, and she thinks that will help.
Kind of like cutting, or drugs, or alcohul problems, yes, they can all very well be big problems. But, sometimes or oftentimes, they are symptoms of other problems. Bad addictions or habbits picked up when the victom is just looking for a way to relieve their pain caused by other major issues.
So, maybe you could try to find out a few things: Why does she want to be bi? What does she think it'll do? What is her point in it?
Maybe before you can worry about her being bi, you need to help her solve some of the other problems that have been going on for a longer time. By trying to solve the problems that have brought about the suicidal temptations, etc.
And always remember to pray pray pray. Too many times we as humans turn to prayer as a last resort, when it should really be our first. With God all things are possible. With God, your friend can get better.
Answer:
The thing that stood out for me most was that you said that she "wants" to be bi. Without getting into the whole "is homosexuality/bisexuality something you're born with or is it something you choose?" debate, it seems here like a form of rebellion/experimentation. I've seen tons of people at college go through a bisexual phase and experiment with the same sex, only to revert back to a traditional heterosexuality later.
I understand that you're upset and dismayed by this...you've been by her through so much and I really commend you for that. I would encourage you to continue to be her friend and be there for her--by being that stable good influence in her life you can have more of an impact than you know. You don't have to agree with her decision. you shouldn't agree with her decision. But then you've been here before with her, no? You probably didn't agree with her drug use, either. It's hard to watch someone you care about make a ton of wrong choices, it really is. Be her rock that can anchor her when things get bad, and she will remember it. And pray for her. Continue to pray for her.
Maybe talk to a pastor or someone about how you can best guide her? Or get her to talk to someone who can help her with all these issues. Don't go it alone
Answer:
Originally Posted by Sith of blades I agree with Chris.
Against the beliefes of a lot of non-christians, being gay/bi/les is not something your born with, it's a temptation. Much like Porn or other forms of sexual temptation. It appears to me that Satan is attacking her while she's week, and it's working.
So, is her being Bi really the problem? Or is her becoming that way a symptom of everything else going on in her life? Perhaps she's just looking for anything that can relieve some of the pain she feels, and she thinks that will help.
Kind of like cutting, or drugs, or alcohul problems, yes, they can all very well be big problems. But, sometimes or oftentimes, they are symptoms of other problems. Bad addictions or habbits picked up when the victom is just looking for a way to relieve their pain caused by other major issues.
So, maybe you could try to find out a few things: Why does she want to be bi? What does she think it'll do? What is her point in it?
Maybe before you can worry about her being bi, you need to help her solve some of the other problems that have been going on for a longer time. By trying to solve the problems that have brought about the suicidal temptations, etc.
And always remember to pray pray pray. Too many times we as humans turn to prayer as a last resort, when it should really be our first. With God all things are possible. With God, your friend can get better.
Like I said. I have been working with her for a long time on all of these issues. She doesn't even want help. Its been a losing battle for me all the way...or so it seems. I know that if I am doing my part before the Lord then that is what counts. Thanks for the encouragement about prayer.
Originally Posted by SCCHarpGirl The thing that stood out for me most was that you said that she "wants" to be bi. Without getting into the whole "is homosexuality/bisexuality something you're born with or is it something you choose?" debate, it seems here like a form of rebellion/experimentation. I've seen tons of people at college go through a bisexual phase and experiment with the same sex, only to revert back to a traditional heterosexuality later.
I understand that you're upset and dismayed by this...you've been by her through so much and I really commend you for that. I would encourage you to continue to be her friend and be there for her--by being that stable good influence in her life you can have more of an impact than you know. You don't have to agree with her decision. you shouldn't agree with her decision. But then you've been here before with her, no? You probably didn't agree with her drug use, either. It's hard to watch someone you care about make a ton of wrong choices, it really is. Be her rock that can anchor her when things get bad, and she will remember it. And pray for her. Continue to pray for her.
Maybe talk to a pastor or someone about how you can best guide her? Or get her to talk to someone who can help her with all these issues. Don't go it alone
First off...I'm not upset. I'm sad and I'm hurt. I don't view her sin as any different than mine. All sins are equal in the eyes of God. I try to look at it that way too. All the other things she does make me just as sad.
About her going through a "phase..." well I hope that all that it is. I know that she doesn't joke around like this or play with something that she doesn't really desire. I don't believe you're born gay...although we are born into sin. We aren't born telling lies and fornicating. Its something that we learn and practice. The reason she is made this choice is because of her lack of "parental guidance." I would like to help her get some kind of counseling if I could...but she lives on the other side of the US and I haven't met her in person. I actually met her on here.
As far as understanding what she is going through and why I found this article that has helped a lot.
http://exodus.to/content/view/219/52/
Its great to know that I have friends here who are there for me and support me. Thank you so much guys! I love y'all!
Answer:
Hey hon. I just finished replying to another similar thread; there's so much of this around lately, it seems.All I can say is again, to be on your knees for her constantly, and show her Christ's love. My best friend is also bisexual, and I know it hurts to watch them fall into that sin. But keep praying, and keep being there for her. Our God is SO big; all things are possible. If you need to talk to someone, feel free to PM me. I'm praying for your friend.