Question:
its a long story so here it is:
My 2 friends were going out for about 5 months and after that the guy broke it off b/c he had jealousy issues. About a month later the guy tries to get back with the girl and she basically says yes. And after a week the guy breaks it off again. than about another month later the guy tries to get back with the girl but this time she says wait cuz i have college apps and stuff but the guy doesnt understand and he starts going around tellin his friends that he's the victim but tells her closest friend that he messed up. And when the girl found that out she gets mad and they get into an arguement. And after awhile the anger cools down and they girl tries to make things rite and she says lets just be friends and the guy agrees. However the guy tries to make it look like he's the victim by posting crap on his myspace etc. Now the girl feels stupid that she tried to make things better.
I dont kno wat to say to her to help her and make her feel that its not her fault. wat would you say? anything will be of help.
Answer:
Well, from what you posted, it sounds like she is in the right and the guy is in the wrong; it also sounds like it isn't her fault. She shouldn't feel stupid, because it sounds like she has acted the most mature between the two of them. I don't know what she can do to stop this guy from spreading lies, except by approaching him.
Answer:
Making things right shouldn't necessarily mean that they should be bosom buddies again, though. It doesn't seem like he is willing, so really, nothing she tries will make things "right."
Risk of going past friendship I'm afraid.
Answer:
Originally Posted by jengoesup Well, from what you posted, it sounds like she is in the right and the guy is in the wrong; it also sounds like it isn't her fault. She shouldn't feel stupid, because it sounds like she has acted the most mature between the two of them. I don't know what she can do to stop this guy from spreading lies, except by approaching him.
yes i told her that but she doesnt seem to get that fact.
Answer:
Originally Posted by H.M. Murdock Risk of going past friendship I'm afraid.
plz explain a little more
Answer:
Originally Posted by plzhelp plz explain a little more I believe what he is saying (not 100% sure) is that it's going to be tough for them to be "just friends". He's still going to be thinking of her as a girlfriend, and trying to get her back.
It sounds to me like the guy's got to understand that he blew it with her, and to act like more of a gentlemen next time.
The girl has to understand that it's not her fault, a lot of guys are jerks and just don't get it.
Answer:
Originally Posted by PLzhelp yes i told her that but she doesnt seem to get that fact. Then I don't think there's really much more you can do. Like wjarmusch said, she's just got to wake up to the fact that there's nothing wrong with her actions.
Answer:
Originally Posted by wjarmusch I believe what he is saying (not 100% sure) is that it's going to be tough for them to be "just friends". He's still going to be thinking of her as a girlfriend, and trying to get her back.
It sounds to me like the guy's got to understand that he blew it with her, and to act like more of a gentlemen next time.
The girl has to understand that it's not her fault, a lot of guys are jerks and just don't get it. Those are two of the three options, as I see it. A third is also that you get into a relationship because you are smitten. Then you see them as fallible, become disillusioned, get annoyed and decide to hate the person, or at the very least dislike them with extreme prejudice. Of the three options, only the second (realize he blew it and be a man about it) is really a good one, but the first and last seem to happen. The first usually leads to the third, after a few repeats of the first.
Answer:
Originally Posted by H.M. Murdock Those are two of the three options, as I see it. A third is also that you get into a relationship because you are smitten. Then you see them as fallible, become disillusioned, get annoyed and decide to hate the person, or at the very least dislike them with extreme prejudice. Of the three options, only the second (realize he blew it and be a man about it) is really a good one, but the first and last seem to happen. The first usually leads to the third, after a few repeats of the first.
but i think the persons real question is that wat to say to her. am i rite?
Answer:
Originally Posted by burningtr33 but i think the persons real question is that wat to say to her. am i rite?
well anything rite now would be of help.
Answer:
Okay.
1) It's not her fault.
2) There isn't a lot the OP (original poster) can do beyond saying that.
Words are cold comfort and rarely live up to the care and power we put behind them when we really try to do some good. This girl needs to know that it is not her fault, and she needs to be very careful and mature about this guy; I will not say he's a loser, because I am a loser too. But he needs to grow up. And so does she.
Answer:
Originally Posted by H.M. Murdock Okay.
1) It's not her fault.
2) There isn't a lot the OP (original poster) can do beyond saying that.
Words are cold comfort and rarely live up to the care and power we put behind them when we really try to do some good. This girl needs to know that it is not her fault, and she needs to be very careful and mature about this guy; I will not say he's a loser, because I am a loser too. But he needs to grow up. And so does she.
thnk u