Question:
There's this girl that I was dating for a few months, and it basically seemed to be a perfect relationship. We never really did anything through these few months other than hugging, holding hands, arm-around-the-shoulder sort of thing. The thing is though, she was always hesitant to kiss me or do anything like that.
And so then she just flat out says that she isn't able to kiss me, and she loves me as a friend, and she wants to be my friend. For the record the not-being-able-to-kiss me is emotional not hygienic.
And so basically I'm pretty devastated. Yes, I'm only 17, I know, but (while I obviously never told her this) she had all the characteristics of someone that I'd want to spend the rest of my life with (and I was even toying with the notion of proposing after high school and waiting until after college to get married).
I mean, I know that again, I'm only 17 and probably very naive. But right now I feel like I've lost something huge.
So I guess my question...do you guys think that there is more than one person for every person to fall in love with / marry? Am I being stupid for thinking about marriage this young? Any advice on being friends with her after the fact?
Sorry this is a little bit jumbled, but so is my head.
Answer:
do you guys think that there is more than one person for every person to fall in love with / marry?
I think that one of the main things we sort of lose about marriage, mainly due to the emotional involvement of it, is the fact that it is a relatively practical thing. Here's what I personally believe: You're only going to marry one person, but there is more than one person out there that's suitable for you to be married to. God will provide, and if you pray about it and seek where you belong in his work on earth, He will allow you to meet the girl you are going to marry.
Am I being stupid for thinking about marriage this young?
No. You're not stupid for thinking about marriage.
Answer:
Sorry to hear that Flyguy.
So I guess my question...do you guys think that there is more than one person for every person to fall in love with / marry?
I'd agree with Rainer on this one.
Am I being stupid for thinking about marriage this young? Not at all. There's nothing wrong with wanting to get married. The point of dating/courting...whatever you want to call it, is ultimately to prepare for marriage. For that reason, I personally don't think dating young is a good idea - you can't get married when you're 13 or 15.
Even 17 is probably a little too young. But having said that, I started dating when I was 18 and now I'm married to that man....
Any advice on being friends with her after the fact?
Sorry to say it, but it's very very unlikely that you'll be friends. Maybe you'll be civil with eachother, but don't expect to be close or to spend time together. The awkwardness will stay for a long time.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Flyguy There's this girl that I was dating for a few months, and it basically seemed to be a perfect relationship. We never really did anything through these few months other than hugging, holding hands, arm-around-the-shoulder sort of thing. The thing is though, she was always hesitant to kiss me or do anything like that.
And so then she just flat out says that she isn't able to kiss me, and she loves me as a friend, and she wants to be my friend. For the record the not-being-able-to-kiss me is emotional not hygienic.
And so basically I'm pretty devastated. Yes, I'm only 17, I know, but (while I obviously never told her this) she had all the characteristics of someone that I'd want to spend the rest of my life with (and I was even toying with the notion of proposing after high school and waiting until after college to get married).
I mean, I know that again, I'm only 17 and probably very naive. But right now I feel like I've lost something huge.
So I guess my question...do you guys think that there is more than one person for every person to fall in love with / marry? Am I being stupid for thinking about marriage this young? Any advice on being friends with her after the fact?
Sorry this is a little bit jumbled, but so is my head.
You could be me two years ago. Same age, same situation, same type of relationship. Crazy.
I'm going to agree with the previous two people about the first two questions. And on being friends? I hoped for the same thing after my relationship but it just didn't happen. It was very awkward for a long time...even now, two years, it is still awkward. I guess I'm just reiterating what Nomes already said.
Answer:
I understand. Getting dumped sucks. Loads. It's happened to me before.
And it may not seem like it now, but you will get over it. You will move past it. And it will be okay. The places both of you will be in emotionally in a couple years will likely be worlds apart. Eventually you'll meet someone else who will be better for you than this girl ever was. Hard to imagine, but it'll happen. And it'll be okay. Take your time. Time helps. A lot.
Answer:
Thanks for the advice everybody. I know that time will help. I go to a small school though where everybody in our class knows everybody else so we come into pretty direct contact every day.
It seems like everything I do always comes around again. The last girl that I thought I was interested got really attached to me but as I got to know her I realized I didn't really like her as more than a friend. Now it's the same thing except I'm the girl getting done to me what I did to her.
I know that it will work out in the end, but this is a pretty huge let down. Tears have been cried over this, and while I guess that means I was pretty sincere it's not much consolation.
It's cool though...I just have to figure out a way to get past it on my own time I guess. Theoretically my emotional state should be particularly conducive to writing good songs. Maybe that could help.
Answer:
I'm wondering why did you guys go out in the first place if all she wanted was to be friends?I guess she's not ready for all that and never-the-less marriage.I can image how you feel about the beak up but there are other fishes in the sea.Of course you're not gonna forget about her but if this is the end, you have to move on.She's not irriplaceable."So don't you ever for a second get to thinking your irriplaceable"
~Beyonce'
Answer:
Dude, I totally know what you mean about the songs.
Answer:
[quote=Flyguy;2691124]do you guys think that there is more than one person for every person to fall in love with / marry? QUOTE]
Think about this:
if there was only one person that was right for each person to marry, what happens if you marry the wrong person? not only have you screwed it up for yourself, but also whoever you were supposed to marry, and for whoever you did marry (because obviously they weren't supposed to marry you, if you weren't supposed to marry them) and whoever was supposed to marry them and so on and so on and so on.
i think that God has lots of people out there that could be right for us. It just wouldn't make sense any other way.
Answer:
Originally Posted by jael>rock< Originally Posted by Flyguy do you guys think that there is more than one person for every person to fall in love with / marry?
Think about this:
if there was only one person that was right for each person to marry, what happens if you marry the wrong person? not only have you screwed it up for yourself, but also whoever you were supposed to marry, and for whoever you did marry (because obviously they weren't supposed to marry you, if you weren't supposed to marry them) and whoever was supposed to marry them and so on and so on and so on.
i think that God has lots of people out there that could be right for us. It just wouldn't make sense any other way.
hmmm...even if you marry the "wrong" person, it still is in Gods will. I believe that there is ONE person that is the perfect person for us, that God has created to be our missing piece. I would agree that there are a lot of people that could be right for us, but aren't. I would venture to say that this is one of those times...and it really bites. Been there, done that. And at the time i figured my life was over, and I wouldn't find another woman. I'm of course no longer thinking that way. Time is a healer, ALONG with prayer and not dwelling on the situation. If you continue to dwell, it will never go away. Keep your chin up
Answer:
Originally Posted by adamkaboom hmmm...even if you marry the "wrong" person, it still is in Gods will. I believe that there is ONE person that is the perfect person for us, that God has created to be our missing piece. I would agree that there are a lot of people that could be right for us, but aren't. I would venture to say that this is one of those times...and it really bites. Been there, done that. And at the time i figured my life was over, and I wouldn't find another woman. I'm of course no longer thinking that way. Time is a healer, ALONG with prayer and not dwelling on the situation. If you continue to dwell, it will never go away. Keep your chin up
it doesn't really make sense for God to have a person designed just for us if it's His will for us to not marry them. Yes, i do think that some people are better to marry than others, but i think that there are lots of "right" people out there that we can marry.
Answer:
i think you and i will have to agree to disagree on this one i'm not gonna go on with this because this isn't the topic of the thread per se...
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i think your right. sorry about getting off subject .
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Hey, I just got dumped after three and half years. Honestly, it's the toughest thing I've ever gone through. I started dating this girl when I was still fifteen. I'm now nieteen years old. I was planning on marrying her, her dad htought it was a great plan too. Now I'm just trying to figure out what God has for store for me at this time.
"You Give And Take Away
You Give And Take Away
My Heart Will Choose To Say
Lord Blessed Be Your Name
Blessed Be The Name Of The Lord
Blessed Be Your Name"
Answer:
^Awww I'm sorry I'm glad I don't have to go through that at the stage I'm at in life.