Question:
I am in need of some prayer. I think I posted about this kinda a while ago, but some things have changed and w/e, so here I am again.
Well, there is amazing girl at my church, she is most definitely a strong Christian, she is so much fun to be around, and the whole lot. I've had pretty strong feelings for her for most of the last year, and often times, I think to myself that she likes me. It's kinda hard to tell though, cause is she is kind of flirty type. Not in a serious way, but the little signs by which most people can tell that a girl would like them are just normal things that she does w/ all her guy friends, things like stating that they are going to sit next to someone, randomly giving someone a hug, nudging someone, giving someone "the smile", etc. So I honestly am not sure, though I think she does.
Next comes the logistics of college and life and all that stuff. See, I am 18, she is 17, and we are both going to college next year. She is fairly sure that she is going to this bible college in Florida, whereas I am going to college here in Massachusetts. Then after that even, her life's goal is to be a missionary, whereas I am fairly certain that that is not my calling. I personally wouldn't mind doing that if God called me to, but I am pretty sure that that is not where God wants me to be. I don't want to start a relationship now when the 2 of us will most likely be going our seperate ways for college and then for life afterwards. That is just foolish. Also, right now I am feeling like God wants me to finish up this last year of high school before getting involved in any kind of serious relationship.
So, I guess advice would great, but really I guess that I want is prayer that God would reveal His will, and give me the patience to wait and not jump into something foolish.
Thank you so much guys!
Answer:
Originally Posted by ibanez_dude I am in need of some prayer. I think I posted about this kinda a while ago, but some things have changed and w/e, so here I am again.
Well, there is amazing girl at my church, she is most definitely a strong Christian, she is so much fun to be around, and the whole lot. I've had pretty strong feelings for her for most of the last year, and often times, I think to myself that she likes me. It's kinda hard to tell though, cause is she is kind of flirty type. Not in a serious way, but the little signs by which most people can tell that a girl would like them are just normal things that she does w/ all her guy friends, things like stating that they are going to sit next to someone, randomly giving someone a hug, nudging someone, giving someone "the smile", etc. So I honestly am not sure, though I think she does.
Next comes the logistics of college and life and all that stuff. See, I am 18, she is 17, and we are both going to college next year. She is fairly sure that she is going to this bible college in Florida, whereas I am going to college here in Massachusetts. Then after that even, her life's goal is to be a missionary, whereas I am fairly certain that that is not my calling. I personally wouldn't mind doing that if God called me to, but I am pretty sure that that is not where God wants me to be. I don't want to start a relationship now when the 2 of us will most likely be going our seperate ways for college and then for life afterwards. That is just foolish. Also, right now I am feeling like God wants me to finish up this last year of high school before getting involved in any kind of serious relationship.
So, I guess advice would great, but really I guess that I want is prayer that God would reveal His will, and give me the patience to wait and not jump into something foolish.
Thank you so much guys!
Sounds like you've got it pretty well figured out. I'm the same age as you and in a similar spot...there's this girl, and I think she likes me, but I don't think I should get into anything before I graduate, and then the whole college thing. So I don't really have any advice for you, but I'll pray.
Answer:
Keep on liking her then Nothing wrong with a little flirting LOL.. I wouldn't start any kind of relationship though, just like you mentioned... even if it happened you guys would be forced to be in a long distance relationship, and from experience I can tell you.. those don't really work out too well.
Answer:
Originally Posted by ibanez_dude I am in need of some prayer. I think I posted about this kinda a while ago, but some things have changed and w/e, so here I am again.
Well, there is amazing girl at my church, she is most definitely a strong Christian, she is so much fun to be around, and the whole lot. I've had pretty strong feelings for her for most of the last year, and often times, I think to myself that she likes me. It's kinda hard to tell though, cause is she is kind of flirty type. Not in a serious way, but the little signs by which most people can tell that a girl would like them are just normal things that she does w/ all her guy friends, things like stating that they are going to sit next to someone, randomly giving someone a hug, nudging someone, giving someone "the smile", etc. So I honestly am not sure, though I think she does.
Next comes the logistics of college and life and all that stuff. See, I am 18, she is 17, and we are both going to college next year. She is fairly sure that she is going to this bible college in Florida, whereas I am going to college here in Massachusetts. Then after that even, her life's goal is to be a missionary, whereas I am fairly certain that that is not my calling. I personally wouldn't mind doing that if God called me to, but I am pretty sure that that is not where God wants me to be. I don't want to start a relationship now when the 2 of us will most likely be going our seperate ways for college and then for life afterwards. That is just foolish. Also, right now I am feeling like God wants me to finish up this last year of high school before getting involved in any kind of serious relationship.
So, I guess advice would great, but really I guess that I want is prayer that God would reveal His will, and give me the patience to wait and not jump into something foolish.
Thank you so much guys!
It's pretty rare that a high-schooler has such a mature outlook on relationships. I commend you.
I would have given you the same advice you already gave yourself: if God has you on two totally different paths and you're called to two different states (and in the future, different countries), a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is definitely not a good idea.
The late high school and early college time period is a time when people go through a lot of personal growth, maturing, life-planning, etc. I can tell you that someone I would have considered for a relationship at that time is not someone I would consider now, only a few years later - not because they're bad, but because God's plans for us are more clear now than they were then, and they obviously wouldn't be able to merge.
Continue being friends with her, but try not to let too much of your thoughts or emotions get tied to her. Maybe she likes you, maybe not... just focus on your life and your relationship with God, and everything will work out. I'm sure He has an awesome person planned for you.
Answer:
Originally Posted by teena01 Keep on liking her then Nothing wrong with a little flirting LOL.. That just makes it worse though.
Originally Posted by Sunkist It's pretty rare that a high-schooler has such a mature outlook on relationships. I commend you. Thank you. That is one of the benefits of growing up in an extremely traditional conservative Christian household.
Originally Posted by Sunkist I would have given you the same advice you already gave yourself: if God has you on two totally different paths and you're called to two different states (and in the future, different countries), a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is definitely not a good idea. Yeh, it's true. That makes it all the harder though, cause I know I can't do anything about it.
Originally Posted by Sunkist The late high school and early college time period is a time when people go through a lot of personal growth, maturing, life-planning, etc. I can tell you that someone I would have considered for a relationship at that time is not someone I would consider now, only a few years later - not because they're bad, but because God's plans for us are more clear now than they were then, and they obviously wouldn't be able to merge.
Continue being friends with her, but try not to let too much of your thoughts or emotions get tied to her. Maybe she likes you, maybe not... just focus on your life and your relationship with God, and everything will work out. I'm sure He has an awesome person planned for you. Thanks. For whatever reason that was more encouraging than I can put into words. I appreciate hearing another mature Christian's thoughts upon the issue.
BTW, thank you all of you who are praying, this is pretty hard right now.
Answer:
Well, I have no personal experience to offer, but I can make a few observations. Personally, it looks to me that you've already come to a conclusion as to what the best choice would be, but you're grappling with the emotional impact of it. That's the funny thing about us people - we have the logical side, which says, "If she wants to be a missionary, and I want to do this, one of us isn't going to be happy if we pursue this." Then there's the emotional side that says, "She's a nice girl, she's a Christian, and I like her." Eventually, one side is going to win, to the detriment of the other, and life goes on in spite of it.
Do what you feel is right for you, and don't dwell on the negative implications of your choice, look at the positive reasons for why you made it.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Grasshopper359 Well, I have no personal experience to offer, but I can make a few observations. Personally, it looks to me that you've already come to a conclusion as to what the best choice would be, but you're grappling with the emotional impact of it. That's the funny thing about us people - we have the logical side, which says, "If she wants to be a missionary, and I want to do this, one of us isn't going to be happy if we pursue this." Then there's the emotional side that says, "She's a nice girl, she's a Christian, and I like her." Eventually, one side is going to win, to the detriment of the other, and life goes on in spite of it.
Do what you feel is right for you, and don't dwell on the negative implications of your choice, look at the positive reasons for why you made it. Yeh, that sums up pretty well how I feel.
I wouldn't mind being a missionary, really, but I know that God has not called me to that. And there is no way I would want her to give up her calling just so the two of us could be together. I know that her mission work is more important, plus even if we did, I'm sure it would have ramifications down the road.
Answer:
Yeah, if you aren't called to missions and she is... don't get invovled romantically. It won't work out. Trust me. I know it sucks, but it won't. Remember God has it all figured out and you're still really young. Enjoy your last year and dive into God, rather than a girl, despite how great she is. That's what I say...
Answer:
Originally Posted by ibanez_dude Yeh, that sums up pretty well how I feel.
I wouldn't mind being a missionary, really, but I know that God has not called me to that. And there is no way I would want her to give up her calling just so the two of us could be together. I know that her mission work is more important, plus even if we did, I'm sure it would have ramifications down the road.
Life goes on. I think you're going to be fine.
Answer:
Originally Posted by ibanez_dude I am in need of some prayer. I think I posted about this kinda a while ago, but some things have changed and w/e, so here I am again.
Well, there is amazing girl at my church, she is most definitely a strong Christian, she is so much fun to be around, and the whole lot. I've had pretty strong feelings for her for most of the last year, and often times, I think to myself that she likes me. It's kinda hard to tell though, cause is she is kind of flirty type. Not in a serious way, but the little signs by which most people can tell that a girl would like them are just normal things that she does w/ all her guy friends, things like stating that they are going to sit next to someone, randomly giving someone a hug, nudging someone, giving someone "the smile", etc. So I honestly am not sure, though I think she does.
Next comes the logistics of college and life and all that stuff. See, I am 18, she is 17, and we are both going to college next year. She is fairly sure that she is going to this bible college in Florida, whereas I am going to college here in Massachusetts. Then after that even, her life's goal is to be a missionary, whereas I am fairly certain that that is not my calling. I personally wouldn't mind doing that if God called me to, but I am pretty sure that that is not where God wants me to be. I don't want to start a relationship now when the 2 of us will most likely be going our seperate ways for college and then for life afterwards. That is just foolish. Also, right now I am feeling like God wants me to finish up this last year of high school before getting involved in any kind of serious relationship.
So, I guess advice would great, but really I guess that I want is prayer that God would reveal His will, and give me the patience to wait and not jump into something foolish.
Thank you so much guys! I'd recommend staying in touch but not letting it get romantic. In a few years you both may be feeling differently. I wouldn't pursue anything until you knew you are both going down the same road. Otherwise you'll have to break up - always better to not get together in the first place than break up later.
Answer:
If God intends you two to be together, then it will happen. Pray about it, God ultimately knows. He has the best in mind for you, and he knows who your future wife is going to be.
It's hard, I know from expierience, it's very hard. You may REALLY want to be with this girl. But she might not be the one for you. But maybe she is, if so, God will make it happen, as long as you follow what he wants you to do. Everything turns out best when you follow God. Following your own desires without God won't lead anywere good. Don't get me wrong though, It's not wrong to desire, it's HOW we desire thats wrong.
Other than that, you've pretty given yourself as good of advise as anyone can. Your a smart person. Just follow God, and everything will turn out best.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Sith of blades If God intends you two to be together, then it will happen. Pray about it, God ultimately knows. He has the best in mind for you, and he knows who your future wife is going to be.
Everything turns out best when you follow God. Your a smart person. Just follow God, and everything will turn out best.
You know that is great advice
and here's my advice to you, do NOT let your mind be troubled about this, do NOT let it eat away at you. Emotion is a powerful thing(circumstances in my life were very similar)but you have power over your emotion through Jesus who gave you that emotion. The bible says to rejoyce always but how can you do that? how can an obviously bad situation be a reason to be happy?
The answer is simpler than I thought, in Romans 8:28 it says "And all things work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose" this is a promise. God is doing something in you, whatever He is teaching you praise him for it. Thats what I do when I feel depressed and it lifts my thoughts off of my circumstances and on to Jesus who has PROVEN himself faithful every time.
so Ibanez-dude just keep on loving and serving Jesus with your whole heart and God will do something amazing.(And I am praying for you because I can relate to what your going through , so your covered.)
Answer:
Originally Posted by Sith of blades If God intends you two to be together, then it will happen. Pray about it, God ultimately knows. He has the best in mind for you, and he knows who your future wife is going to be. That is really encouraging. Gosh, I need to be hearing this more, like every day. Every time I realize that all over again, it's like the burden is gone for a little while. Thank you. I keep forgetting that God's plan for my life and marriage will happen someday, and He will put the right person in my life, whether I know them right now or not. As long as I keep my eyes on Him, then I will be able to make clear decisions.
Answer:
Would it be really bad if I let her know how I feel?
The thing is, we are moderately good friends as friends go, and we go to the same church and youth group, and we are the senior musicians on the youth worship team, so I can't just ignore her and hope it goes away, cause I need to interact w/ her several times on a weekly basis. I wouldn't think of it, but I feel like there is almost this unspoken barrier between us, and it doesn't feel right.
Answer:
Be patient and listen to God. If you two are meant to be together then God will let it happen on His time. If not then God will give you someone who will blow your mind even more so than this girl you like now. I have personal experience on this because I thought I was in love, and now shes off and engaged to someone else and I have found someone so much better that I cannot believe I even thought I loved my ex. And right now I can see God showing you what you have to do. You already know. Just be patient and pray. I will be praying for you. God is AWESOME! He has someone special for you.