Question:
in a rut. First let me explain a little bit though.
I am a freshman in college going to Northwestern College in St. Paul, MN(A non-denominational christian college). At the end of my senior year in high school, just four months ago, I experienced a fallout in my faith and did some not so good things including drinking and smoking a lil pot. I soon found no joy in either and stopped both. At around the same time I started dating a friend of mine that I'd known since last December. This whole summer I have been separated from God. As college drew nearer I doubted going, but went because I felt I needed to start my college education right away or I'd never have the ambition to go back to school. When I got to school I met a lot of new friends and started to realize that I really needed to come back to God because I have changed from who I was just 4-5 months ago and I don't like how I have changed.
I go to college close enough to my house that I come home on the weekends and work. I see my girlfriend every weekend when I'm home because she is still in high school. Me and my girlfriend haven't went as far as to have sex yet, but we have been doing very inappropriate things that need to stop. I have told her that we need to stop but everytime I'll come back the next weekend and we won't stop. I can't control myself. I think the only way to stop is to break up for awhile until we get right with God and our values, but I want to make it work because she means that much to me. I'm just looking for advice as to how to go about this so things don't become bitter.
Answer:
Stop. don't make excuses. Just stop. If she wants to keep going, make her stop. If she can not handle that, then you will have to deal with that. But just stop. Have some self control.
Answer:
Ive been in the same position and I would say you both should take some time off and let things cool between the two of you.If you do hang out with her, let it be in a public place and keep all physical activity to a minimum.I think that the two of you need to straighten out your walks with God before you proceed in the relationship.
Answer:
I agree with art. You gotta stop, it will destroy your relationship. If you "can't" stop, you need to end the relationship.
Answer:
So, how do I go about telling her this without this relationship blowing up?
Answer:
"I am not ready for this level of physical intimacy." If she can not handle, she is not mature enough for a relationship.
Answer:
You simply have to have enough self control and will power to not do anything inapproriate. If you can't have that level of self control, then don't put yourself in a situation to do something wrong. Stay in public or with family or other people.
EDIT: And to your other problem, just try to calmly explain it to her. Make sure she knows its nothing that she's done, but that you need to be closer to God and you can't do that if you are doing these inapproriate things. Like someone else said, if she can't handle that, then she's probably to immature for a relationship.
I wish you the best of luck, and you have my prayers.
Answer:
thanks for everyone's advice.