Question:
hey,.. i need some guidance
i've read the NIV helps on "seeking God's guidance, and i got a thought popped into my head to ask christianforums, and ask .
i'll explain my situation
there's a girl i've known for almost a year now. (12months)
before, like an hour ago, i was considering dating her, she wanted to date me as well, but i wanted to make sure it was something more than feeling.
i told her that as long as she was there for me, i was there for her.
all is good, untill she tells me that earlier on the day, this guy that likes her gave her a "special" present. a viabrator. and she accepted it. she told me it was because of peer pressure, her friend also got one.
she tells me that the guy's just did it as a joke.. me being a guy, know that that is just superficial.
she's a christian.. who am i to judge.. but bad company does corrupt good character..
so of course, i got scared and really dissapointed (this was over msn) so i blocked her for a few minutes untill i tried to calm myself down.
and then i unblocked her to proceed to talk to her, when she start's regretting telling me and that she knew something bad was going to happen. (she told me this earlier before she mentioned the thing that really shocked me)
she said she's not like that, i believe that, but i have my doubts..
she told me that i have no faith in her.. which is true to an extent.
and now she's barring me.
i've tried forgiving her.. but i will only forgive the way God does.. forgive when you repent.
i asked her to return the gift, and to walk away from that crowd. she said she was going to, and then she started ignoring me.
i'm scared if i just block myself out from her, that she'll become hurt and depressed and maybe suicidal. i care about her alot.
so please.. what should i do?
should we just be friends? stupid as it may seem, i feel we have a connection
Answer:
Originally Posted by Yoda_me07 hey,.. i need some guidance
i've read the NIV helps on "seeking God's guidance, and i got a thought popped into my head to ask christianforums, and ask .
i'll explain my situation
there's a girl i've known for almost a year now. (12months)
before, like an hour ago, i was considering dating her, she wanted to date me as well, but i wanted to make sure it was something more than feeling.
i told her that as long as she was there for me, i was there for her.
all is good, untill she tells me that earlier on the day, this guy that likes her gave her a "special" present. a viabrator. and she accepted it. she told me it was because of peer pressure, her friend also got one.
she tells me that the guy's just did it as a joke.. me being a guy, know that that is just superficial.
she's a christian.. who am i to judge.. but bad company does corrupt good character..
so of course, i got scared and really dissapointed (this was over msn) so i blocked her for a few minutes untill i tried to calm myself down.
and then i unblocked her to proceed to talk to her, when she start's regretting telling me and that she knew something bad was going to happen. (she told me this earlier before she mentioned the thing that really shocked me)
she said she's not like that, i believe that, but i have my doubts..
she told me that i have no faith in her.. which is true to an extent.
and now she's barring me.
i've tried forgiving her.. but i will only forgive the way God does.. forgive when you repent.
i asked her to return the gift, and to walk away from that crowd. she said she was going to, and then she started ignoring me.
i'm scared if i just block myself out from her, that she'll become hurt and depressed and maybe suicidal. i care about her alot.
so please.. what should i do?
should we just be friends? stupid as it may seem, i feel we have a connection
If this girl is a christian then the guy who gave her the vibrator is not. I don't know what kind of jokes they play down there in Australia, but it does not seem like she's hanging out with the right crowd. With the limited knowledge of your friendship with this girl, I can only tell you that you will have a hard time staying sexually pure if you and her start dating. If her guy friends are "joking" around with a vibrator then it shows that sex is on their mind, and hers for accepting the gift.
I really don't know her character and what type of person she is, but all I can say is beware. Sometimes you don't want to hurt someone else's feelings and even try to help them, but in the end you're the one getting hurt and in need of help. Allow some time and distance between the two of you and see how things pan out. Don't be so quick to rush into this relationship. The nice thing about being single is that you have options, and if you think an opportunity will pass you by if you don't react quick enough, then that opportunity was not from the Lord after all.
Answer:
I'm mostly going to touch base on one point first off.
she's a christian.. who am i to judge.. but bad company does corrupt good character.. This seems to be a verse you quote quite often (and out of context if I may say so.) Just because she's hanging out with these people does not mean she is inherently corrupted by them. (It does seem to be the case in this individual scenario but please [url=/forums/showthread.php?t=121770]take a look at my response the last time you posted this idea[url]:
Does the passage in context mean that if you hang around with non-Christians that you are automatically going to be led astray? Or is it a wake up call telling us that this is the natural order of things? I believe it to be the latter. We are to stop blindly following our friends who are in sin and show them the truth about Christ. Which is apparently a problem the Corinthians had in the same situation.
so please.. what should i do?
should we just be friends? stupid as it may seem, i feel we have a connection YES! remain friends. I have known and watched your threads in Advice and D&R since you first started posting here. You still have a lot of emotional maturing to do and currently IMO do not possess the proper mindset nor spiritual maturity to be in a committed relationship. Further, the lack of trust in the girl you have (as portrayed in your post) shows that any attempt at pursuing a romantic relationship would be unhealthy at best. Please, for your sake and for the sake of this girl, just be friends with her. Not one with a condemning attitude (as portrayed in your post) but a loving, understanding, and trusting attitude towards her. As far as the gift itself, yes it was inappropriate for the guy to give and foolish of the girl to accept. That however does not give you the right to hold it against her. She did not sin against you so claiming the right to not forgive her is IMO arrogant and unloving (Love keeps no record of wrongs 1 Cor 13.)
Answer:
Okay thanks for your replies, we've decided to be friends with her, and if it was God's will for us to be together, than it would happen later right?
i think i need to focus my attention on God.
for some reason, when i'm right with God, thing's go well with this girl, and when i'm not.. falling into temptation, my friendship with her mess' up.
do you think this is coincidence, or is it God telling me that if i dwell in him, he will give me the desire's of my heart. (somewhere in psalm's.. 37 i think)
Answer:
Originally Posted by Yoda_me07 Okay thanks for your replies, we've decided to be friends with her, and if it was God's will for us to be together, than it would happen later right?
i think i need to focus my attention on God.
for some reason, when i'm right with God, thing's go well with this girl, and when i'm not.. falling into temptation, my friendship with her mess' up.
do you think this is coincidence, or is it God telling me that if i dwell in him, he will give me the desire's of my heart. (somewhere in psalm's.. 37 i think) hmm sounds like a good idea....that's the right way to go....and that's quite common when you're right with God things are cool with the girl and the opposite....I'm honestly not sure if its God telling you you'll get the desires of your heart....but it may not be her....but you're on the right foot.....