Question:
About a year ago, a very dear friend of mine was unhappy with her life and she decided to end it. At the time, I was sad, but not as sad as I thought I should be. I seemed to have gotten over it way too quickly. But now, a year later, I'm experiencing grief beyond anything I've ever known. I don't understand why I'm getting upset now when I didn't get upset after she died. I can't seem to move past it now. Is there anything I can do to get past this?
Answer:
Ahhh I'm super sorry to hear that.I think it's becasuse you held it in long but you didn't know it and now it's just coming out.well you could pray and just try not to think of it much.Think to yourself and ask "Is this really how I wanna live my life living with grief in my heart" and i guess the rest is up to you.
*I hope you'll be ok*
Answer:
Often with grief, there is a relationship for the time it takes to hit and its severity. If it hits you immediately, chances are that it won't be as severe as if it takes several months.
My wife's grandmother lost her husband of fifty years. It took about 3 months for my wife to get hit by grief, but her grandmother about 14 months. My wife was crushed, but both of us had to talk her grandmother down from suicide.
The first thing you can do to get past it is to actually grieve instead of overanalyzing that you are.
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Death, especially sudden death, can take a while to sink in. Trauma generally does and, well, emotions don't quite make sense. The common assumption is that we just need time, starting at the end of the the person's life until it's done. The problem is, often grief comes later, after the shock has worn off. It's not anything that you did back then, it's just how your mind works. It's nothing wrong; it just happened now.
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I just can't seem to take my mind off of it now. Everytime I try to be happy it just gets worse. Is time the only thing that will heal this?
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Originally Posted by akaukal I just can't seem to take my mind off of it now. Everytime I try to be happy it just gets worse.
Good!! That's as it should be! As was said, don't overanalyze this. That's just a way to hideout.
Is time the only thing that will heal this?
No, time won't heal this. Only grieving will. The only way out is thru. Experience your pain and grief and let it go.
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Originally Posted by CheshireCat Good!! That's as it should be! As was said, don't overanalyze this. That's just a way to hideout.
No, time won't heal this. Only grieving will. The only way out is thru. Experience your pain and grief and let it go. Yeah, he's right. That's what happened with my grandmother too. Just hits me off and on.
Originally Posted by akaukal I just can't seem to take my mind off of it now. Everytime I try to be happy it just gets worse. Is time the only thing that will heal this? Why didn't you tell me Pat? I understand.. I'm just surprised.
I'm really sorry this happened to you. I'm praying
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I have no advice, but I'll be praying for you, Patrick.
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Do you have any access to counselling? That would probably help.
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Originally Posted by KaweenFunee Why didn't you tell me Pat? I understand.. I'm just surprised.
I'm really sorry this happened to you. I'm praying Thanks for prayer.
Originally Posted by jengoesup I have no advice, but I'll be praying for you, Patrick. Thanks for your prayer.
It's gotten somewhat better, but not a lot. I still have the memory in the back of my mind that brings grief to me everyday. Thanks for anyone who is praying.
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Originally Posted by bobthecockroach Do you have any access to counselling? That would probably help.
I've spoken to my pastor about it and a few other people who've delt with losses like this.
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Well I'm glad it's getting better.
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Just try to deal with the grief and pray about it. I'll be praying for you as well. The one verse that gets me through tough times is this one:
"We know that all things work togther for the good of those who love God: Those who are called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28
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Originally Posted by SDA_Bluesman62 Just try to deal with the grief and pray about it. I'll be praying for you as well. The one verse that gets me through tough times is this one:
"We know that all things work togther for the good of those who love God: Those who are called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28
Yeah I like that one. I also like the one about us not mourning like those that have no hope. Can't remember where it is though.