Question:
I have a new girlfriend. I hate the whole " Relationship " idea due to drama that tends to float around it..Thats a different story, though.
Anyway, me and her have gotten far away from God. Me personally, I am use to being extremely close to God..I've fallen away and I don't feel a want to try to be a christian. She told me " Just try one more time, Shawn. I'm going to. " I can't..I don't want to anymore..I mean..I want to..I know I should. I just can't anymore. I've been pushed beyond. Beyond what? I don't know..I just can't try anymore. I'm tired of being the failure..Tired of being what everyone expects. Tired of letting everyone run my life the way they think it should be.
Anyway, we have been somewhat sexually active. We both realized that wasn't right. I still have a conscience. We talked about it and we both agree that sex should be something that we both wait on untill marriage. Thats not an issue anymore..I actually think that it helped me realize that I don't need sex to fulfill anything in my life.
I really care about her and I feel like i'm failing her. I'm dragging her down with me. Yet I feel like i'm failing God. ( Which is more important to me. ) I don't know if I really even have a question. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to end my relationship with her. That wouldn't do anything good for either one of us.
I don't feel like our relationship is whats separating us from God. I feel like my own selfishness is dragging us both down. I try so hard to live a Godly life. Yet somehow I always find a way to screw up. To sin. To feel so bad that I just don't care to try anymore. Whats the point in trying if I can't do it? I can't live a christian life.
Is it because I try to hard?
If thats the case then heres another question. Can you really try to hard? Can you really love God to much? And if I really do love Him why can't I keep his commandments? Why can't I just be happy? I can't..I've tried for years..I've prayed for years..Nothing. Thats what i'm getting.
God has blessed me beyond all meausures in life..I'm thankful. I know its Him blessing me..I just don't get why He would do that..I'm the worst of the worst. I'm only getting worse. My parents are concerned..( Their to hard on me. They don't let me do anything. ) Just to much..I gave up on God..I know thats stupid and I shouldn't but what do you do when God won't answer you? What do you do when God just turns a cold shoulder to you?
I'm sure you will all say..God doesn't do that and give me scriptures on it. ( I know he doesn't. ) Yet everything tells me He is. For once..I believe it.
I don't want to hurt anyone else.
Answer:
Originally Posted by ShawnTheNoob I'm tired of being the failure..Tired of being what everyone expects. Tired of letting everyone run my life the way they think it should be. This stuck out to me. All throughout the rest of your post you talk about how you want to be close to God and how you don't want to fail God. What does that have to do with other people's views on how your life should be?
Instead of viewing people's expectations of you as an annoyance, view it as a promise of support. Your girlfriend, your parents, your friends--anyone who thinks you should be close to God--they should all be willing to help you achieve that goal if it's really what you want.
From reading your post, it sounds like it really is what you want, so don't let other influences dissuade you from that goal.
Just to much..I gave up on God..I know thats stupid and I shouldn't but what do you do when God won't answer you? What do you do when God just turns a cold shoulder to you?
I'm sure you will all say..God doesn't do that and give me scriptures on it. ( I know he doesn't. ) Yet everything tells me He is. For once..I believe it. Actually, I'd like to give you a quote from C.S. Lewis, but you'll have to wait 'til I'm home from school.
Answer:
Originally Posted by ShawnTheNoob
I try so hard to live a Godly life. Yet somehow I always find a way to screw up. To sin. To feel so bad that I just don't care to try anymore. Whats the point in trying if I can't do it? I can't live a christian life. I know you've heard it before.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
You can do it. The bible also says the you won't be tempted beyond what you can bear
1Co 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
We've all felt that way before (at least I know I have). Keep trying, don't give up. Finish the Race. I know it all sounds cliche...no matter what verse I give you or what we say. I guess my best advice is to keep praying, and we'll be praying for you too.
Answer:
Ok, C.S. Lewis time:
These quotes comes from a book called The Screwtape Letters. The book is written as a series of letters from a head, administrative demon (Screwtape) to a tempter demon on Earth (Wormwood). (Your actual beliefs about demons are irrelevent; the book is about people, not demons). Anyway, because of the perspective, the language of the book is extremely odd. "The Enemy" refers to God. The person Wormwood is tempting is referred to as "the Patient" or sometimes, inspecifically, as "the creature."
Here are the quotes (from letter 8 for anyone who wants to follow along at home ):
"Now, it may surprise you to learn that in His efforts to get permanent possession of a soul, [God] relies on the troughs even more than on the peaks."
"He will set them off with communications of His presence which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy conquest over temptation. But He never allows this state of affairs to last long. Sooner or later He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs--to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be."
And, finally, perhaps my favorite quote from the whole book:
"Do not be decieved, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys."
The lesson to learn is this: sometimes to draw closer to God, you have to feel distant.
Check out this passage from Jeremiah 24:
Jeremiah 24:3-7
Then the LORD said to me, "What do you see, Jeremiah?"
I replied, "Figs, some very good and some very bad."
Then the LORD gave me this message: "This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: The good figs represent the exiles I sent from Judah to the land of the Babylonians. I have sent them into captivity for their own good. I will see that they are well treated, and I will bring them back here again. I will build them up and not tear them down. I will plant them and not uproot them. I will give them hearts that will recognize me as the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me wholeheartedly."
If you read on, you'll see that the bad figs (the wicked people) get to stay in Jerusalem. Now, if all you knew of the story was that the good people were going to be taken into captivity and the bad ones allowed to stay in their homes, you'd think that was terribly unfair. Here's the thing, though: the captivity was for the people's own good. Those who get to stay in Jerusalem are destroyed.
Certainly, when the good people were being taken away into captivity, they weren't jumping up and down and screaming "praise God!" In fact, they probably felt like you do. They probably felt like God was giving them the cold shoulder, but it was precisely through this captivity that they were brought closer to God.
If you can endure the times where you feel God is distant, then you will always experience blessing in the end. God doesn't let you go through things because He wants you hurt you. He wants to bless you. Your job is just to stay faithful to Him even when it doesn't make sense or, as Mr. Lewis said, even when "every trace of Him seems to have vanished."
Answer:
What if I failed? I see your point but I have indulged in the most sinful acts of my life recently. I don't feel like I can go back to being the way I once was with God..I'm to far gone. I just can't feel good about it anymore.
Answer:
Originally Posted by ShawnTheNoob What if I failed? I see your point but I have indulged in the most sinful acts of my life recently. I don't feel like I can go back to being the way I once was with God..I'm to far gone. I just can't feel good about it anymore.
God will forgive you always You can always pray and start your life anew. For example, in the parable of the prodigal son. We are the "idiotic" sons who ran away from home. God is like the father. The Dad who still accepts us no matter what we did
Answer:
Yeah. I can't do it.
I want to but i'm just not able to. All I ask now is for prayer..Serious prayer. Not a " God help this kid " but something serious. I need it more then ever.
Answer:
Originally Posted by ShawnTheNoob Yeah. I can't do it.
I want to but i'm just not able to. All I ask now is for prayer..Serious prayer. Not a " God help this kid " but something serious. I need it more then ever.
I'll pray 4 ya
Answer:
Having a little bit of experience in this area, which I'm not proud of at all, I understand what you mean. And i know it's hard to get sometimes, but God will forgive us no matter how 'bad' we sin. There is no sliding scale of sin in God's eyes. This was a massive help for me during my problem. For me, as much as i wanted to try and keep the relationship going, my girlfriend at the time didn't. And to be honest, that was the best thing for that. You might feel that this incident hangs over your head whenever you're with her. So that's my 'advice', hope it helps. And I'll pray for you
Steggz
Answer:
i have to agree with everything everyone has already said and reiterate to you that you are never too sinful or broken for God to have mercy on you. you want that i know and thats wonderful but you have to do more than want it. you have to believe that it willhappen. God is not something that we can explain and neither is His mercy. believing that we have to be good or holy to be a child of His is crap. although he wants us to be good. thats not what he wants most. God isn't looking for someone that will act righteous and talk wisely. God is looking for those that are sick of making mistakes and want a RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. thats the truth of the gospel. God wants those that are sinners and those that are saints to want HIM . once you get back on page with God by letting Him control your life you will see change. maybe it will be slow or maybe it will be dramatic. but it will happen if you want to follow God.
most of all remember that this Christianity thing is about a relationship with a Savior and Father. it isn't about the rules and laws and little other things. although God wants you to live without sin becoming clean over night is not a prerequisite. let Him change you and watch it happen. stop trying to force yourself to be a good person. let God take the wheel and shape you.
Answer:
Shawn,
I want to throw in some comments in response to some things I got out of your posts...
God knows you're not perfect, and that you will never be on this Earth. He knew every mistake you were going to make before you even made them. Did that stop Him from going to the cross and dying for you (the ultimate example of love)? Certainly not!
Please, don't base your relationship with God, or anyone else for that matter, on feelings. Feelings will always come and go. God's love is there even if you don't feel it, understand it, or think you deserve it. Really, none of us deserve it. That's part of the beauty of it though.
Love is not a feeling, it's a commitment. Remember that.
Christianity shouldn't be thought of as some kind of thing that we achieve different levels of. It's a level playing field so to speak. You certainly don't have to achieve a certain level for Him to still love and want you. The truth is the only good in any of us is Jesus.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying grace is a license to sin. It's not.
I am saying that you will screw up in your life again, and again, and again. Don't we all? God's grace is sufficient though. Let Him love you right where you're at.
This scripture came to my mind:
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...0;&version=31;
Please take the time to read that.