Question:
my gf of 2 years has become extremely jealous of anything. the realtionship started out just fine but as we got closer she became more jealous. during the first few months i was a little jealous of her guy friend who always hung around her and would always hug her and stuff and i got over it really fast. but now she doesnt like certain girl friends i have and gets extremely jealous when she even hears them mentioned. weve gotten into huge arguments at least once a month because of this. i never gave her a reason to be jealous. i never talked to the girls over her. i never went out with them instead of her. in fact ive only hung out with these girls like 3-4 times. these girls are christian and we would never do anything. ive shown no interest other than casual AIM conversations. these arguments usually end in her saying she's stupid in getting jealous and ill tell her that she isnt and ill try to make her more comfortable. then shell say no its her fault and shell "get used to it" then shell say something like just hang out with them more and ill get used to it. i in return of course dont hang out with them more because that will just justify her jealousy. i dont desire to hang out with these girls.. they are just simply friends. my gfs jealousy is really getting to me and is becomming a big problem that we cannot seem to overcome. i dont want to break up with her just because of this but i feel our relationship will continue to hurt because of this.
Answer:
It will drain you of your life!! Sounds like you guys both need to take a breather and reexamine where you stand. Try to pinpoint the reasons why she is jealous and work on that. She may be a little insecure?
Prayer also works wonders. IF God has brought you together then God will work it out and he will show you what to do or say. By the way, How old are you both?
Answer:
Being a girl, I can understand that other girls in your life might bother her. But, you're right. . .if you're not devoting a lot of time to them, nor choosing them over her, she should be ok with it. My boyfriend and I both help out with our church's youth group and he spends time there talking to some of his girl friends that he's known for years. It doesn't bother me at all. Sometimes it's irritating if one of the girls likes him and is trying to break us up, but otherwise, I'm ok with it. Because I trust him. It sounds to me like your girlfriend has a hard time trusting people. I think you guys should have a serious talk and maybe you should suggest she talk with a trusted older Christian female about some of the reasons why she's feeling this way. Otherwise, this is going to tear you guys apart and just cuz more problems in the long run.
Answer:
what a coincidence i watched a movie on something like this in my sociology class it said that she is "abusing" you and if it gets to the point were u cant be with ur friends leave her because thats unfair
*choice is up to this was from a movie lol*
Answer:
yea strange thing is weve taken a psych and sociology class together and learned about jealousy in both but yet i dont think she gets it.
Answer:
err acually she understands that she gets jealous she just doesnt know what to do about it. and neither do i
Answer:
Ok, I've been reading this thread but haven't really known what to say, but let me give it a shot:
I think there's a difference between the feeling of jealousy and the act of jealousy. I don't think you can really hold the feelings that enter someone's mind/heart against them. What she needs to focus on is not stopping the feelings of jealous, but not letting them affect how she treats you. That part of it is a choice. Love does not hold us to things that are beyond our ability. We can't prevent the feelings from coming, but we can control what we do with them.
I think the most important thing YOU can do is not make the issue that she's feeling a way she shouldn't feel. The issue is how she acts on those feelings. Ultimately, it is our actions that will determine our feelings in the future. If she continues to trust you even when feeling jealous, I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Answer:
That was very well put. I fully agree with everything you just said. ^
Answer:
thanks that helps alot. i do know that these feelings cant be helped and thats what she told me. but yea it is more her actions and her words that bother me more. im glad that she can tell me that she is feeling jealous but usually she will become very sad and sometimes angry at me. this has been going on for a really long time now and i dont think i can handle it much longer.