Question:
Ok, this may take a while, but here goes.
So i have liked this girl I know for about a little over a year now. We have been good friends for about nine months of that time. I just found out the other day that she had known how I felt for the last six months and, not feeling the same way, she and my best friend went behind my back to try to conceal this from me and act like everything was the same, and they even went as far as trying to think of ways to get me to not like her. After finding this out, I had a nice long chat with my best friend about why he would hide that from me for six months, but I have yet to talk to her, which he doesn't want me to do. What should I do? Should I talk to her, which I think i should, or would it be better to just let it go away? If I should talk to her, what do I say and how do I bring it up so as to make it not sound angry but more confused?
Answer:
Did the two of them date? Your post is slightly fuzzy in that thought. If they didn't then I would say it almost sounds like they were trying to protect you (misguided as their intentions were.) I mean, the girl doesn't like you as a future boyfriend, so she tries to get you to not like her in a concealed manner. It really does sound good on paper. She works out some sort of crazy, Daffy Duck plan to get you to simply give up on her and there's no messy conversation about how she just doesn't feel that way about you. Granted, it didn't work and that's why I say their motives were highly misguided.
This whole scenario is of course barring any extra circumstances that may have caused her to think she needed to go this route.
I say go and talk to her. Tell her how you understand her intentions were good but you'd rather in the future that she was just upfront with you.
Answer:
To answer your question, no, they have never gone out.
That's what I want to do, but then I am not sure what to say. Like I said, I don't want to express anger, because I am not angry, just disappointed. Also, should I keep liking this girl?
Answer:
Originally Posted by GuiTarDudE89 To answer your question, no, they have never gone out.
That's what I want to do, but then I am not sure what to say. Like I said, I don't want to express anger, because I am not angry, just disappointed. Also, should I keep liking this girl? It sounds pretty fruitless to KEEP liking this girl. I mean, look at the measures she went through to get you NOT to like her. Why don't you just try saying what I summed up my last post with?
Answer:
For the most part that was what I was planning on saying. The whole situation just feels so awkward, and almost surreal. Its weird
Answer:
So, your best friend and a girl you like went behind your back to figure out how to get you to not like her. I've done something similar, oddly enough. My rationale was that it wasn't my place as the girl's confidante to tell my friend how she felt. She told me in trust that I wouldn't reveal things to him, so I didn't. My relationship to my best friend didn't trump my word to her. As for planning something behind his back, well, I haven't done that, although I can understand the reasoning behind it.
Yes, my friend was rather upset at me when he found out that I had kept something from him, but ultimately he determined that it really wasn't my place.
Talk to him and to her about things. It's the only way to resolve the issue, and be reasonable while making yourself clear - irrationality makes conversation next to pointless.
Answer:
Originally Posted by GuiTarDudE89 So i have liked this girl I know for about a little over a year now. We have been good friends for about nine months of that time. I just found out the other day that she had known how I felt for the last six months and, not feeling the same way, she and my best friend went behind my back to try to conceal this from me and act like everything was the same, and they even went as far as trying to think of ways to get me to not like her. Sounds like you've got a good friend who wanted to spare you some heart ache.
Originally Posted by GuiTarDudE89 After finding this out, I had a nice long chat with my best friend about why he would hide that from me for six months What did he have to say?
Originally Posted by GuiTarDudE89 but I have yet to talk to her, which he doesn't want me to do. What should I do? Should I talk to her, which I think i should, or would it be better to just let it go away? I really don't see a point in talking to her. All it would do is bring about uneccesary frustration on both sides. Just let it go.
Originally Posted by GuiTarDudE89 Also, should I keep liking this girl? What would be the point?
Answer:
Yeah, I guess that all makes sense. It's just frustrating.