Question:
My girlfriend and I have comprimised greatly in the past in the area of sexual purity. We are still virgins but only in the technical sense of the word. Neither of us is happy or satisfied with with this ("technical virginity"), and I'm haunted by the memories and shame of it all. It's been hard for me to experience forgiveness. What should I do? What should we do as a couple?
Note, we experienced a "reality-check" recently and have really done well in this area since then. But (at least for me), this feels unresolved.
Answer:
First, being a techinical virgin isn't the most important thing anyway. The most important thing is being pure in God's eyes. The thing is that this is impossible by our own effort. Whether you've gone all the way or never even held hands, it's impossible to be pure in God's eyes by your own effort. The ONLY way to be pure in God's eyes is to be made pure by Jesus. The only way to get that is to ask for it.
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Notice that He doesn't just say He will forgive our sins. He will also cleanse us of unrighteousness. You could also say He will cleanse us of impurity. If you confess your sin and ask God for forgiveness, you will be made pure in His eyes. That's what really matters!
Answer:
another thing is 1 cor 7.
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Sin always feels unresolved if it's not delt with properly. Have you sought the forgiveness of your gf and God? Have you been glorifying God through your relationship lately?
Answer:
Originally Posted by bobthecockroach First, being a techinical virgin isn't the most important thing anyway. The most important thing is being pure in God's eyes. The thing is that this is impossible by our own effort. Whether you've gone all the way or never even held hands, it's impossible to be pure in God's eyes by your own effort. The ONLY way to be pure in God's eyes is to be made pure by Jesus. The only way to get that is to ask for it. I understand that, but it's still saddening to think how much we've comprimised.
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Notice that He doesn't just say He will forgive our sins. He will also cleanse us of unrighteousness. You could also say He will cleanse us of impurity. If you confess your sin and ask God for forgiveness, you will be made pure in His eyes. That's what really matters! Thanks. A mentor of mine talked about this verse when I talked with him about this too.
Originally Posted by BillSPrestonEsq another thing is 1 cor 7. Are you saying we should get married? We're not in a position for that yet (19 and full-time students).
Originally Posted by Blade84135 Sin always feels unresolved if it's not delt with properly. Have you sought the forgiveness of your gf and God? I've taken it before the Lord but I don't feel like it's not yet completely resolved with my girlfriend. It hurts both of us. I mean, the wounds are still tender. Does healing come from mutual confession and repentance or with time first? Can I experience God's forgiveness without first experiencing hers?
Have you been glorifying God through your relationship lately? I'm not exactly sure what you mean by this.
Answer:
I am saying Biblically, it sounds like the two of you should get married, ASAP.
there are a lot of pop-christian excuses to not do that, but frankly. Its usually a case of the word of God versus conventional wisdom.
Think about it. There is a lot that can give.
Answer:
I've taken it before the Lord but I don't feel like it's not yet completely resolved with my girlfriend. It hurts both of us. I mean, the wounds are still tender. Does healing come from mutual confession and repentance or with time first? Can I experience God's forgiveness without first experiencing hers?
From my experience it takes time. Time with living pleasing lives. It still hurts because we feel like we 'owe' something to God. Well we can't pay him back for our sin. Healing comes with both confession and repentance. Learn from your sin and put it behind you and you will feel God's love.
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p.s. What I mean by glorifying God through your relationship is: Are you being true to your Christian walk personally and as a couple? If God appeared before you and confronted your relationship, would he be pleased?
I'm sorry if I'm not making sense.