Question:
So I know this is going to seem like a very general question, but I'm willing to just see where it goes. How do you "guard your heart" (ref. to proverb 4:23, "above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life") in a dating relationship? (Obviously, don't spill your life story on the first date).
But is guarding your heart just a matter of the amount of information disclosure? It has to be more, I think.
So what I'm asking mostly is, what does that verse mean to you and how do you apply it?
[It just occured to me today that after dating for 1 year, the guarding my heart thing is getting harder as more time passes in the relationship]
Answer:
I've always liked Proverbs 4:23.
I've always looked at it as a way of saying, "Watch closely what you let into your heart."
In Deutoronomy, we are told that God's commandments are to be on our hearts (6:6). I would say that what's on our hearts is what's most important and dear to us; the things that we think about and dwell on. The heart reflects who you are (Proverbs 27:19 - As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man.)
In a relationship, I would say that this would involve not letting the relationship become more important to you than your relationship with God. This could incorporate not telling your life story on the first date, not getting overly attached, etc. Also, make sure that your heart is in line with God's - ask Him to create in you a pure heart (Psalm 51:10). This may involve surrendering the relationship to God. It means that you should follow whatever God calls you to in regards to the relationship, which includes everything that He calls us to in Scripture.
May God teach you how to guard your heart.
Answer:
Originally Posted by I>conquer In a relationship, I would say that this would involve not letting the relationship become more important to you than your relationship with God. This could incorporate not telling your life story on the first date, not getting overly attached, etc. Also, make sure that your heart is in line with God's - ask Him to create in you a pure heart (Psalm 51:10). This may involve surrendering the relationship to God. It means that you should follow whatever God calls you to in regards to the relationship, which includes everything that He calls us to in Scripture. Agreed, in general.
It seems like this is a big thing to define. I don't think it can really be uniform. *shrug*
I'd say that guarding your heart is a way of saying that you are:
Shrewd
Discerning
Mature
God-loving
Prayerful
Among other things. Now, it doesn't mean that that is your personality. It means that you make the effort to be mature in what you do or say- that you measure your thoughts and words. It means that you don't leave things to chance or to nature, but struggle to think, say and do what is right. Knowledge of these things starts in scripture.
Answer:
Hi. It is very possibly inappropriate of me to be responding to this. Who am I to be telling people how to interpret and apply the bible to their lives? But this is something that bothered me for a long time when I was a christian, and bothers me a lot now, and so I will answer your question.
1. What does it mean to "guard your heart" in the first place?
I think it means exactly what the passage says it means:
20 My son, pay attention to what I say;
listen closely to my words.
21 Do not let them out of your sight,
keep them within your heart;
22 for they are life to those who find them
and health to a man's whole body.
23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.
24 Put away perversity from your mouth;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead,
fix your gaze directly before you.
26 Make level paths for your feet
and take only ways that are firm.
27 Do not swerve to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.
I do not think you can take that one sentence apart from its explanation in the subsequent verses and apply it to a situation for which it was never intended in the first place (namely, dating).
2. What doesn't it mean to "guard your heart"?
It does not mean to never take risks in a relationship. It does not mean to never put yourself in a position to possibly get hurt or get your heart broken. It does not mean to never "disclose too much information to your significant other". Quite frankly, relationships do not work if you are not willing to make yourself vulnerable. That goes equally for the romantic and the unromantic sort. You cannot expect to be loved by somebody if you are not willling to love them. And you simply cannot love someone if you are not putting a bit of yourself on the line. Nowhere does the bible even imply that we are not to do this. I am tired of seeing people running away from any sort of vulnerability or risks in a relationship in the name of "guarding their heart".
Answer:
Well, Proverbs is generally a collection of individual sayings, so it's not necessary correct to interpret in that manner. That said, vulnerability is even a part of the love commanded in 1 Corinthians 13, so... I'd say it definitely does NOT mean to avoid risks and vulnerability.
Answer:
thank you for all the good responses. I think ea. brought up good points. To comment on the issue of not equating "guarding your heart" with invulerability, I would like to add one of my most favorite quotes from C.S. Lewis:
"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entaglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
Answer:
Which brings up another interesting question: How do you find the line between guarding your heart and guarding it too closely? I've been wondering lately if maybe I've been guarding it too fiercely,and am in the slow-going process of possibly letting it go a little and putting it out there. How do you know when it's okay to let down the guard a little?