Question:
Hello all, this is my first time posting on this forum (although I've read quite a lot). It's just...I need some guidance, a lot of it, and I haven't been able to find what I'm looking for on here yet.
OK so, a bunch of things have been happening in my life, but basically, let's start from the beginning so you'll understand.
I was brought up in an Italian Roman Catholic family, but no one ever really instilled strong faith in me. I used to be a 3 year old atheist (i.e. at the age of three i felt this way), and then I got the wrong sort of faith, I felt like God was a figure who was destined to give me eternal damnation. Only punishment. So for a while, I've been living half not believing/half believing in an unforgiving God. During this time, my mom has been making me go to our church, and to worsen the situation I felt like everyone at the church was speaking a lie. It just seemed...so unreal. How could everyone possibly believe in this stuff??? Surely if I said anything like "I believe in God" everyone would say I was absolutely crazy. So, we've got three problems here: a.) I don't believe in God b.) If he exists, he's unforgiving and gonna damn me to hell and c.) people will think I'm crazy.
So finally, after being confirmed in the roman catholic church (parents forced me to) I completely resigned myself to atheism. I thought, no more with all of this religious crap (please pardon my french), it's a lot better to not believe and be free of damnation. Unfortunately, I became acutely afraid of death, sunk into a sort of depression, felt like something might be missing, etc etc. I eventually got around to a religious argument with my best friend (well, actually a series of them over a couple of months) and I basically changed my mind and found christ. Which has been a huge relief, I've been finding more and more love the more I look for it, He is amazing indeed.
I have always felt strange about talking about religion with other people, but for some reason I simply cannot talk about it unless it's online, even now. If i even start talking about something related to god, my breath catches in my throat, I choke up or I get red and I simply can't talk without feeling extremely uncomfortable.
I mean...is it that I think that people will think I'm crazy for believing in God?
Or is it that I really haven't converted, but I've fooled myself into believing in God...which means that I think I am crazy, and thus I can't speak anything about God because my subconcious knows it is not "true" or "valid"?
Just...wow. Maybe my friend is right, I am overthinking the problem. Maybe I should just sit back and let God come to me. I guess he will find me, right? Please tell me what I should do, I feel very lost
(and if you have any other reasons why I could be feeling this way, please tell me)
Answer:
[/quote]I eventually got around to a religious argument with my best friend (well, actually a series of them over a couple of months) and I basically changed my mind and found christ. Which has been a huge relief, I've been finding more and more love the more I look for it, He is amazing indeed.[/quote]

I am very happy for you that you have found Christ. Thats a Great first step!
[/quote]I have always felt strange about talking about religion with other people, but for some reason I simply cannot talk about it unless it's online, even now. If i even start talking about something related to god, my breath catches in my throat, I choke up or I get red and I simply can't talk without feeling extremely uncomfortable.[/quote]
Hey.. thats no problem. I know alot of times I have problems talking to people about my faith because of my lack of knowledge of the Bible. I am afraid of saying the wrong thing so usually I keep quiet about things and then get back to them later when I can go to my Bible and find out what I need to say. It may just take time. Read your bible and maybe try and get into a Christian study group. That will help alot.
[/quote]I mean...is it that I think that people will think I'm crazy for believing in God?[/quote]
I know its hard but sometimes you just have to let other people think what they are gonna think.
[/quote]Or is it that I really haven't converted, but I've fooled myself into believing in God...which means that I think I am crazy, and thus I can't speak anything about God because my subconcious knows it is not "true" or "valid"?[/quote]
.. that.. see you go back, Study the Bible and learn as much as you can so that you know what you KNOW.
[/quote]Just...wow. Maybe my friend is right, I am overthinking the problem. Maybe I should just sit back and let God come to me. I guess he will find me, right? Please tell me what I should do, I feel very lost [/quote]
Open the book of John in the New Testament and read that . I think that will help you. In reading I am sure you will start understanding more. You really cant just wait on God to come to you... you have the Bible. You need to start to read it. Its kinda like if you see a new person and you think "Hey, I would really like to be their friend"... Well if you dont talk to them (Prayer) and learn about them (read the Bible) .. then how are you gonna meet them? I am sure if you Pray and start reading the Bible you will "hear" God talking to you.
[/quote](and if you have any other reasons why I could be feeling this way, please tell me)
and please, dont' denounce me as some lost heretic or faithless heathen or whatever...i'm just trying to seek god is all. and very confused.[/quote]
Keep seeking!!!
Answer:
Thanks for the advice! I have been reading the bible quite a bit and praying as well...perhaps I am not reading or studying correctly. Maybe I should give more attention to what god is trying to say to me.
Answer:
There are all sorts of resources online that can help you study. I would check them out!
Answer:
Talk to yourself about God until you feel comfortable doing that. Then start with a pastor or someone who certainly won't think you're silly. Then move to friends and family. Then move to all the world.
Answer:
Hi there, Jen,
First let me say how happy I am for you. I hope that you'll come in time to see just how much of a blessing it is for us to be able to have a relationship with God.
When I read your 1st paragraph, I was reminded of a story my priest at home told of his childhood picture of God...as God holding him over the pits of hell by one hair...while holding a pair of scissors. (he then of course went on to say how far this is from the truth...)
I totally relate about having a difficult time verbalizing. I'm having that exact same issue, though not with my faith but with another area of my life. Here are some tips for you.
1. You don't HAVE to be the type of person who comes out and says "PRAISE THE LORD" after everything good happens, or "it was meant to be" at all times. A lot of very excellent and strong christians practice their faith through less verbal means. This is okay. Speaking the right "Catch phrases" isn't the be all and end all to being a good Christian.
2. Hanging out with other Christians who are comfortable talking about their faith will do wonders for you. Absolute wonders. Because we are influenced by who we hang around, we unconciously take on the speech patterns of those close to us. Not to mention hanging out with strong intelligent christians will help your own walk with Christ. You can get this by getting involved with an outreach or ministry, or by a youth group, or whatnot.
3. The $64,000 question..."Will people think I'm crazy for believing in God?". Sure, some will. There are intolerant people all over the world who think their viewpoint is the only one and that anyone who believes differently is a moron. YOu'll have to deal with these sorts of people, i'm not going to lie to you. But that doesn't change that many of the greatest minds in history have been Christians, and devout ones at that. It's certainly not a "Crazy" thing to believe in God. If you're really unsure i'd recommend talking to some Christian scientists. Not like Tom Cruise, the other kind. You'll find that it's perfectly possible to justify Christianity with science and worldivews.
4. Prayer. I cannot, cannot, cannot emphasize this enough. NOTHING will help you grow closer to God than prayer and scripture readings. Pray from your heart, pray through reading scripture, study God's word and get used to relying on him and speaking to him. This will help so much for you. I have a couple excercises that I vividly remember from being taught ways to help being able to pray better...PM me if you're interested.
6. Get a spiritual director--some older adult, maybe an elder/pastor in a church, who can guide and help you and give you advice. It'll help to have someone to be accountable to and who can give you good advice and counsel.
I have more thoughts, but this is all that is on the boarder of coherant at 1am
You are in my prayers, my friend, and I hope that your journeys draw you ever closer to Christ,
Noelle
Answer:
oh, d'oh...i forgot...about the "Crazy" comment I'd totally recommend the song "Fool for you" by Nichole Nordeman...because that really expresses it well, I think.
Answer:
I'm somewhat confused by your post, but that's just me, lol. I'm not sure if you meant you still believe it or not, but God is not going to damn you to Hell if you are His child. Biblically speaking, even, it shows that He is a comforter, the Prince of Peace, etc., though, it is true that many do try to show Him only as that. He is also a judge, and is fair, no matter how cruel it is to us. People also try to say He is only that. The truth, though, is that He is both. He loves us beyond any love we can imagine. He loves people who are saved, and those who aren't saved. Problems arise when people distort His image to others (or to themselves). And it's really unfortunate for the people who never hear His name. In all honesty, I don't know why that happens. We just have to accept it, because it's His universe. The beautiful thing is, though, that you have heard about Him, and from what I read, you accepted Him. Sharing our faith is always hard, no matter who you are. Faith is one of the most important aspects of our relationship with God. Humility is another. You have to accept that people will think you're crazy, though you don't have to do it alone. Ask God for courage, and ask Him to help you accept it, and to show you that it doesn't matter what humans think of you if you're obeying God. This is all hard to do by ourselves, which is why we have to rely on Him totally.
It's a scary thing to let go. Humans want control of their lives, and we want to do what we want to do. We are taught from birth how to not embarrass ourselves. I'm not saying to go embarrass yourself in public, but I am saying that if God tells you something, you need to take the risk that you might. More than likely, you will at least once.
Also, God may come find you, He may not, but I echo the suggestions of the others who have posted. You need to find Him, too. He may come to you, sure, but what if He doesn't? You could die tomorrow. Who knows? The best thing to do would be to ask Him for forgiveness, assurance of salvation, and I'd also recommend asking the Holy Spirit for guidance on how to pursue a relationship with Him. A pastor is another person you should talk to. I hope it all works out for you, and that the Lord shows His power and beauty to you
Answer:
Also, God may come find you, He may not, but I echo the suggestions of the others who have posted. You need to find Him, too. He may come to you, sure, but what if He doesn't? You could die tomorrow. Who knows? The best thing to do would be to ask Him for forgiveness, assurance of salvation, and I'd also recommend asking the Holy Spirit for guidance on how to pursue a relationship with Him. A pastor is another person you should talk to. I hope it all works out for you, and that the Lord shows His power and beauty to you
Actually, I never thought about it that way...I was always under the impression that if you came to Him, He would come to you?
(and no, i don't believe that god is going to damn me to hell)
Answer:
Originally Posted by jengoesup Actually, I never thought about it that way...I was always under the impression that if you came to Him, He would come to you?
(and no, i don't believe that god is going to damn me to hell)
Okay, I just misread. But I mean, if you come to Him, He'll come to you. It's just that if you wait around for Him, you don't know if He'll come to you again. If you've heard about Him and such, I'd assume that's the first contact thing. I'm pretty sure I mistyped what I meant, so yeah, lol. You're right about that if you come to Him, He'll come to you, but yeah... I think I mistyped my message. Gah. Can someone point out what I put in wrong? Sorry, dude, I think I'm not helping much.
Answer:
I know this probably isn't the best solution to this problem, but as for myself, when I doubt and question the core tenets of my faith, I take great comfort in the fact that many other, more intelligent humans than I are themselves Christians.
Answer:
Well sweetheart here are some things that will really help you.
1. Don't worry about hell or damnation. The church has some pretty screwed up teaching in this area, especially the Catholic Church. I can give you a ton of stuff on this but the short of it is this God is Mercy and God is Just, There is not mercy in eternal suffering and there is not justice in it. The only way and I mean only way that someone can live eternally is in and through Jesus, there is not other way. Although the lake of fire is a real place as scripture says, there is no where in the Bible that says people will be tortured there for ever and ever...its just not there. Now many churches would have you believe that God does that but they have not scriputure to prove it. If you are interest I can walk you through all the verses so you can see for yourself. Anway I will give you this one
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Truly He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall lay anything to the charge of God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he condemning? It is Christ who has died, but rather also who is raised, who is also at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, "For Your sake we are killed all the day long. We are counted as sheep of slaughter." But in all these things we more than conquer through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
(Rom 8:31-39)
2. Many, many Christians are scared and even terrified to share their faith. This should not be. I can help you very easily completely and totally overcome your fear with 3 different things. just email me if you would like info on that imigin@shaw.ca