Question:
I've been having some issues with my self-esteem lately. Does anyone have any advice? I let small things affect me sometimes. I'll I'll begin to think "Is him/her mad at me?" when some friend might not IM me when we're online or someone else might not tell me hi in the hall (which everyone's usually in a hurry, so that isn't bad) or I might not be on someones top 8 on myspace. Small things like that. I feel like I have no friends sometimes over stupid things like that even though I know it's not true. Little things like that really affect me. Am I just overly sensitive? Any help?
Answer:
Oh yeah, and sometimes I feel like I'm just not good enough as a person. I'm not in good enough shape, I'm not friendly enough, etc. And somedays it just seems like the world is out to get me. Now this isn't too often, but it bugs. And I think that sometimes, about the friend thing, I'm guilty of not being friendly to my friends but it's usually because I'm feeling shy and I don't want to say the wrong thing or come of as weird or something.
Answer:
No real advice here, but I'll be praying for you. I'm often in the same boat, and it stinks. Having friends who remind you of the truth is good. They bring up Scripture I don't want to hear but need to.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Kenny C. Oh yeah, and sometimes I feel like I'm just not good enough as a person. I'm not in good enough shape, I'm not friendly enough, etc. And somedays it just seems like the world is out to get me. Now this isn't too often, but it bugs. And I think that sometimes, about the friend thing, I'm guilty of not being friendly to my friends but it's usually because I'm feeling shy and I don't want to say the wrong thing or come of as weird or something. Everyonce in a while I'll deal with that. I personally realize that I can't always go on what I feel. Sometimes I feel that I am not good enough as a a person....then I realize that I don't have to be perfect, I just have to be myself and follow God with what I have, and I realize I've come so far.
Sometimes I feel that way too, but physical shape doesn't matter as much as personality. But we aren't always going to say the right words, but we can try to be nice people. Don't worry too much about being shy, if if comes out wrong, then it comes out wrong and it'll either be funny or they will understand. But you can't hold back for fear of failing.
Usually when I feel down like that, I look around see how much God has given me all my friends, passions, family, talents, etc. And then that usually brightens up my spirits.
Answer:
I imagine your friends care about you, but life these days is really busy. Dont worry too much about it. If you feel bad about things though, lean on God more. He provides you with everything you need and that includes friends.
I find that it helps a whole lot to work out. It makes you feel better about yourself. And if you already feel bad about it, then if you started and did it for a while you feel oh the more so better about it in the end. I think the best thing that you can do though is to draw closer to God.
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I should preface this post by saying that I really don't have the slightest clue what I'm talking about, so you can feel free to ignore me.

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Maybe they're saying the same thing because you aren't IMing them or saying hi to them in the hall.
A quote that comes to mind is, "You can keep a bird from flying over your head, but you can keep it from building a nest in your hair." If you know these things are not true, don't think about them. When the thoughts start coming into your head, redirect your mind to something else. You will not be able to keep all bad thoughts from entering your head (see above quote). What you can do though is not dwell on the bad things and do some definite good things (someone said working out; doing some sort of service activity would also be good).
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Oh yeah, and sometimes I feel like I'm just not good enough as a person. I'm not in good enough shape, I'm not friendly enough, etc. And somedays it just seems like the world is out to get me. Now this isn't too often, but it bugs. And I think that sometimes, about the friend thing, I'm guilty of not being friendly to my friends but it's usually because I'm feeling shy and I don't want to say the wrong thing or come of as weird or something.
This is something that I have been working on and won't go away in a week or even a month. It will take some time. Just keep working on not worrying what other people think of you.
Answer:
Hi Kenny. I have a few suggestions that you can try that can’t hurt, and might help – so it’s worth a try, right? Some of this might not apply to you at all, but it's all worth thinking about.
First, think of at least one thing about yourself that other people like. Maybe something as simple as your kindness, thoughtfulness, sense of humor. If you have friends whom you can share this with let them help you with your list. Write them down and put it in the front of your Bible. Remember to thank God for these wonderful qualities that He has given you when you pray for more self-confidence.
Try to keep a positive attitude when people do talk to you. When someone asks “how are you?” smile and say “great”. You are great, you are a chosen child of God! People are much more inclined to stay around and talk to a person who is generally positive.
Be careful not to be critical of others. There’s an old saying “The girl who can’t dance says the band can’t play”. Sometimes when people feel insecure they make themselves feel better by talking about other people. Of course, this says more about you than the person you are talking about. Try complimenting people instead. The kinder you are to others, the more pleasant you are to be around.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes and screw up. If you walk away from a situation and you aren’t happy with how it went, think about what you could have done or said differently. Learn from your mistakes, and turn it into something positive.
Be careful not to be too aggressive. Being assertive can be a very good thing, but sometimes people with low self esteem compensate by being rather aggressive. Don't get angry next time you feel as if you aren’t being heard, but do speak up and share your opinion. Stay calm and collected.
I will be praying for you, Kenny
Mrs. M.
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Would it help if I put you on my Top 8? Seriously......
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Originally Posted by MtlMom Hi Kenny. I have a few suggestions that you can try that can’t hurt, and might help – so it’s worth a try, right? Some of this might not apply to you at all, but it's all worth thinking about.
First, think of at least one thing about yourself that other people like. Maybe something as simple as your kindness, thoughtfulness, sense of humor. If you have friends whom you can share this with let them help you with your list. Write them down and put it in the front of your Bible. Remember to thank God for these wonderful qualities that He has given you when you pray for more self-confidence.
Try to keep a positive attitude when people do talk to you. When someone asks “how are you?” smile and say “great”. You are great, you are a chosen child of God! People are much more inclined to stay around and talk to a person who is generally positive.
Be careful not to be critical of others. There’s an old saying “The girl who can’t dance says the band can’t play”. Sometimes when people feel insecure they make themselves feel better by talking about other people. Of course, this says more about you than the person you are talking about. Try complimenting people instead. The kinder you are to others, the more pleasant you are to be around.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes and screw up. If you walk away from a situation and you aren’t happy with how it went, think about what you could have done or said differently. Learn from your mistakes, and turn it into something positive.
Be careful not to be too aggressive. Being assertive can be a very good thing, but sometimes people with low self esteem compensate by being rather aggressive. Don't get angry next time you feel as if you aren’t being heard, but do speak up and share your opinion. Stay calm and collected.
I will be praying for you, Kenny
Mrs. M. I agree that is great advice, and sometimes we can't rely on what we feel but hold on to what we know.
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I used to feel as though someone didn't like me until the proved otherwise, which was often an impossible task. How could someone that I felt was simply tolerating me say, definitively, that they actually enjoyed my company? Presently, my view is the opposite, that someone likes me until they've proven otherwise. I've found that that generally gives me more confidence to give someone the benefit of the doubt when they do something that could be interpreted as anger at me. How you get there is unique to you, but perhaps that would be a good goal in mind.
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Thanks for all the advice people. It helped.
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Originally Posted by Kenny C. Thanks for all the advice people. It helped. Hey that's great, if you have anymore questions go ahead, God Bless!
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Originally Posted by Kenny C. I've been having some issues with my self-esteem lately. Does anyone have any advice? I let small things affect me sometimes. I'll I'll begin to think "Is him/her mad at me?" when some friend might not IM me when we're online or someone else might not tell me hi in the hall (which everyone's usually in a hurry, so that isn't bad) or I might not be on someones top 8 on myspace. Small things like that. I feel like I have no friends sometimes over stupid things like that even though I know it's not true. Little things like that really affect me. Am I just overly sensitive? Any help? I have borderline personality disorder, and I deal with this all the time, while low self esteem to some point happens to everyone at some point in their life, I tend to overanalyze every little thing from why someone didn't smile at me, or why my friend stop talking as soon as i walk into the room, and then I tend to think that everyone hates me and doesn't want to be my friend, and that I'm all alone. One thing that has helped me, is that I know even if my friends, family and everyone around me fails me, God never will. God made you in his own image, and you are fearfully and woderfully made. God doesn't make mistakes and you were not a mistake. God has a purpose and a reason for you being alive. God deems you worthy, therefore you don't ever have to question that. Isn't great to know that a God that loves you so much, sent his son to die for you, so that you could fulfill that purpose. He gave up everything for you, because he loves you. He's the ultimate friend, you are in his top eight, he always has time to talk to you, and is always there waiting for you. Your friends will fail you, but He never will. Don't compare yourself to to others around you, because God made you to be the only You. No one else can be you. God made you just the way he wanted you. Don't you think that God who created the entire world and every thing in it, is big enough to creat you exactly as he intended?