Question:
i would ask people at my church,but they would know who i'm talking about...anyway,my best friend is a christian, and i believe that she has asked Jesus into her heart, but that's all!she's not trying to change her old ways, which aren't bad,really, she just has a huge temper and is always so wrapped up in material things,she disrespects her parents, and is ALWAYS pointing out the sin in everyone else's life.i'm thinking pride is her biggest problem along with being very judgmental, but i don't know how to approach something like that...and i feel she's always pointing out the 'speck of dust' ,but could that be just me 'ignoring the wooden plank in my eye'????help please!
Answer:
i wish i could give you a solution, but i've learned from past experiences that usually only God can cause someone like that to realize how wrong it really is. i'm one of those people who has to have a huge 'fall' in order for God to get thru to me (mainly b/c of pride), and it doesnt matter what people say if i dont want to listen. if she's like that, it may take either an extremely hard talk from you or another close friend, or only God can get through to her. maybe i'm totally off track here, so if anyone else has better advice, listen to them sry i couldnt help more!!
Answer:
I know how you feel. Be thankful that the Lord has given you that conviction. He wants you to know that you're not perfect before you share anything with her. I just went through this with my closest Christian sister about a year ago. It takes some time for people to grow spiritually. So, don't worry about her faults. Everything that you listed in the post above: "she's not trying to change her old ways, which aren't bad,really, she just has a huge temper and is always so wrapped up in material things,she disrespects her parents, and is ALWAYS pointing out the sin in everyone else's life.i'm thinking pride is her biggest problem along with being very judgmental," Forget about all of it. Every single fault. When I was going through this with my close friend, Amanda (you can read about her in my blog), God showed me a few important things in His Word.
1. You can not change her. So don't even think of trying. Only God can change her. So, pray for your friend! Philippians 2:13 says "for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure." Only God can put a desire in her heart to be willing to please Him, and then to actually do it.
2. Because you can't change her-what can you do about it? You can love her. Let her see the love of Christ in you. After all, you are her friend. If you can't make her do her part, then you do your part. Proverbs 17:17 says "A friend loves at all times..."
3. How do you love her? Let's look in the Bible. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a says "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails..."
So...
a. Love suffers long- notice that this is the first on the list! Patience! She's not going to change overnight. Don't expect her to either, she's imperfect-just like you and me. So, wait for her...trust that God is working. And wait...
b. and is kind- Be kind! Always speak sweetly and show love in your actions.
c. love does not envy- Now, you know that she's not jealous of you, or vice versa. But this is still important. Jealousy absolutely devours relationships. I speak from experience on this one. So, never envy if you want a friend.
d. love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;- Don't be prideful and think that you're waayyy ahead of this girl. We're all in the same boat, we all need Jesus. I'm sure you understand that part very well.
e. does not behave rudely- Even when she totally twists your nerve with all that gossip, never say anything you'll regret. When she judges the sin of others, bring her back to the cross. Say something like "Yeah, she may be struggling, but isn't it wonderful that the Lord died for her anyway? I'm so thankful for the cross. The Lord really loves us sinners. I mean, think about it, my sin put the Lord Jesus on the cross! Isn't it wonderful that He did this for you?"
f. does not seek its own- Don't do this for yourself. Do this for Christ, and for the sake of your friend's spiritual growth. Never be selfish enough to just give up on her and walk away. She needs you to show her the love of God.
g. is not provoked- There will be times when she might say something that drives you up the wall and through the roof. Forgive her the moment it happens. If you get angry easily, you won't be much help. Not to mention, you won't be much fun to have around.
h. thinks no evil, does not keep a record of wrongs- God knows your thoughts. Make sure that they please Him. If they don't, pray about it. Also, forget about all of the terrible things that she does. Don't keep a record. You can't forgive without forgetting. Instead, think about all of the nice things about her (Philippians 4:8).
i. does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth- Never laugh at sinful jokes, or at the sinfulness of others. Jesus suffered and died on the cross for that sin! Sin is not a laughing matter. However, always rejoice in the truth. When she shares something that the Lord is doing in her life, stop and ask her to give thanks to the Lord with you for just a moment. This helps a LOT!
j. bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things- This is going to be tough, let Christ be your strength! (Philippians 4:13). Don't be suspicious if it seems like she's being dishonest. Let the Lord deal with that. Hope for the best! You know that all things work together for good to those who love God (Romans 8:28), so you know your friend will change, because God has given hope for the best. Have faith! Lastly, endure this. Keep on walking on, through the whole process. Don't let this take time away from your personal time with the Lord. In fact, spend time with Him first. As a Christian, God is the top priority.
k. Love never fails... The Bible says that God is love (1 John 4:16). God never fails. So, trust that He will guide you through this entirely. The battle is not your own. Praise God for that! 1 John 4:11 says "Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another."
4. Trust in God, He is faithful. Psalm 37:3-4 says "Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." If this is your desire, for your friend to grow spiritually, then do what the Word says, don't only hear it, do it.
I am praying for you and your friend. God bless you, sis.
With Christian love,
Answer:
Originally Posted by kira850 i would ask people at my church,but they would know who i'm talking about...anyway,my best friend is a christian, and i believe that she has asked Jesus into her heart, but that's all!she's not trying to change her old ways, which aren't bad,really, she just has a huge temper and is always so wrapped up in material things,she disrespects her parents, and is ALWAYS pointing out the sin in everyone else's life.i'm thinking pride is her biggest problem along with being very judgmental, but i don't know how to approach something like that...and i feel she's always pointing out the 'speck of dust' ,but could that be just me 'ignoring the wooden plank in my eye'????help please! Maybe if you were to talk privately with one of your youth leaders, (providing you go to youth group together) and get them to focus in on a few special devotions for a while. Such as the speck and wooden plank in the eyes you mentioned, or a devotional or two about anger and love of material objects. Basically there are two things you can do: VERY diplomatically give her scripture to show her error, and pray for her. HOWEVER, If you do confront her about it, whether through youth group devotions or whatever, make sure what you are saying is biblically sound (this is where the help of a knowledgeable youth leader comes in handy). That way you're not to blame if she gets offended and angry. (Which I have to warn you now, is highly likely).
Answer:
Originally Posted by guitargirl12889 i wish i could give you a solution, but i've learned from past experiences that usually only God can cause someone like that to realize how wrong it really is. i'm one of those people who has to have a huge 'fall' in order for God to get thru to me (mainly b/c of pride), and it doesnt matter what people say if i dont want to listen. if she's like that, it may take either an extremely hard talk from you or another close friend, or only God can get through to her. maybe i'm totally off track here, so if anyone else has better advice, listen to them sry i couldnt help more!!
Well, she can't just sit around and do nothing to help herself and expect God to somehow suddenly "jump in" and "lead her back" to Himself. She's going to be provoked by either the Bible, or a friend's advice, or a memory of some sort. Her friend has to encourage her to read her Bible, or call her out and hold her accountable in as gentle or blunt a fashion as she deems neccessary, to get through to her. She may realize her shortcomings on her own in private, but that doesn't mean God just mysteriously overtook her and led her back. She's going to have to come across something to change her perspective somewhere, be it the Bible or a person.
Answer:
just try talk it out to her. tell her about the life she could be living adn how awesum its gonna be and ask your christian friends to help you and help pray for her peace out God will make it all work out