Question:
I've been dating this guy for a month and a half now...I really love him to death, but theres something bothering me and I want some advice. Before we started dating he hung out with these four girls all the time...even dated one...but had a crush on another right before we started dating. he tells me he loves me and that he would never "like" another girl while we are dating, but he sends her messages all the time on facebook...more then he does me...and i'm somewhat jealous. what do ya'll think i should do? i'm trying to protect my heart from being broken again
Answer:
Have you talked to him about it?
Answer:
Originally Posted by PaidInFull Have you talked to him about it?
well he took me out to dinner the other night at the restraunt this same girl works at...and i talked to him about it then...about how i was worried and all. of course he reassured me that nothing would ever happen and that he loves me.
Answer:
are you asking him to not have other girls that he hangs out with?? maybe he gets along better with girls. being a girl, i know that i get along better with guys and have more guy friends than girl friends. my boyfriend had a problem with it but then he really thought about me and him and us and if he really did trust me enough. so i think what i'm asking is do you trust him? if you trust him, do you trust him enough to not hurt you?? its also been only a month and a half...not long at all. did you know eachother long before you were dating?? if so, then you know what he's like with his girl buds. hang in there and ask God for the strength. i'll be praying for yall
Answer:
Originally Posted by MudDuck88 are you asking him to not have other girls that he hangs out with?? maybe he gets along better with girls. being a girl, i know that i get along better with guys and have more guy friends than girl friends. my boyfriend had a problem with it but then he really thought about me and him and us and if he really did trust me enough. so i think what i'm asking is do you trust him? if you trust him, do you trust him enough to not hurt you?? its also been only a month and a half...not long at all. did you know eachother long before you were dating?? if so, then you know what he's like with his girl buds. hang in there and ask God for the strength. i'll be praying for yall
i've known him for 4 years. he dated one of my best friends a year and a half ago. i do trust him as far as having girl friends...its just this one girl that makes me extremely jealous. i think its the way they look at each other and have pretty much the same kind of sense of humor. i've had a ton of bad/abusive relationships in the past...and this guy is the first totally awesome christian ive dated and i want it to work out so bad...its just so scary knowing that he's got me in a position where he could really break my heart. he tells me all the time that i'm the love of his life...and that he's always loved me...i guess its just going to take time for my trust to build.
Answer:
Originally Posted by thegreenblob i've known him for 4 years. he dated one of my best friends a year and a half ago. i do trust him as far as having girl friends...its just this one girl that makes me extremely jealous. i think its the way they look at each other and have pretty much the same kind of sense of humor. i've had a ton of bad/abusive relationships in the past...and this guy is the first totally awesome christian ive dated and i want it to work out so bad...its just so scary knowing that he's got me in a position where he could really break my heart. he tells me all the time that i'm the love of his life...and that he's always loved me...i guess its just going to take time for my trust to build.
Well, you dont know me from anywhere, but i will tell how i and my "girlfriend" have gone about dating. We have know each other 4 years, just like you and your boyfriend, but only recently in the past 8 months have we persuded a relationship. and we set boundaries for ourselves. No holding hands, hugging, dating, just simply getting to know each other while around friends at youth group and with family. We have even questioned could we be in Love, but we realized it is too soon for us. So what i am suggesting is that you check yourself, how can you fall in love in a month? How can a guy is dating what sounds like a lot of girls, always have loved you? obviously yes there will be doubts and jealousy, but jealousy is good to an extent of being protective. Make sure he is a stronger christian guy than you are. never sell yourself short. women are the crowning jewels of God's creation, not to be treated poorly.
Ryan
Answer:
Sounds like he's not worth your time. If he can't commit to you alone, you shouldn't give him the time of day. Get rid of him and tell him to come back when he grows up. You deserve better.
Answer:
Originally Posted by thegreenblob he tells me all the time that i'm the love of his life...and that he's always loved me...i guess its just going to take time for my trust to build.
It bothers me quite a bit that he's telling you you're the "love of his life" and that he's "always loved you" after only a month and a half of dating. It seems like he's either a) not being serious, or b) being much too serious. I'd bet on a, personally.
Answer:
trust is earned not given.. and i don't think your bf is trying real hard to earn your trust.
even though you've known him for four years prior to your relationship now, it's not enough to assume you know him already... bf/gf relationship is very different from just plain, platonic friendship... there's intimacy (and i'm not talking about the physical)... you share each others thoughts, dreams, wishes, plans for the future, quirks, goofiness, seriousness.. etc. etc.
you said you've already told him your feelings... if he loves you then he would be conscious about being respecting your feelings.
Answer:
What we say here isnt going to make your mind up on trusting him or not.
We can share our point of veiws but does not mean they are correct.
You know him much better then any of us.
You have to come to a place in your heart where you can decide if hes trustable.