Question:
I had somebody steal 20 dollars out of my wallet at home today. I hate to say but it had to have been my brother. My parents wouldn't steal money from me. I left my wallet on the dash of my truck in the yard where I always park and thought it would be safe because we live secluded from other people so nobody is coming in my yard. My brother was home all day while I slept (I work at night remember) I got up and took a shower and was going to get something to eat and when I got in my truck I couldn't even find my wallet. I looked for a good bit but found nothing. My step dad helped me look and found the wallet behind the seat with everything taken out of it. Whoever took it didn't want me to find the wallet but they are pretty stupid for just throwing it back behind my seat. At least they didn't take my credit card. I'm just sorta stunned that my own brother would steal from me. But it's not like I didn't see it coming. My brother that shall remain nameless has stolen jewelry (200 dollar watches and a gold ring) and my playstation 2 just to sell them and make money. I know this because I asked the people I saw with my watch on and they said they bought it from my brother. My playstation 2 was just given to one of his friends. This is just the surface of what my brother does. He tries to fight me in public when he doesn't get his way. He tries to intimidate me to give him money. He will only try me when other people are around. He expects me to be afraid of him and when I tell him I'm not that goes off in his head that I want to fight. You can not be afraid of somebody and still not want to fight. I told him I'm not going to let him push me around anymore and he literally told me that he would kill me if it came down to it. He will take up for his friends before he takes up for me. I got in a fight one time with a guy and I could handle myself but other guys jumped in and proceeded to kick the crap out of me and my brother stood there and did nothing because the boys beating me up were his friends. I buy food for him all the time and other stuff and then he says that I never do anything for him. He lies about everything and then when confronted with it he once again reverts to trying to kick my @$$ every time. I'm to the point right now that I almost wish he wasn't my brother. He treats everybody in my family likes this. He thinks because of his size (6'5" 350lbs) that he can push people around and make them do what he wants. And if he gets in your face you will back down from him. The other day when my mom told him to get a job or get out of the house he got mad and wanted to hit me because I agreed with her. He's 21 years old and has a baby on the way with his girlfriend and still lives at home with mom. He has never had a Job more than a week and spends all his money on drugs and alcohol. We have kicked him out of the house before but he just breaks in anyways. We have to put locks on every door and hide anything of value with the fear that he might try to steal it and sell it. So I really don't know what to do. Neither does my mom. He's really become a major burden on all of us at home. What should we do. The only way to get out of it for me is to move away and not tell him where I live. Because I had a problem where I used to live where he came to where I live and I let him sleep on my couch one night and ended up staying a month and eating all of my food and my roomates food. So what do I do to handle this????
Answer:
Wow man, I will do my best to pray for you. Secondly, sorry to be a jerk, but would you be able to split your post up a bit? It's quite hard to read as is.
I think you should talk to your Mum and tell her that she should ask him to leave the house. If he refuses or comes back, call the police. It sounds like it's been waiting to happen. A friend of mine recently went through a similar situation where his Dad was forced to kick his half brother out. He felt bad, but it was really the only thing to do and it had been a long time coming.
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Yeah I'd agree with bread. There has to be a line drawn or eventually he will become too much for you. You have to take some action to let him know he's not the "top dog" and so that he might realize his place a little more.
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Originally Posted by bread man I think you should talk to your Mum and tell her that she should ask him to leave the house. I strongly agree with him. There is no way that you should have to put up with this, even if he is your brother. And maybe calling the police is the only way to put a stop to it. I would say that you should tell him that next time he steals from you or fights you that you will call the police and have him charged with what he's done. I don't think there's anything else you can do. I know that he is your brother and that that's really not what you want to have to do, but...do you really have any other choice?
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I agree with the above. If he won't control himself then someone has to. I would also suggest getting some sort of self defense training, so that if you have to defend yourself against him actually physically harming you, then you can. You might also try calling the police on his friends if neccesary.

Edit: If he's doing illegal drugs that would be something to report.
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Originally Posted by guitarguy I had somebody steal 20 dollars out of my wallet at home today. I hate to say but it had to have been my brother. My parents wouldn't steal money from me. I left my wallet on the dash of my truck in the yard where I always park and thought it would be safe because we live secluded from other people so nobody is coming in my yard. My brother was home all day while I slept (I work at night remember) I got up and took a shower and was going to get something to eat and when I got in my truck I couldn't even find my wallet. I looked for a good bit but found nothing. My step dad helped me look and found the wallet behind the seat with everything taken out of it. Whoever took it didn't want me to find the wallet but they are pretty stupid for just throwing it back behind my seat. At least they didn't take my credit card. I'm just sorta stunned that my own brother would steal from me. But it's not like I didn't see it coming. My brother that shall remain nameless has stolen jewelry (200 dollar watches and a gold ring) and my playstation 2 just to sell them and make money. I know this because I asked the people I saw with my watch on and they said they bought it from my brother. My playstation 2 was just given to one of his friends. This is just the surface of what my brother does. He tries to fight me in public when he doesn't get his way. He tries to intimidate me to give him money. He will only try me when other people are around. He expects me to be afraid of him and when I tell him I'm not that goes off in his head that I want to fight. You can not be afraid of somebody and still not want to fight. I told him I'm not going to let him push me around anymore and he literally told me that he would kill me if it came down to it. He will take up for his friends before he takes up for me. I got in a fight one time with a guy and I could handle myself but other guys jumped in and proceeded to kick the crap out of me and my brother stood there and did nothing because the boys beating me up were his friends. I buy food for him all the time and other stuff and then he says that I never do anything for him. He lies about everything and then when confronted with it he once again reverts to trying to kick my @$$ every time. I'm to the point right now that I almost wish he wasn't my brother. He treats everybody in my family likes this. He thinks because of his size (6'5" 350lbs) that he can push people around and make them do what he wants. And if he gets in your face you will back down from him. The other day when my mom told him to get a job or get out of the house he got mad and wanted to hit me because I agreed with her. He's 21 years old and has a baby on the way with his girlfriend and still lives at home with mom. He has never had a Job more than a week and spends all his money on drugs and alcohol. We have kicked him out of the house before but he just breaks in anyways. We have to put locks on every door and hide anything of value with the fear that he might try to steal it and sell it. So I really don't know what to do. Neither does my mom. He's really become a major burden on all of us at home. What should we do. The only way to get out of it for me is to move away and not tell him where I live. Because I had a problem where I used to live where he came to where I live and I let him sleep on my couch one night and ended up staying a month and eating all of my food and my roomates food. So what do I do to handle this????
Oh man thats tuff, Im guessing since dad isnt mentioned that there isnt one. Im not trying to be mean or anything, but was your brother hurt by dads death/leaving/divorce? Is he older than you? If he is then maybe you should talk to him and tell him that as the older brother he needs to be a roll model, and stop paying for his food etc etc. Hmmm, have you asked your pastor/mentor what to do? Maybe he needs to get a wake up call. Im not sure man, thats so tuff. Maybe he's angry, confused, hurt, uncertain, and unsure of the future. He needs to be seriously thinking about that kid on the way.
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If he weren't so stupid (no offense), I would say to own him next time he tries to be the dominant male and put him in his place. As the youngest of four, I know for a fact that proven physical dominance does a lot. But he sounds like he would just up the ante to weapons if that happened. So. Kick him out and call the police if he comes back. Period. Beyond that, there's nothing you can do. Babying him and letting him live at home only hurts him further.
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Originally Posted by PaidInFull Oh man thats tuff, Im guessing since dad isnt mentioned that there isnt one. Im not trying to be mean or anything, but was your brother hurt by dads death/leaving/divorce? Is he older than you? If he is then maybe you should talk to him and tell him that as the older brother he needs to be a roll model, and stop paying for his food etc etc. Hmmm, have you asked your pastor/mentor what to do? Maybe he needs to get a wake up call. Im not sure man, thats so tuff. Maybe he's angry, confused, hurt, uncertain, and unsure of the future. He needs to be seriously thinking about that kid on the way.
Yeah, my mom and dad divorced when I was 5 and he was 4. I don't know how he feels about it but I know it has given me more problems than I want. He has always been this way. I don't know why. When we were younger I was the one that recieved most of the spankings and lectures. I was a pretty bad kid and he was always quiet. Then he just became this super huge jerk one day out of the blue. We've done the whole kicking out thing before. He almost hit my mom. If he would have done that I don't know what I would have done. I probably would have hurt him beyond what is necessary. I've always been a passivist. I guess I'm the opposite of him. I hate fighting and will not fight if I can find a way to get out of it. The last fight I got in was in middle school. I guess standing up to him is the only thing to do. It's gonna end up in a fight because if you tell him anything he doesn't like he automatically puffs up and trys to make you intimidated. He's told me before if I were to ever call the cops on him for breaking and entering or stealling my car (he's done it multiple times) he'd kill me. I don't put it past him because he is just that far out there. If you people were around him you'd know. I'm not afraid of him Im afraid for my mom and my little sister that live here at the house. I'm still trying to figure this out.
Answer:
Originally Posted by H.M. Murdock If he weren't so stupid (no offense), I would say to own him next time he tries to be the dominant male and put him in his place. As the youngest of four, I know for a fact that proven physical dominance does a lot. But he sounds like he would just up the ante to weapons if that happened. So. Kick him out and call the police if he comes back. Period. Beyond that, there's nothing you can do. Babying him and letting him live at home only hurts him further.
Well the thing is that all his life he has been babied. My granny helped my mom raise us and she would baby us all day long. It hasn't affected me as I know that I have to work to get somewhere in life. But you are right, I may just have to own him one day. I know it sounds like he's so big and I'm so small but I myself am 6' 275lbs. Thing is I know if I hit him once I'd have to knock him out or run because he would not stop once he started on me. I don't want to fight my brother but it's come down to that someone needs to let him know that they won't take his bs anymore. I really don't know what to do. I appreciate the advice breadman and I'd like to follow it but it's just so hard to think of how to go about it.
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I know it's been a few days, but I'm just wondering if anything has changed or if you've been able to come up with any type of solution?
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Hey.. I don't really know how to give advices on this one.. but i just wanted to let u know that i will be praying... I hope u find a solution..
God bless
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Press charges if you can prove he stole all that stuff from you. Kick him out and get a restraining order. It's sad when families have to resort to that sort of thing, but if he's such a threat to members of your family, then the safety of your household has to come before your brother's delusions of grandeur. Kick his @$$ out, get a restraining order, and the first time he comes near anyone, have him locked up.
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Imknow exactly what you are going through.
I am only 16 (almost 17) but my big bro was a big druggie, he was a heroin addict and he stole money, he robbed a convenince store a few times, and stole money from people at school.
He alwasy had lots of big friends (he is 3 yrs older than me) so I could never tell on him or do anything. One day , though, it becamse very bad. He almost OD'd on drugs, so we called the ambulance an dthe police. He went to jail for a while.
But, the story brightens up. He went to rehab for a while, an dhas now been sober for about 2 1/2 years. He is getting his life together.
Sometimes you have to get involved in an extreme way, like my father did, by putting him in rehab. You will feel bad. I was sad all the time, adn pissed off at my dad (I was only 14...), but with time, and a lot of prayer, things will change.
I don't kow if this helped, but, know that another bro in christ went through what oyu are dealing with. I am praying for you, and your bro.
God Bless
taylor
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It sounds like your brother needs a lot of help, and you will be helping yourself and family too, if you press charges, or if you can give him a legal reason to be afraid of hurting you anymore. You really have to be sure it's the right thing to do to call the police, and that you don't wimp out later. But you sound pretty sensible about this so far.
Be brave, you'll need courage. I called the cops on my brother when he became too abusive for me, and it got physical. My mother lied to the police when they got there and my brother did too, to avoid scandal I guess, and he to avoid any jail time or loss of pride or whatever. Also, she's dependant on him in some ways. But he doesn't give me the crap he used to before I called the cops and we just don't get into it like we used to.
He has to want to change himself before he can use any help from anyone else, but you need to take care of yourself and family. You can't be in too much peace having someone stealing your stuff and your money every time they can.