Question:
I'll try to make this simple - I have a friend we will call Jane. I know her from church - she doesn't/didn't go to mine but was part of our church district and I saw her at fellowship events and stuff like that. Jane is a very nice girl.
During camp this year, I felt a burden for her. Jane is a something needy person, although she's very sweet and smart. I don't believe she has ever developed a strong personal relationship with God. I knew that she was going away to college this fall, and I was suddenly moved with sympathy for her. She was dating a guy who wasn't in church, and I realized that these things combined with her oncoming new atmosphere of independance and freedom at school would make it very easy to lose out with God. I didn't want to see that happen with her. For what I can only hope you believe were selfless reasons, I talked to her for awhile about the choices we make for ourselves and tried to convice her to get closer to God and distance herself from her unsaved boyfriend, so that she could stay spiritualy strong while in a new environment.
She actualy did break up with him, but after she went away to school he came to visit and "things happened" as she says, and they got back together. She tells me she hasn't been to church since she got to school, for several reasons. When we were talking about stuff you do besides homework in college, I jokingly asked "so what do you do?" and she told me that I didn't want to know, and she was a "bad girl".
I talk to her on the phone from time to time, and I feel bad for her. I don't want to see her backslide or grow so far from God, but I don't know how to help. When she was complaining about peer presure, all I could offer was advice about how we need to be our own person, regardless of what others do or say. I try to tell her how we need to rely on God for our confidence and stregnth, and not other people. She responds positivly, but I can't be there the way her bf and her friends at school are.
I like this girl, but I don't have any false expectations. I just don't want to see her lost, she's too good for that. In another time and place, perhaps I could do more. But how can I help now?
Edit: because details are always important in these threads and the first few replies are questions regarding them, I'll try provide some. I'm 21(right now as a matter of fact), she's 18, she goes to school 90 miles away so its not that feisable to visit, her bf is also 18, she thinks he thinks too long term, she is aware of her surroundings to an extent, but I doubt she has learned the self control to make her own decisions, she goes to an all girls school, blah blah blah.
Answer:
I post this only because I know other people will come along with better advice, so it's ok if mine's not perfect.
As I see it, you should be primarily be doing two things. First, share Scripture with her. I DON'T mean to beat her over the head with Scripture or try to use it to force her to change. That's not appropriate nor is it your job. It is the Holy Spirit's job to convict. (I know I'm not telling you anything you don't know, but sometimes reminders are good.) With that in mind, when given a chance, share a verse. God has promised that His Word will not return void. Take Him up on that promise.
Second, be there for her but not in a "ok, what'd you do now," sort of way. If she wants to talk, listen. If she doesn't, don't force it out of her. At the same time, be interested in her. There is something to be said for walking a mile in someone's shoes before criticizing them. Even if she is being a "bad girl," you should try to understand where she's coming from. So, be interested in HER, not just her spiritual maturity. Find out what's on her mind (if she wants to talk about it). Be a good friend. People tend to trust good friends. A good friendship will open the door to do the first thing I suggested: share Scripture.
Third (yeah, I thought of something else), pray.
John 14:12-14
Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father. And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.
You want to help her? Ask God for the opportunity and ability.