Question:
My girlfriend is having problems bigtime.
She feels that God does not hear her anymore.
3 years ago her grandfather had a stroke. He was half paralyzed and she never went to see him because she was scared to see how his life had deteriorated. Before this happened he was her best friend. She could tell him anything and he would understand. But she feels terrible for forsaking him in his time of pain. Then he passed away.
She feels that after he died that God does not hear her anymore. Her prayer life is stagnant , she feels... I guess she feels sorta dirty, if that makes sense...
after that she started cutting herself, and I have been doing my best to help, but I don't know what to do.
I have been praying my hardest for God to give her the strength to stop, just like He gave me the strength to stop my porn addiction.
What do I tell her? What do I do? When she hurts, so do I. How can I get through to her that God is here and sees. That she is the one not hearing (or, at least, I guess that is what is happening...)
please help, and at least pray. Please pray your hardest, because I am scared...
Answer:
Originally Posted by Thrash My girlfriend is having problems bigtime.
She feels that God does not hear her anymore.
3 years ago her grandfather had a stroke. He was half paralyzed and she never went to see him because she was scared to see how his life had deteriorated. Before this happened he was her best friend. She could tell him anything and he would understand. But she feels terrible for forsaking him in his time of pain. Then he passed away.
She feels that after he died that God does not hear her anymore. Her prayer life is stagnant , she feels... I guess she feels sorta dirty, if that makes sense...
after that she started cutting herself, and I have been doing my best to help, but I don't know what to do.
I have been praying my hardest for God to give her the strength to stop, just like He gave me the strength to stop my porn addiction.
What do I tell her? What do I do? When she hurts, so do I. How can I get through to her that God is here and sees. That she is the one not hearing (or, at least, I guess that is what is happening...)
please help, and at least pray. Please pray your hardest, because I am scared... First of all, no matter what show love to her and try to make her feel special and important. I would try to to do something special for her, whether it be with just you or with a bunch of friends, like treat her bowling or take a walk with her, do something that she really enjoys to do (or at least used to), and then afterwards tell her that you care and why you care and that you are always there for her.
Answer:
I understand your concern, but if you'll let me, I'd like to play a bit of a devil's advocate here.
Why are you concerned about her cutting? Why does she have to stop? To be honest until she deals with the issues surrounding why she feels the need and the benefit of cutting, she won't stop. Or she'll stop to please you and find some other *negative* way to cope.
I'd suggest that she needs to work through the grief and guilt she feels over her grandfather before looking at the cutting. I could analyse it to death as to why she might feel the way that she does and why that has affected her relationship with God in the way that is has, but that won't be helpful.
IMO, she needs a place where she can feel and express her emotions in regards to her Grandfather, God and herself.
Katie+
Answer:
-In my prayers-
Answer:
Originally Posted by passinthru I understand your concern, but if you'll let me, I'd like to play a bit of a devil's advocate here.
Why are you concerned about her cutting? Why does she have to stop? To be honest until she deals with the issues surrounding why she feels the need and the benefit of cutting, she won't stop. Or she'll stop to please you and find some other *negative* way to cope.
I'd suggest that she needs to work through the grief and guilt she feels over her grandfather before looking at the cutting. I could analyse it to death as to why she might feel the way that she does and why that has affected her relationship with God in the way that is has, but that won't be helpful.
IMO, she needs a place where she can feel and express her emotions in regards to her Grandfather, God and herself.
Katie+ thank you. You are right, becasue she has been trying to stop, however the reason is becasue she doesn't want me to have to feel teh pain too, for, she knows that I feel tortured emotionally when I see her in so much pain.
please pray for us , though. You said she needs a place to express her emtions, and right now I am the only positiv Christian person who will listen and help. Her parents would not understand (belive me, I know...), and none of her friends really understand it like you have explained it.
And Holy Rock JFreak, thank you also. I have been trying this throughout the past month or so. I have been spending a lot of time with her (I even made a candlelight dinner ) an dit does seem to be helping some. But I don't want her to get to the point where she becomes dependent on me for her feelling s of spiritual renewal. I want her to discover God again.
So please, pray!! I can't stress enough how much it would mean to me, and how much better I would feel, becasue I know that God hears us.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Blade84135 -In my prayers- Thank you so much.
Thank you everyone.
I really feel like crying. I am just so glad that there is somewhere where I can talk to other Christinas about this and have theri prayers uplift.
I really do love all of u guys in Christ
Answer:
Originally Posted by Thrash And Holy Rock JFreak, thank you also. You're welcome, anytime.
Originally Posted by Thrash I have been trying this throughout the past month or so. I have been spending a lot of time with her (I even made a candlelight dinner ) Candlelight dinner. That's a good idea.
Originally Posted by Thrash an dit does seem to be helping some. But I don't want her to get to the point where she becomes dependent on me for her feelling s of spiritual renewal. I want her to discover God again.
Yeah, that is good. Just show her that she is loved and appreciated, and you are to be doing a great job. I wouldn't try to hold back because you think that she might be dependant on you, just show her love and hope.
So please, pray!! I can't stress enough how much it would mean to me, and how much better I would feel, becasue I know that God hears us. [/quote]
Thrash, You are doing a great job, what I would do is find a youth pastor or someone in the church that could help that either you could get advice to or that you and her can go to and talk some of this out. Thrash God Bless you, you're doing a great job.