Question:
how can guys quit lusting after girls?
Answer:
Originally Posted by d9993454 how can guys quit lusting after girls? Well I'm going to be honest....you will technically never stop, we all mess up. But there are some ways to really lessen the amount of times we mess up though.
For example one good way first off is prevention of material that will cause you to lust, for example pornagraphical material whether magazine or movie. Another thing that helped me was to think of girls as people and not objects.
Another thing that could help is to start hanging out with a friend of yours that is a girl and just talk with them, and that will make it real and you will want to talk with them instead of lusting after them.
But most of the time the problem is the mindset. For example, I used to try too hard to not lust, I would end up failing, but when I just didn't worry about it and just thought pure thoughts it really helped. So when I was comfronted with lust it was easier to resist and go away from it.
So here are a few of my thoughts, hope they are helpful, if you want me to explain more just ask.
Answer:
Originally Posted by d9993454 how can guys quit lusting after girls? Theres no magic pill that will make you suddenly stop lusting. If lust is an issue in your life it will be an issue for the rest of your life.
Galations 5:16
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.
1 Corinthians 5:9-11
9I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. 11But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.
1 Corinthians 6:18 (New International Version)
18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.
1 Thessalonians 5:17 (New American Standard Bible)
17 pray without ceasing;
I'm no champion of the faith that has it all figured out, but what I know is that fighting sin is an on going battle. We must constantly FLEE from sexual immorality. Sometimes that means fleeing from a person or a situation. Other times I believe that means FLEEING from your thoughts.
What does this look like?
First off, it requires that you be filling yourself with God's Word as much as possible. I'm a very undisciplined person. Its always been a struggle for me to have a consistant quite time (and probably always will be). But when you fill yourself with God's Word and meditate upon God, that is what the focus of your thought life will be. Along with God's Word, read solid Christian literature that is soaked with God's Word. Listen to sermons and talks that are packed with spirtual truths. Listen to music that edifies your soul. The little things add up.
Similiarly, learn to live a life in commune with God. Make prayer something that fills your life as opposed to something you do before dinner, tests and bed time. I believe its Billy Graham who claims to try and have one continous prayer with God from when he wakes up to when he goes to bed. I'm probably a 99.9999% failure at this idea. I'm not saying its easy. HOwever, just imagine what sort of power would come if you actually had that much commune with God every single day.
On the flip side, if you watch movies and TV shows filled with sex....if you listen to music ladden with sexual content, your mind will linger on these things. You're feeding your flesh with the little things. I can just imagine times where I've spent MAYBE 15 minutes in quite time in a day and then an hour watching Friends (sex joke after sex joke) and then watched 4 episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (all sorts of sexual content)...and then prayed that night that God would remove the lust from my life. Well its very unlikely that God will completely remove LUST from my life. I've never heard of him doing that for anyone. HOwever, what can be removed is these TV shows (that I love) in order that I might purify myself and then fill myself with time in commune with God. I'm by no means promoting legalism, but as someone who struggles in this area, removing as much sexual material from my life really helps. For this reason I think that being as unplugged from the world as is possible can keep you from strugging with lust (obviously this can be taken too far and I"m not advocating a monk lifestyle).
For example, when I went off to Bible college a few months ago I found myself without a TV and I was surrounded by modestly dressed women. Further, my life was filled with spirutually uplifting activities. After about a week it occured to me that I had hardly struggled with lust the past week. Instead of feeding my flesh, I had been feeding spiritual side.
HOwever, the problem is that we can't simply unplug from the world. We are to be apart of the world. I believe this is where we must learn to flee those things that tempt us. If you struggle with internet pornography; get some sort of accountability program or remove your computer from where you can get away with it. Discipline yourself to look away when you walk by a magazine stand or scantly dressed girl. YOu must FLEE anything that will feed your lustful side.
Lust is a lifelong struggle. Its not going to disappear. This side of heaven you (and everyone else) will be plagued with the sins of the flesh. True love requires sacrifice. If you love God and desire purity, maybe that means completely removing certain things from your life; be it TV, movies, music, the internet or certain friends. You must make it not just a daily commitment to flee sexual immorality, but a moment by moment commitment. Similiarly, you must seek after commune with God.
To sum up all I have said (and I know I'm repeating myself)...moment by moment you must flee sexual imorality and pursue God. There is absolutely no magic tricks that can remove lust from your life...well besides killing yourself and heading off to heaven, but I don't endorse that method.
Answer:
Originally Posted by d9993454 how can guys quit lusting after girls?
Only by the grace of God.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Sean Theres no magic pill that will make you suddenly stop lusting. If lust is an issue in your life it will be an issue for the rest of your life.
Galations 5:16
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.
1 Corinthians 5:9-11
9I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. 11But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.
1 Corinthians 6:18 (New International Version)
18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.
1 Thessalonians 5:17 (New American Standard Bible)
17 pray without ceasing;
I'm no champion of the faith that has it all figured out, but what I know is that fighting sin is an on going battle. We must constantly FLEE from sexual immorality. Sometimes that means fleeing from a person or a situation. Other times I believe that means FLEEING from your thoughts.
What does this look like?
First off, it requires that you be filling yourself with God's Word as much as possible. I'm a very undisciplined person. Its always been a struggle for me to have a consistant quite time (and probably always will be). But when you fill yourself with God's Word and meditate upon God, that is what the focus of your thought life will be. Along with God's Word, read solid Christian literature that is soaked with God's Word. Listen to sermons and talks that are packed with spirtual truths. Listen to music that edifies your soul. The little things add up.
Similiarly, learn to live a life in commune with God. Make prayer something that fills your life as opposed to something you do before dinner, tests and bed time. I believe its Billy Graham who claims to try and have one continous prayer with God from when he wakes up to when he goes to bed. I'm probably a 99.9999% failure at this idea. I'm not saying its easy. HOwever, just imagine what sort of power would come if you actually had that much commune with God every single day.
On the flip side, if you watch movies and TV shows filled with sex....if you listen to music ladden with sexual content, your mind will linger on these things. You're feeding your flesh with the little things. I can just imagine times where I've spent MAYBE 15 minutes in quite time in a day and then an hour watching Friends (sex joke after sex joke) and then watched 4 episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (all sorts of sexual content)...and then prayed that night that God would remove the lust from my life. Well its very unlikely that God will completely remove LUST from my life. I've never heard of him doing that for anyone. HOwever, what can be removed is these TV shows (that I love) in order that I might purify myself and then fill myself with time in commune with God. I'm by no means promoting legalism, but as someone who struggles in this area, removing as much sexual material from my life really helps. For this reason I think that being as unplugged from the world as is possible can keep you from strugging with lust (obviously this can be taken too far and I"m not advocating a monk lifestyle).
For example, when I went off to Bible college a few months ago I found myself without a TV and I was surrounded by modestly dressed women. Further, my life was filled with spirutually uplifting activities. After about a week it occured to me that I had hardly struggled with lust the past week. Instead of feeding my flesh, I had been feeding spiritual side.
HOwever, the problem is that we can't simply unplug from the world. We are to be apart of the world. I believe this is where we must learn to flee those things that tempt us. If you struggle with internet pornography; get some sort of accountability program or remove your computer from where you can get away with it. Discipline yourself to look away when you walk by a magazine stand or scantly dressed girl. YOu must FLEE anything that will feed your lustful side.
Lust is a lifelong struggle. Its not going to disappear. This side of heaven you (and everyone else) will be plagued with the sins of the flesh. True love requires sacrifice. If you love God and desire purity, maybe that means completely removing certain things from your life; be it TV, movies, music, the internet or certain friends. You must make it not just a daily commitment to flee sexual immorality, but a moment by moment commitment. Similiarly, you must seek after commune with God.
To sum up all I have said (and I know I'm repeating myself)...moment by moment you must flee sexual imorality and pursue God. There is absolutely no magic tricks that can remove lust from your life...well besides killing yourself and heading off to heaven, but I don't endorse that method. This is good stuff and i agree.
Wenever a thought, image, lyrics, or wat have you start feeding my lust i immediately turn away and i shout out loud "I DONT NEED THIS, GOD FILL ME WITH YOU!!!". I mean you dont have to do wat i do but thats wat i do and it helps me get over it.
Answer:
Originally Posted by OneHope Only by the grace of God. As clique as it sounds, that was the only thing that "worked" for me. I used quotation marks because it's not something I did, it's all God. I don't struggle with it nearly as much as I used to, but it's not because I somehow found the magic formula for how to stop lusting. I had to place it all in God's hands. Seriously, there are time when I'm in bed, and I'm thinking "Dang, I've been struggling against lust for a long time. I really, really wish just for a few minutes I didn't have to struggle against it." I'm basically telling myself that I want to fail. Anyways, the Holy Spirit inside of me is resisting the flesh, and so I pray: "God, I really wish I could just have a bit of fun for just a little bit. I really don't want to make the righteous decision right now. If you don't want me to lust, please, I beg of you, force me to not lust." And every time, I mean every time, I feel better and I am able to not lust because He that is in me is greater then he that is in the world.
Anyways, I hope that helped.
In Christ,
John Kesselring
Answer:
Taking seriously Jesus´ advice in Matt 5:29...
Answer:
MANY SINS TO RESIST
It seems to me that lust is just one of the things (sins) we have to resist. There are about a million others.
In my life one of the major things I had to come to grips with was the question of how badly I wanted to not sin! That is, was my love for Jesus stronger than my sin desire. Once I got serious with Him, resisting became easier. Before that it was relatively hopeless.
IT'S ALL IN THE MIND
I heard a message years ago where the preacher spoke of "standing guard at the portals of your mind". That really hit me. The temptation to sin comes via a thought into our mind. That's where we have to take our stand.
I hate it when a sin thought comes, but ages ago my Grandfather told me: "You can't stop the birds flying over your head, but you can stop them nesting in your hair."
True! And that first thought is almost always temptation, not sin. Sin comes when you embrace the temptation and think some more about it. At that stage, it's probably 'got' you.
I think of resisting the temptation thought like the 'Delete' key on the computer! Delete: it's gone! Like burning's good advice, do whatever you have to to stop the thought from going even one second longer: shout, sing, pick up a book, whatever.
GUYS, LOOKING, LUST
If you're a guy and you're tempted to look then lust after a girl, turn away. The look is probably not sin (unless you deliberately and lustfully look in the wrong place to start with).
However, keeping looking incorrectly can easily enough become wrong and sinful. But the important thing is that it's a matter of keeping the mind pure in the sense of having the right attitude like I said above. What do you want most? - to please Jesus, or sin?
Don't get hung up on lust and lustful looks in the respect that we do still have to live in the world the NT says. But we must take care. We need to be serious - and be drastic if need be. I believe most of us know if we're sinning or not, and it's really not all that complicated: we simply have to CHOOSE to stop.
The moment you do that, the Lord (the Holy Spirit) will rush to help you. Truly!
OzMan
Answer:
Although not every guy will struggle with Lust, statistics say most of us already do.
According to Bill Perkins and Randy Southern co-authors of "The Naked Truth"-sexual purity for guys in the real world, a USA Today health report from 1997 stated that in a study of over 500,000 guys (ages 16-25) nation wide 95% had masterbated and the remaining 5% contridicted them statements during the survey.


Point is: Most guys struggle with lust and although it can be sustained it cannot be fully defeated. The bible tells us that it's our sinful human nature that desires for sin. As long as we're human we cannot be free of sin's temptation. We can sustain the sinning to a minimal but in reality we're all going to screw up more than once the duration of our lives.


*Remember that God is not nearly intersted in what you've done
as he is in who you are. He loves you dearly for being his child, even if you do struggle with sexual sin. And for me sometimes that's hard to believe but if I don't than I say that God is a liar, and I know he's not, Thanks be to God for his overflowing grace that covers all of my sin.
Answer:
Originally Posted by OzMan If you're a guy and you're tempted to look then lust after a girl, turn away.
Run.
Answer:
Well... This is definately something we all deal with. We were created such that our hormones come hard into action long before we have the strength of mind to deal with them, and many of us never even bother trying to learn to control ourselves. Recently I have been struggling with many things about myself, and I won't go into detail here, but one area I feel I have had a win is in my thoughts/actions towards girls. How? Basically, I met a girl I respected, and quickly realised that she didn't deserve to have anybody thinking about her like that, whether she knew about it or not. Somehow I got the strength to change my thinking/actions, and I'm happy to say that so far, it's pretty much working. It's not always easy, but it's definately not impossible. You have to make yourself realise that you CAN clean out your mind with a little determination. I only hope that I can continue, and become stronger, in this area.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Blade84135 Although not every guy will struggle with Lust, statistics say most of us already do.
According to Bill Perkins and Randy Southern co-authors of "The Naked Truth"-sexual purity for guys in the real world, a USA Today health report from 1997 stated that in a study of over 500,000 guys (ages 16-25) nation wide 95% had masterbated and the remaining 5% contridicted them statements during the survey.


Point is: Most guys struggle with lust and although it can be sustained it cannot be fully defeated. The bible tells us that it's our sinful human nature that desires for sin. As long as we're human we cannot be free of sin's temptation. We can sustain the sinning to a minimal but in reality we're all going to screw up more than once the duration of our lives.


*Remember that God is not nearly intersted in what you've done
as he is in who you are. He loves you dearly for being his child, even if you do struggle with sexual sin. And for me sometimes that's hard to believe but if I don't than I say that God is a liar, and I know he's not, Thanks be to God for his overflowing grace that covers all of my sin.
I went through a really good program called "Lust Free Living" its got some really good tips on how to fight off lust.
Answer:
Originally Posted by d9993454 how can guys quit lusting after girls?
If you observe your own thoughts, you'll discover a pattern: lust tempts you the most, and you are most likely to give in to that temptation, when you are bored, lonely, tired, discouraged, depressed, and feeling far away from God. When you are joyful, content, occupied with valuable work, and secure in God's love for you, lust won't even be a temptation. The more pleasure you find in God, the less pleasure you will try to seek elsewhere.
There are various self-discipline-oriented mental tricks that might help you to resist lustful thoughts for an hour or two. But the ONLY lasting power to resist lust (or any other temptation) comes from DELIGHTING IN GOD. Not just mechanical praying, not just memorizing Scripture or otherwise going through the motions, but enjoying God, receiving his love and delighting in who he is and what he has done for you. God commands us to enjoy him:
"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Ps 37:4)
"They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights." (Ps 36:8)
"The joy of the LORD is your strength." (Neh 8:10)