Question:
so yeah I'm like ryan (prev. thread) right now, and would greatly appreciate to hear from the marrieds and engageds... I'm 20, in a dating relationship that is keeping (or at least aiming / trying hard) boundaries (emotional, physical) in check... but the thing that scares me at the moment, I've been dating for about 2 mos. (and I never dated prior to these 2 mos.); whatever feelings I had for him left this week. Like I don't really miss him anymore (I'm not saying such feelings are supposed to be ever and omnipresent), but I used to miss him... I'm not expecting to have "in love" moments all the time, I'm just asking if this is normal, not to feel anything for that person? I guess the thing that is getting to me is that I need to fig. out if this not-liking-him-at-all-ness-beyond-friend is fleeting or not...cuz I don't need to lead him on further or drag it out unnecessarily...
thanks
oh also prob. of importance is that this is a long distance relationship...4 hrs. of sep.
Answer:
2 months is such a short time and, when you throw in the added element of the long-distance relationship, it's likely that you just haven't had time to develop any feelings more than basic physical / emotional attraction towards this guy. Is this a guy you've known for awhile, or just for the two months you've been dating him? If it's just been two months since you met him, I could imagine you wouldn't miss him that much (or even consider him as more than a friend, really)... you haven't had time to develop a deep connection that can create the sense of longing that comes with absence.
You certainly haven't "fallen in" and then "fallen out" of love all within the span of two months... so I'd put those thoughts out of your mind. Just focus on whether you think this relationship is worth pursuing further (is this the kind of guy [kind of guy, mind you, not necessarily the guy] you could see yourself moving into a long-term / life-long commitment with?). If you think it might be worth pursuing further (because there's the possibility that he'd be a match for your long-term relationship ideals, or whatnot), then just give it some time and see how things turn out. If it turns out that six months later you're still not interested in a relationships, I don't think that's going to be too huge of an issue.
Just give it time and don't get worked up about fickle emotional things.
In His love,
Nate
Answer:
Nate thanks for your response there was a lot of good things to chew on...
In response to your questions:
I had known him for 2 mos. prior to dating him. (this was all in the summer, while we were working at a christian camp together)
I wouldn't have started dating him unless I thought there was possibly for long term potential / he has the essential characteristics (mature faith, a lot of patience)
Thank you Nate for your reassurance / encouragement ( If it turns out that six months later you're still not interested in a relationships, I don't think that's going to be too huge of an issue. Just give it time and don't get worked up about fickle emotional things. )--I never know how much weight to give to my emotions. I more at ease about it all--I'm just so paralyzed by fear sometimes (fear of hurting others, disappointing myself, diasppointing God, messing up, etc.)
Originally Posted by Nate 2 months is such a short time and, when you throw in the added element of the long-distance relationship, it's likely that you just haven't had time to develop any feelings more than basic physical / emotional attraction towards this guy. Is this a guy you've known for awhile, or just for the two months you've been dating him? If it's just been two months since you met him, I could imagine you wouldn't miss him that much (or even consider him as more than a friend, really)... you haven't had time to develop a deep connection that can create the sense of longing that comes with absence.
You certainly haven't "fallen in" and then "fallen out" of love all within the span of two months... so I'd put those thoughts out of your mind. Just focus on whether you think this relationship is worth pursuing further (is this the kind of guy [kind of guy, mind you, not necessarily the guy] you could see yourself moving into a long-term / life-long commitment with?). If you think it might be worth pursuing further (because there's the possibility that he'd be a match for your long-term relationship ideals, or whatnot), then just give it some time and see how things turn out. If it turns out that six months later you're still not interested in a relationships, I don't think that's going to be too huge of an issue.
Just give it time and don't get worked up about fickle emotional things.
In His love,
Nate