Question:
i've got...a terrible addiction. you can probably guess what it is, since it's fairly common. i'm feeling guilty about it, but not all the time. i wish i were more convicted to fight it. i am always guilty afterwards. please pray for me, that the weight of my sin will be real to me. yes, i'm a user here, and if you know who i am i guess it's allright if you pm me or something. mods, please don't check my ip address to see who i am.
Answer:
I'm not sure what your addiction is, but I can guess....one of two things. I work with a lot of addicts and have some suggestions for you, but you have to be honest and real. No beating around the proverbial bush. God desires that we be free of bondage and He will give us the tools necessary to do that. If I can help., write back. He is greater than our sins.
Answer:
allright then...i have a pornography addiction. it kills me
Answer:
Yeah, that's a tough one. But first of all, son't be ashamed. That's a trick of the devil. I'm not saying be proud, but look, you aren't the first or last one to experience this addiction. But an addiction is merely that. It's something you think you need. Nothing more. You don't "need" it. You just want it a whole bunch. The internet makes it so easy too. But it also makes it easy to find other sources of "entertainment". What's hard is that God built into us a need to be "satisfied" sexually. Nothing wrong with that. It just needs to be done in the confines of marriage. Pretty easy to say....oh so tough to do. One thing that might help is when you feel the need to peruse pornography, stand up, walk around and pray. Get your mind off it....immediately.
REmember that there are always consequences for our actions.....always.
Maybe not today, but someday. I'm paying now for some addictions of twenty years ago.
REmember that Jesus pretty much said if you thought it, you've done it. God wants you to live in a state of holiness. He never said it would be easy. If you own any pornographic materials get rid of them ....today. Keeping them in the garage or the basement won't help. Trash em.
So whaddya think? Can you do this?
Answer:
*ahem* I am deciding to take a step and post as myself. Masks, disguises, I suppose I should dispense with them and own up to my actions. I would hope that none of you on this forum see me in a different light; that would make me very sad.
The problem is, I've got unrestricted internet access...a truly bad thing. The things I look at, they make me shudder. I almost can't believe I do it. It's sort of like a bad dream.
And worst part of it is, I always have a little voice that tells me "this is wrong, this is wrong, why are you treating yourself this way? Why are you doing this? Why are you taking advantage of God's grace?" And my other half says "oh well", and just goes for it. URGH.
And yes, maybe I'm odd because I'm a girl. And girls aren't supposed to do these things. At least...they are just not very socially acceptable. Seems like every boy on the block has got a problem, but girls just aren't allowed to. Nu-uh.
Anyway...
For a while, I had this conquered. But lately...
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Does anyone have anything to say?
Answer:
Any one who thinks boys have a corner on the market isn't dealing in realities. Unlimited internet is a problem....especially if you're doing "image" searches. It can start pretty innocently, but all of a sudden....whamo! There's an image that won't leave easily.
Like I said, though, don't be fooled. Choices is choices! You have to stop when the idea first hits the mind. Remember this one
James 1:14-15
14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.
15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
That last line scares the h-e double hockey sticks outa me. I don't want to live in a state of death. Maybe it's cause I was brought up Catholic and some things never leave, but James hit it on the nose. Sin (especially this kind of sin) begins in our minds and I know why. Like I said previously, in order to procreate, we have to have desire for sex. God's plan is that we have it monogamously. It is so good that way. It took me forever to figure out that every woman wasn't just for me. Lust isn't love, m'dear....it's just gettin the horny out.
Pray, pray, pray. It isn't possible to have two thoughts at once. Keep your mind on Christ. That may sound boring, but sounds to me like you have a pretty good relationship with Him. Spend a little more time with Him and you'll find yourself really satisfied with life. I promise.
One day, you'll meet the guy who takes your heart and then .....lust all you want ....after him. Sound Good?
Answer:
Originally Posted by whitemtnarmy Any one who thinks boys have a corner on the market isn't dealing in realities. Unlimited internet is a problem....especially if you're doing "image" searches. It can start pretty innocently, but all of a sudden....whamo! There's an image that won't leave easily.
Like I said, though, don't be fooled. Choices is choices! You have to stop when the idea first hits the mind. Remember this one
James 1:14-15
14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.
15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
That last line scares the h-e double hockey sticks outa me. I don't want to live in a state of death. Maybe it's cause I was brought up Catholic and some things never leave, but James hit it on the nose. Sin (especially this kind of sin) begins in our minds and I know why. Like I said previously, in order to procreate, we have to have desire for sex. God's plan is that we have it monogamously. It is so good that way. It took me forever to figure out that every woman wasn't just for me. Lust isn't love, m'dear....it's just gettin the horny out.
Pray, pray, pray. It isn't possible to have two thoughts at once. Keep your mind on Christ. That may sound boring, but sounds to me like you have a pretty good relationship with Him. Spend a little more time with Him and you'll find yourself really satisfied with life. I promise. It actually doesn't sound boring at all. God is my second...well, I wouldn't call Him a lust, but certainly an obsession. The problem is, He shouldn't be my second Got to try to put Him first; I guess when we sin, we put ourselves first and our Father second.
One day, you'll meet the guy who takes your heart and then .....lust all you want ....after him. Sound Good? Sounds amazing. *can't wait* Haha. Ahh, it'll be like...10 years or so though. Sigh.
Answer:
God is a good obsession. Wish that I was obsessed with Him when I was younger. Anyway, we share the same obsession there.
As far as waiting ten years or so, that seems like a long time, but ai-chihauhau....it will go by so fast. Enjoy where you are Right now. God is so going to bless you and you don't even know how yet.
If you can't get a handle on this, talk to someone you know....really well....and who won't think you're strange. Trust me, everyone struggles with this one. Everyone! If they say they don't, look in their back for the batteries, cause they're robots.
One of the big problems in our society is that it is so doggone easy to access bad stuff. I believe that's due to some our favorite enemy's handiwork. But you gotta understand that the same tools that can be used for bad can be used for good. .....and vise-versa.
Lookit....your dealing with a tough issue right now on the same tool that enabled you to sin last night. God is using this tool to bring you closer to Him. A lot of your friends from school probably think you're strange because you have this love affair with God. So what?
They just haven't matured as much as you.
Chin up ol' girl...... as Bogey said to Katherine Hepburn in African Queen
You will defeat this issue in due time. But it is a battle.Don't lay your weapons down.
Answer:
I will pray for you. I am also going to give some advice, even though this isn't the advice forum.
First, I want to commend you for owning your problem. Nobody assumed that you were without sin in the first place *smile*.
Okay - what are the basic steps to getting past any addition?
1. Prayer. This sounds easy, but I have had several people on this site PM me and say "Mrs. M, I don't really know how to pray - it's hard for me!". If you need help with this, please say so.
2. Talk. You really need an accountability partner - someone whom you can talk to who will be supportive of you. A woman who is a bit older than you and is a Christian is probably your best choice.
3. Replacement activities. Decide ahead of time what you are going to do the next time you feel compelled to go to these sites. Whether it's playing music, running, calling a friend on the phone, whatever - just know ahead of time so that you don't have to decide when you are at a weak point.
Okay, having said all that, you might want to consider putting some filters on the computer yourself. Take away as much temptation as you can.
Decide today that you are not going to go to any of these sites for one week. Then, next week, decide that you aren't going to do it for another week. Sometimes it helps if you can break it down a bit.
Answer:
Originally Posted by whitemtnarmy God is a good obsession. Wish that I was obsessed with Him when I was younger. Anyway, we share the same obsession there.
As far as waiting ten years or so, that seems like a long time, but ai-chihauhau....it will go by so fast. Enjoy where you are Right now. God is so going to bless you and you don't even know how yet.
If you can't get a handle on this, talk to someone you know....really well....and who won't think you're strange. Trust me, everyone struggles with this one. Everyone! If they say they don't, look in their back for the batteries, cause they're robots.
One of the big problems in our society is that it is so doggone easy to access bad stuff. I believe that's due to some our favorite enemy's handiwork. But you gotta understand that the same tools that can be used for bad can be used for good. .....and vise-versa.
Lookit....your dealing with a tough issue right now on the same tool that enabled you to sin last night. God is using this tool to bring you closer to Him. A lot of your friends from school probably think you're strange because you have this love affair with God. So what?
They just haven't matured as much as you.
Chin up ol' girl...... as Bogey said to Katherine Hepburn in African Queen
You will defeat this issue in due time. But it is a battle.Don't lay your weapons down. Alright, thanks for the encouragement. You made me smile; real big. A lot of my friends from school do think I'm strange, or think other religious members of their family are strange. My friend, Lauren, was talking today about how religious her aunt was, and about how her aunt just chats with God out loud. Lauren says that she'll start responding to her aunt sometimes, and she'll be like "Oh, I'm not talking to you", and she thinks that's weird. And I thought it was nifty. But that's just me
By the way, what does "ai-chihauhau...." mean? Hehe.
Originally Posted by MtlMom I will pray for you. I am also going to give some advice, even though this isn't the advice forum. I appreciate your advice. I was sort of looking for advice, actually, even though I didn't explicitly say so. So thank you for taking the initiative
First, I want to commend you for owning your problem. Nobody assumed that you were without sin in the first place *smile*.
Okay - what are the basic steps to getting past any addition?
1. Prayer. This sounds easy, but I have had several people on this site PM me and say "Mrs. M, I don't really know how to pray - it's hard for me!". If you need help with this, please say so. You know what, I've always been curious: how do you pray? I've wanted to ask questions about this, but everytime I move my cursor to the Theology or Advice forum I think "eh...". Is it just supposed to be a chat with God, I suppose? And the second question I had is, how do you pray for other people? How many prayer requests should you take on at once? I suppose you don't want to take on so many that you can't pray for the people you said you'd pray for--that'd be bad.
2. Talk. You really need an accountability partner - someone whom you can talk to who will be supportive of you. A woman who is a bit older than you and is a Christian is probably your best choice. I don't actually know anybody like this, unfortunately. I'm still getting to know the people in my church, and the only older people in the church that I see are men. I do not want to talk to my mom about this, for obvious reasons I'd think.
3. Replacement activities. Decide ahead of time what you are going to do the next time you feel compelled to go to these sites. Whether it's playing music, running, calling a friend on the phone, whatever - just know ahead of time so that you don't have to decide when you are at a weak point. Hmm, ok...next time, I shall practice my madrigals music. I've got this awesome new German carol to learn (Es Ist Ein' Rose Entsprungen).
Okay, having said all that, you might want to consider putting some filters on the computer yourself. Take away as much temptation as you can. Good idea...*goes to Lavasoft*
Decide today that you are not going to go to any of these sites for one week. Then, next week, decide that you aren't going to do it for another week. Sometimes it helps if you can break it down a bit.
Alright, thanks. I really appreciate the time you took to write this up; I'm going to try my hardest to follow this advice. And thank you for the prayer. *nod*
Answer:
Hey there....Mtlmom speaks wisdom. Although since I work with addicts, I would suggest that rather than attempting to hold back for a week, set a shorter goal. (you know, one day at a time) When you set a goal and then don't reach it, too many times I have seen people trash their entire program. Set achievable goals and then celebrate each achievement. (One hour, one day, one week) Don't celebrate it by returning to your addiction though. (that happens) But celebrate it by raising your hands to God and shouting out to Him, "Thank You Lord" He will give you the courage and wisdom to conquer all things the enemy throws at you.
Ai-chihauhau is an expression that a lady I knew used to say.....all the time. She was from Chihauhau Mexico and I don't think she was talking about the Taco Bell dog. Who knows though? I lived with her and her family for a year and a half after God took everything from me to draw me nearer to Him. (He does that sometimes) It worked out well.
So what is B.R.U.N.O.HQ ???? I've been doing a lot of searching and all I could come up with is, "Big regional umbrella under northern Ontario Headquarters" Was I right?
Answer:
Jesus gave us some wonderful instructions on how to pray. He told him to pray like this:
Matthew 6:
9"This, then, is how you should pray:
" 'Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
10your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
11Give us today our daily bread.
12Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.[a]'
That doesn't mean we should just recite the Lord's Prayer over and over again, but look at the different things that He says we should be praying about. I like using the letters P-R-A-Y when I talk to people about prayer:
P= praise. Start your prayer off by giving Him praise
R= repent. Talk to God about your sin and ask Him to help you fight the temptation to do wrong
A= anything for anybody else. Put others before yourself, and remember them in prayer
Y= yourself. It isn't selfish to ask God for things that you need!
As far as how many people you should be praying for at any given time, I suppose that's a personal decision. I have a little book that I keep right here next to the computer where I write down who I'm praying for and why. That way I don't forget. That's just what works for me.
I'm sure other people can give some great advice regarding prayer as well!
Answer:
k jen, i have a bad addiction too. So your not alone, i'll pray for you.
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Originally Posted by jengoesup I would hope that none of you on this forum see me in a different light; that would make me very sad.
Hey Jen.
I want you to know I don't think less of you at all. If anyone here does, they need to take a long, hard, honest look at themselves.
I would say everyone is addicted to sin. Sure we might be addicted to different sins, but we all are sinners. I know I sure am.
I would suggest to try and not focus on the sin. Dwelling on a sin and wallowing in regret only gives power to the sin all over again. I believe the best way to fight any sin or temptation is to put more time and effort into seeking God first. Be more proactive. I know from personal experience that's much easier said than done. I struggle with it constantly. I believe this is the answer though. Take comfort in knowing that God loves you even when you're at your worst. He doesn't require you to be perfect to receive His love. Otherwise, we'd all be burning in Hell right now.