Anselm's Prayer Request(s)

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Question:
I'm really feeling weird lately. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it's depression... or just a serious lack of faith... I really don't have time to explain it all right now, but I'm hit pretty hard. Here are a few things that are putting a lot of pressure on me right now:

I'm leaving in a few hours to take about a twelve hour road trip up to Cedar Campus in Michigan. Please pray that we would arrive safely and on time without any complications.
I'm transferring to a new college in the fall, moving into a new apartment, and leaving behind the InterVarsity chapter of which I was the president for the past year. It's a lot of change all at once.
I feel like I've done nothing but fail for the past... I don't know how long. Failure in leadership in the chapter, failure in studies, failure in spiritual growth, failure in general relationships...
For no good reason, I just want it all to end. I'm tempted to just let everything go. I want to die.

Yeah... I think that's probably enough for right now. Anyway, I'll be at this camp for a week. Please pray that God would refresh and restore me during this time.
Oh... I'm also seeing someone, and I just feel wrong about it... or at least I think it's about the relationship... I don't know for sure.
Answer:
I'll be praying for you! I know how tough it can be.
Answer:
Okay, so... I'm a little better from how I was here. I'm not interested in dying anymore, at least. Still not feeling up to snuff. Just "broke up" (complicated-- I'll explain later for those who are interested) with my girlfriend of seven months.
Please pray for my faith and my studies, Biblical and otherwise.
Answer:
Oh, and I should say, God has been faithful, but, as has been typical of my faithlessness of late, I have a hard time really attributing it to Him.
Again, I need faith. So does Amy. Please pray for her, too, as this is way harder for her than for me, but we both agreed we needed some time apart.
Answer:
Maybe a little Scripture is in order...
In Zechariah chapter 4, an angel comes and shakes and wakes Zechariah to give him a new direction.
Please know that I am no Bible scholar, but this section of scripture has helped me so much! Maybe it will help you too.
1: And the angel that talked with me came again, and waked me, as a man that is wakened out of his sleep,
These days, we would say that he needed a wake up call.
2: And said unto me, What seest thou? And I said, I have looked, and behold a candlestick all [of] gold, with a bowl upon the top of it, and his seven lamps thereon, and seven pipes to the seven lamps, which [are] upon the top thereof:
3: And two olive trees by it, one upon the right [side] of the bowl, and the other upon the left [side] thereof
4: So I answered and spake to the angel that talked with me, saying, What [are] these, my lord?
5: Then the angel that talked with me answered and said unto me, Knowest thou not what these be? And I said, No, my lord.
I love this.
"Don't you know what all this stuff is?"
"No."
6: Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This [is] the word of the LORD unto Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts.
This is the thing! We try to accomplish so much work for God with our own power and might. We sweat and strain to accomplish all of our goals in life.
This verse tells us that God will do the hard things if we just allow Him to work through us.
I see churches do this a lot. They will bust their tails to accomplish something, but then have to continue busting their tails to maintain it. It is the work of men, not the work of God.
7: Who [art] thou, O great mountain? before Zerubbabel [thou shalt become] a plain: and he shall bring forth the headstone [thereof with] shoutings, [crying], Grace, grace unto it.
To accomplish God's work there must be power greater than us.
That power is sufficient to raise the people up over obstacles (mountains) and discouragement that comes from a small work
When the work is done by God's power, there are resources to finish the work, as well as to begin it
And it is finished with God being glorified, with shouts of grace, grace to it!
Am I making any sense at all???
The bottom line is this:
If you are struggling in your faith, then you are probably doing alot of work that God would be more than happy to do if you would just rely upon Him.
If you are failing at the works that you are attempting (academically, extra-curricular, and socially) then maybe it is because you did it all yourself, rather than asking the God that created you what He thought about it.
Be led by the Spirit. It is a VERY easy way to live.
Answer:
I started studying the prophets this morning. I only read through the first chapter of Isaiah so far, but I'm looking forward to further study.
Answer:
Really good commentary (you don't even have to READ it... it's spoken).
http://www.blueletterbible.org/tmp_d...0782-8958.html
(you might have to copy & paste to get the link to work)
Answer:
Yeah... definitely need faith. Very despairing thoughts this past hour. I've considered dropping out of InterVarsity altogether. I am somehow disinterested with the church. Please pray for me.
Answer:
Things got better, then got worse, then got better. Amy and I are back together, and much better. Still have many concerns, but I'm feeling much better right now, although I still have papers and such hanging over my head.
Please pray for the junior high youth group retreat I'm going on this weekend.
Answer:
Things continue to have an ostensibly mediocre character. Papers remain to be written. Bible studies remain to be prepared. Still, Amy remains an amazing instrument of God's grace in my life in many ways. God has been teaching me a few things. Let me share one of them with you briefly.
I was encouraged by my pastor to lead a Bible study my senior year of high school, and I somewhat presumptuously did so, setting myself up as the authority on just about everything. (Predictable, especially with a male teenager-- and Calvinist to boot.) I was influential in many people's lives, but, in retrospect, I wonder for whom I was influencing. Was it for the Lord, or for myself? In the case of my dear friend Sam, it seems to be the latter.
Sam was a very special friend of mine, and, to make a long story short, I played matchmaker to avoid getting involved with her myself. It seems as though I was a very poor matchmaker, however, and, if the conversations (or, more appropriately, the humanly speaking inviolable lack thereof) we have had of late are any indication, these two dear friends of mine have since separated. I have been tempted (if it is indeed temptation as I suspect) many times to continue to try to contact her, but of late, I believe that the Father has convicted me in the person of His Spirit that my motives for doing so are no better than before. At best, my desire to speak with her and console her continues to flow from a lack of understanding of God's own love and care for her and for my friend David. At worst, it is a sick and twisted way of trying to have every girl I know romantically interested in me.
Anyway, my point in sharing this is that I have been learning to spend time in prayer in regards to this issue rather than trying to minister to them directly. I wanted to submit this course of action as perhaps a more effective method of mediating disputes in some cases. I have heard and seen a bit for myself that there has been a bit of an uproar over the recent prank banning of Gavin. Apparently, some aggravated the situation a bit by presuming to mediate the dispute. Perhaps their motives were pure, but I'm glad that I wasn't one of those trying to play moderator. If it had been me, it would have almost certainly come out of a desire to take the position of the wiser, superior, more mature Christian among those who have a reputation of being wise, upstanding, and mature. Sadly, this post itself, I believe, is in part born of this same idolatry. Nevertheless, I post it here because it is less likely to be seen by all, and to those who see it, give me no notification. If you agree with me, it is sufficient that you put this truth into practice rather than stroke my ego. If you disagree, I'm aware that there are some cases where someone must mediate, but if you have some other objection, PM me.
Otherwise, I continue to appreciate your prayers for my studies.
Answer:
Well, God proved faithful despite my unfaithfulness again. Last semester turned out well enough. I got three B's and two A's, which is below my capability, but not my current capacity. I mean, I'm just booking myself so much, and I'm such a slacker that I can't possibly keep up with everything. It's really rather foolish.
Anyway, life continues, and Amy and I will have our one-year anniversary (dating) this Thursday. I'm planning on getting her some roses and giving them to her in a rather unorthodox manner, but don't tell her.
Answer:
Originally Posted by ChaletPol I'm really feeling weird lately. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it's depression... or just a serious lack of faith... I really don't have time to explain it all right now, but I'm hit pretty hard. Here are a few things that are putting a lot of pressure on me right now:

I'm leaving in a few hours to take about a twelve hour road trip up to Cedar Campus in Michigan. Please pray that we would arrive safely and on time without any complications.
I'm transferring to a new college in the fall, moving into a new apartment, and leaving behind the InterVarsity chapter of which I was the president for the past year. It's a lot of change all at once.
I feel like I've done nothing but fail for the past... I don't know how long. Failure in leadership in the chapter, failure in studies, failure in spiritual growth, failure in general relationships...
For no good reason, I just want it all to end. I'm tempted to just let everything go. I want to die.