Question:
I'm in a jam. I need help getting out because it's one of the toughest decisions I'm ever going to make (or at least the toughest I've ever made so far). I have to get rid of one of my friendships. Actually, two.
Actually, I've already given it up in my mind, but it's living up to it.
A lot of what I'm going to share may seem kind of crazy and out there to some of you, but this is all very heavily true in every aspect. If you don't feel like reading this all, it helps to think of it as a soap opera. I know I've talked about a lot of this before on here, but I'm talking about it again so the story will make sens.e
During the fall, I was great friends with a guy that I'll call Joe. I've only known him about a year and a half now. I had an enormous connection with him. Somehow I got around to trusting him. Part of it is that he presented himself as being quite spiritual. He claimed to be able to know what people were struggling with (he knew one of mine, but it was kind of a no-brainer). I've also been having weird dreams, and I told him about them. He said that he was sure they meant something. I wanted to test this spiritual gifting of his, so I asked him to try and guess a detail of my dream that he should not have been able to guess without me giving some kind of hint. He guessed two characters in the dream; two dirty blondes with overrun mascara. I felt such a chill at that moment, a chill I only get when it comes to spiritual things. Something happened in that room that night, something spiritual. It's unmistakeable with me. It's a feeling I get when it comes to horror scenarios or occultic matters. I opened a page in a book and found a picture of a pentagram, the feeling shot through me. I haven't made a habit of trying to feel this feeling, but it started happening. I was telling one of my friends (I'll call her Ella) about how Harry Potter had really originated; same thing. She felt my hands; they were very cold. The room was lukewarm, and my hands were cold. I pass some of the occultic theme books in the library, it's there. A sense of fear overtakes me at night, it's there. The only time I don't feel it is when I'm actively resisting the feeling. Though, just before I got on here, I could feel a demon in my room. I could sense some kind of evil. I feel it because I'm feeling so intimidated because so many things I'm about to explain are being set in motion. satan does not want to happen what needs to happen, and needs to happen soon. It wasn't just the occult though; I've found the spirit to be present in hardcore pornography (I've never been into hardcore pornography, but I've seen the shot of the piece of porn that was stuck into the Disney film "The Rescuers," and I honestly had to cast a demon out of my house because seeing it brought me into something like a depression). I didn't really get suspicious with Joe because things would only start to get uncomfortably eerie after that. But anyways, I started to trust him and started seeing him as a new best friend. I told him about so much. I confided so much in him. He always acted like the more mature one, the one who seemed to have a good grip (which seemed odd, considering that he was heavily into bands like Korn, Metallica, Ozzy Osbourne, and a lot of things spritiually unfit in nature, even bands like Dimmu Borgir or whatever). Things didn't add up, though I kinda pushed it aside. "Hey, I'm open-minded, so I'll just give it a chance." Though, I learned that 2+2 NEVER equals 5. I'll explain that in a moment.
There's my other friend, whom I shall call Kirk. He is my primary concern right now. I have been friends with him about 6 years now. The last three have been horrific since he decided to get into some bands that he shouldn't even have touched. It was barely even a friendship. More or less, it has been an argument with spontaneous moments of friendship (the same ones Joe was into, in summary). He started turning spiritually rotten and just changed as a person completely. He's not who he once was. That sounds chiche-ish, but it's very true. There's been bad blood between us, but there's been attempts to reconcile the friendship (that was pretty much MY job). If there's something going wrong, I'm supposedly the one making a mistake somewhere. Not true. My trust for Kirk began to diminish, and I started talking to Joe a lot more. He confronts me and tries to lay a guilt trip on me about it. He made a reference to how I used to confide in him (concerning girls, which, ironic at the moment, is what I had been confiding in Elijah...). He really deteriorated, and is what the bible would call "bad company," as in "bad company corrupts good character."
Finally, Ella (who is Kirk's girlfriend) had a breakthrough. She revealed that Joe had been betraying everything I've been telling him to Kirk (Ella is Kirk's girlfriend), and they've been mocking me behind my back. First chance I got, I broke up my friendship with Joe, though I didn't with Kirk for some reason. How it happened was that Ella broke up with him (she got back together with him less than a week later), and she told him that I knew what was going on. So he called and tried to apologize (I didn't confront him at first because I wanted to protect Ella...long story). So that was my chance to confront Joe. I called him, and I was absolutely furious. I yelled and seriously had the upper hand on him on this. He squeamed and squirmed like a worm on a hook, trying his best to lie his way out. At the end of the conversation, I said, "You have my forgiveness, but I no longer consider you my friend." He had a going away party because he was moving to Arizone, and I went to just wish him the best of luck, but our friendship ended up reconciling. That was a mistake.
So now he's in Arizona. He'll probably be back for a time around the summer. I don't know how he's really doing or if he's changed at all. Kirk though, I spent 5 months trying to figure him out. He claimed that God had been convicting him about some things when he called me to "apologize," and that period of backstabbing was one of them, but he hadn't changed the least bit since that. So I kept him at an arm's distance for a very long time. He tried to put up a front, I just tore it right down (and it was followed up by the kiss-up action). Finally he pulled me over one time and said that I was right about Metallica. We talked a bit, and I thought maybe he was about to change. No, not really. He was still in a lot of the same things. Ella was still as miserable as ever (Kirk doesn't treat her well at all). Though, I agreed to give him a second chance.
Then last night, I went over to a friend's house, and his mom is a prophet (I'll call her Jen). Me, my mom and some friends were by the fire, and when it came to where it was just me, Jen and my mom, the subject of Kirk came up. Jen had told me that this friendship needed to go, though I wasn't sure how to take it just yet. I brought up his name, and she could see this bondage around me, a chain called guilt. She asked me why I was continuing to be friends with him. She pinpointed so much about me and Kirk in this conversation, and she was dead-on with everything. For me, she knew that I was being too much of a mercy with him, that I was allowing him to walk on me, and she said that this "friendship" would only serve to be a distraction.
And she knew Kirk very well. Jen says that Kirk has something about him that he can manipulate people. He can, too. He's done it with Ella countless times, he's tried it with me, and he can just command everyone's attention if he so wanted. Well, anyone who will put up with him. Like I said, if you stump him at his game, he acts remorseful (and at times I can tell it's just an act. He can act, but he's not perfect at it). She also knows what's going on because Ella is always so miserable. She puts up with way too much with Kirk. I've seen and heard him push her around (I actually heard him yelling at her over the phone (this was about two months after they started going out), about how she wasn't spending enough time with him (and he thought I was asleep when he did this)). Jen has actually done a deliverance on Ella once because she was coming under serious conviction about her relationship with him, and that was when she broke up with him (she got back together with him with pressure from Kirk's family or something like that). She'll do anything Kirk tells her to and pretty much gets dragged around by him like a gazelle carcass in a lion's mouth.
Sounds very obvious what I should do, doesn't it? Kirk also knows how to play Christian though. Whenever he doesn't feel like things are cool between us and I've got the obvious leg up on the situation, he treats me really well. He may crack a kind of mean joke, but acts like I matter in his life. I know I don't though, because I turn around and watch how he treats everyone else: badly. I've seen him yell at Ella, vent to no end, try to manipulate and pressure others. Jen told me that the week he didn't show up for praise and worship practice (we practice two days; Monday, and Wednesday before service) on Monday, and he blew a gasket taht they didn't let him play on Wednesday. Well, he originally dropped out for that service because he was going to see if he could go to a different youth group and see if he likes it better because "Everyone's judging me, I don't get enough respect, the youth pastor's anti-rock (not true in the least), he doesn't respect me, I've got almost no friends here." Well hey, you know a person by how they act behind closed doors. I'll end all that right there, although there is more.
Though, like Jen said, guilt and too much mercy has left me in a perfect spot to get trampled. I have a hard time saying no to people. I got stuck doing my paper route for four more days after I quit because the manager didn't have a sub ready for that time. Mercy is a gifting, yes, but like any other gifting, there are potential weaknesses associated with it. In this instance, giving more second chances than what could be good for specifically you. So yes, there's a spiritual bond that has to be broken, and I need to do it by severing my friendship with Kirk. That sounds really bad, but it's not even a friendship anymore. I know who he is, but I've been so scared of being wrong that I haven't come out and said, "I don't believe you're who you say you are. When you get your life straightened out for real (he's acted like he's gone under conviction several times about his lifestyle, but he's always gone back like a dog thirsty for its own vomit).
Jen was also able to tell that I have a very strong soul tie with Joe, much like Jen has with my mom (there's is very strong, although there's is a good one). She was right; I did. I confided so terribly much in Joe that I'm ashamed to say it. Ugh, it was so bad. I asked her if she ever felt there was something occultic about Joe. I explained to her the incident with him guessing the dream, and she said (indirectly) that his power was not from God. Because I opened a chance for him to guess it, he did. satan took a hold of that. If I had used the covering of the blood to prevent him from doing so, there's no way he would have though. So that answers a lot of questions. I know he's not a Christian now. I know that because you cannot serve two masters. You will either hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. If his power wasn't from--and considering that he does have this power--there's only one other place it could have came from...--and it says a lot about him. This would explain why he couldn't sense anything wrong with bands like Dimmu Borgir, which is heavily anti-Christian, and Ella could. They went to the website, found out they were occultic. Joe could tell me my dream and claimed to have been in the occult before becoming a Christian, but he couldn't smell this in the least. Why would he?
A lof of that sounds crazy, but I very much trust Jen. I've seen her deliver friends and cast demons and other things out of their lives. She can pray and praise like no one's business. She knows the truth, too. No one who's living in rebellion in the youth group likes her; no one. A few of the kids there, it's not unbelievable that they may be in the occult, but at the least they're deep into rebellion.
So what I need prayer over is severing these two bonds. Joe seems a bit easier than Kirk because with Joe I'd have to do it online or something, but Kirk I have to do it in person. Everything Jen discussed with me is just so true, and she's only reconfirmed things that have been sitting in the back of my mind for such a long time, things I knew I needed to do but never did. I was scared of being wrong. I can't be friends with Kirk. He's too manipulative. I have a chance coming to really grow in the Lord, and I so seriously want to. I want to just really sprout out, but Kirk is only going to be a distraction. I'll just get sucked into a bunch of drama that will just kill me. I went to his open house today. I thought for sure I had delivered myself from this soul tie, but I went there and still felt intimidated and shaken, hoping for some kind of approval. I can't have this. These two friendships are nothing but a bondage, a sentencing on death row. It has to go. They have to go.
There's so much spiritual warfare going on right now I can just about smell it. Issues are trying to come back that I had just gotten over, such as this fear thing going on at night where I feel like some spirit's crawling about my house. I got on the computer because I can't sleep because I'm just feeling the pressure. Comments, concerns, anything, would just be stupendously helpful. If this story sounds really strange and everything, I don't blame you for thinking so because I know I've said a lot of things that are quite assumptious, and some of the spiritual things I've brought up might sound awkward, but it is as bad as it sounds. The thing wiht Joe is still setting in my mind, but I know that what he has is NOT from God, and there's only one other place it could come from. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I want to get rid of these two people from my life. I don't ever want to deal with this again. I want to be my own person. I want to have true, loyal, good friends. I don't want to be tied down by burdensome "friendships." I just really want to take back every piece of life that was stolen from me in all of this. I've been robbed. I want to know that I'm more than what I've been made to feel like by Kirk, Joe and the devil. I've got to do it, and I've got to do it soon. I have to be brave. I have to be strong. I can't let myself walk around feeling like everyone else is a full foot taller than me. I'm an 18 year old male but I feel like an insecure little girl. That's not right. I just so seriously need freedom from these bondages. I need deliverance.
Thank you for reading all this. I just really want to talk about this with someone. I'm not doing this on AIM because I'm on my laptop and I'm not going to risk getting anything on here that I don't want.

Answer:
I'll be praying for you man..
Answer:
All I have to say is to be particularly careful with what you attribute to the devil and what you [fail to] attribute to human nature.
Maybe this isn't something so exalted as spiritual warfare between demonized friends and prophetesses. Maybe it's just people.
I think all you really need is to look at the situation with human eyes, see that these people aren't true friends, and move on.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Nate All I have to say is to be particularly careful with what you attribute to the devil and what you [fail to] attribute to human nature.

Maybe this isn't something so exalted as spiritual warfare between demonized friends and prophetesses. Maybe it's just people.

I think all you really need is to look at the situation with human eyes, see that these people aren't true friends, and move on.
I do agree with you, it is a lot to do with human nature, I don't mean for it to sound like the devil's making everything happen. Though, there has definitely been a lot of confirmation that there's something deeper going on. Jen obviously feels it, I can feel it, and these two guys hang around exactly the wrong people (I don't know if I mentioned them or not, but they hang around people who are heavily gothic, I've never seen them in a color besides black). Even Ella, when I talked to her today, felt that there's some kind of spiritual warfare going on, though she hasn't really come to grips with her relationship with Kirk. Yes, human nature definitely is involved, I guess I didn't say a whole lot to include that aspect of their character, but there are definitely things going on.

If you want to know a bit about the human nature side though, Kirk simply is rebellious now. He's been rebellious against the church and against his family, but above all against God. He knows deep down he's wrong, and he's known it for a long time, though he's not going to admit it. As for Joe, I've never seen him act the way Kirk does, I only saw his dark side when I found out about the backstabbing (and about how long it was probably going on... roughly shortly after I told him about a girl I liked, some real paydirt to Kirk...another long story). Other than that, he seemed like a perfectly nice guy who's just a little disagreeable with your typical conservative Christian. Other than that, I really know nothing more about Joe. That's why I've at least never talked about Joe's human nature.

You're right too, I should just realize that they're not true friends and move on. Thank you.
Answer:
praying for healing.
-In Prayer-