Question:
Hey,
Ok, long story short.... my mom committed suicide last week, and it is rough, really rough on my family and me. And I've been planing on going on a Youth missions trip this summer, but my Youth Pastor doesn't want me to go anymore because he doesn't think that i'm haveing a "healthy or good grieving process" That hurts really bad. it's like he's punishing me for my mother's death. The missions project was # 1 on my priority list and is really important to me, and I'd go in major depression if that is taken away from me. The missions team is all I have left. And if anything, my mom's death made missions all that more important to me, cuz now I've really realized how precious life is and how little time there is, and I don't want to waste a minute of life. I want to do my part to further God's Kingdom. And yeah, I might have a heavy burden right now, but that shouldn't take away my chance at working in the missions feild. I can cast my burdens upon Jesus, and he'll bear the load, I have faith in that, but it almost seems like my Youth pastor doesn't have faith that God can use me for His Good. And for some reason, my best friend hasn't been here for me, and that hurts a lot. I mean, I always thought that he was gonna be there for me whenever I had a problem, and I really need him, but he hasn't said a word to me since my mom died. I understand that he probably doesn't know what to say, but I just need him, you know... I just need to know that he's there for me. I feel really lonely. I kinda feel like the people who matter most to me are out to get me, like my youth pastor, and it really does hurt that my BEST FRIEND isn't here when I really need him. Could everyone please pray for healing in my heart and my family and that we can feel God working in our lives. Pray that we can forgive my mom for leaving us. Pray that my Youth Pastor will be more understanding of me instead of telling me how I am supposed to feel. Please pray for the missions team and for our success this summer and pray that i get to stay on the team. And please pray that my best friend will come back to me, cuz i really need him and he is the only person that I truly trust... or i used to trust him... I'm a little mad right now, but please pray that i forgive him and that he'll talk to me soon. I need prayer in a thousand ways, and i need help...
Love always,
Samantha Mae Fenner
aka: JesusFreakGirl
Answer:
praying.
i'm so sorry for your loss.
i hope your youth pastor changes his mind.
everyone grieves in their own way.
this shouldn't affect the missions trip.
Answer:
Praying, and I hope things get better. I hope your youth pastor and your best friend will understand your situation a bit better. I pray you find the strength and comfort that you need, and that your heart heals.
God bless,
~Jen
Answer:
Samantha, I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray that God will ease your pain and bring healing, and that His will be done in regard to the missions trip. Do you have a support group that you are involved in?
Answer:
im praying for you samantha
Answer:
hey, THANK YOU soooo much for praying!! I really need it! And, no, I don't have a support group.... But some of the teens in my Uth group @ church have really been there for me. I haven't really talked too much, but in time, i'll feel ready to talk about all of it. It just really hurts you know, that my own pastor and best friend haven't been there for me, when they are the two people you'd automatically think would be there. I'm not a happy camper. I really really appreciate the prayer. I may not always understand why life is the way it is, but I'll always understand that prayer works wonders and it really helps us all to survive.
Answer:
I will be parying for you! Was your mom a christian? Do you know why she did this? I just want a little more info is all, but if you dont want to tell its fine! I know how you feel on the best friend part! I dont really have a best friend anymore since my best friends parents died and he moved away in the 2nd grade! Im now in the 10th grade so yeah! Its hard!
Like I said, I will be praying!
Answer:
samantha,
reach out to your friend. he may not know the right words or he may be overwhelmed by the situation so you may just need to let him know that he can't fix everything, and you don't want him to. you just want him to be there with you, even in silence, to feel the warmth of someone who truly cares.
i'm so sorry for your loss. open your heart to your youth pastor to let him know that your missionary work is part of your healing process, not counter to it.
i'm praying for you that both of these things work out, and for you as you deal with the loss of your mom. my heart goes out to you.
tony.
Answer:
Thanks for the prayer!!
Yes, my mom was a christian... or so everyone always believed. To be honest, it is hard for me to believe that a christian would take their own life. My mom had FMS and was in a lot of pain, then she just lost hope and poof... now she's gone.
Yeah, I'll be sure to reach out to my friend. It's just a little hard to do that sometimes... but i really miss him, especially in the times like this that I need him, but I'll see him at church on sunday, so i'll try to talk to him then, or else call him or e-mail him in the next couple of days.
I know that i really need to talk to my youth pastor, I just don't quite know what to say to him to convince him that I'd be good on the missions team, and that the missions trip will be good for me. He just likes to jump to conclusions and stuff, so it is hard to talk to him sometimes.
I still need prayer, and I'll be needing it all my life. Everyone needs it everyday, and I really appreciate everyone here @ CGR who takes the time to pray for me personally. Thank you sooooooo much!! Knowing that people are praying for me really gives me hope and strength to carry on and walk in the ways of Christ.
Love always,
Samantha Mae Fenner
aka: JesusFreakGirl
Answer:
You'll be in my prayers.
-In Prayer-