Question:
I first got saved when I was 13 and played guitar and was really involved in the youth group, but when I was in the 9th grade I made at stupid mistake and gave into peer pressure and smoked pot one time and I felt so bad and down because of what I did. So I turned to the people in my church who seemed to want to help me "through whatever it was I was dealing with" as they said....but the only thing they did was tell everyone in the church and spread rumors about me, after that everytime I went to church they were all looking at me as if I was the worst person in the world. I grew up in that church and loved everyone in that church and it hurt me so bad that they would do that and judge me.
After that I quit going to church all together....I was so depressed for almost two years after that.....in my 10th grade year one of my friends died in a 4-wheeler accident so that just fueled to my depression.....I felt like my whole world was crashing down on me....my parents and I didn't get along at all, they were worried b/c of my depression and all we ever did was yell at each other.....
One day I went to school and had a girl who I had never talked to before and I really didn't know who she was came up to me put her finger in my face and told me that she was going to shoot me....after all the school shootings that had been going on around the U.S. I was really scared....watching my back....basically everyday I was afraid to go anywhere and I was depressed, I felt so angry, confused, and like the entire world had turned it's back on me and no one cared....I also felt like God hated me.
I didn't know what to do or where to turn after all that....I felt so empty inside...I was searching for anything that could dull the pain and make me happy...I turned to drugs and alcohol. At first it was just ever once in a while, when I was really stress and couldn't deal with everything, then before I knew it I was addicted. Everyday my one and only goal was to get drunk and high. I didn't care about anyone or anything. After a year or so of that it started to not help the pain and feeling I had and at times it seemed to make it worst....but I couldn't stop so I started to do more....
About a year or so ago my cousin started going to this youth group and he asked me to come and meet the new youth pastor. So I finally went and met him so my cousin would stop bothering me about it. But the last thing I wanted was to go through what I went through at the other church....but I started going to the services with my cousin and after getting to know the youth pastor, I talked to him about what I was dealing with and how I didn't know if I really believed in God....it was really hard for me to talk to him because I thought that what happen before was going to happen again....but he really amazed me because he listened and really cared about what I was saying....and after that he would always check on me and call to see if I was ok....it really amazed me that he did that.
I took me almost a year after that to wake up and realize that the only thing I need is God and that he really loves me no matter how much I've messed up in the past. On Oct. 19, 2004 I got saved... I still struggle with temptation and sometimes I feel like there's no way I can make it through the day....but I know that I can't do it but God can and all I have to do is rely on Him and He will bring me through no matter what.
Answer:
That's AMAZING! And for the church you previously went to, dont they remember the story of Jesus and the aldulterer? Well, anyway, the past is gone and it seems as though God has used it for the better! I will pray that you will continue to walk in the faith and to look to Jesus in everything!
Answer:
I just want to encourage you: it'll be hard (and it is); it'll be tiresome (and it is); but He'll be there for you (and He is)
At the same time, just so you know, reading your post encouraged me. I guess I've been doubting a lot of things lately and I'd be lying if I said I haven't been doubting God. You've encouraged me to quit it
Psalm 121
Answer:
Thanks for encouraging me guys It's been kind of rough but I'm detemined to not let anything get in the way of me living my life for God. I spent to many of the years of my life 'seraching' for something to fill the emptiness I felt inside. Deep down in my heart I knew that only God could fill the emptiness, but I was running from that b/c I didn't want to accept it. But thank God, He never gave up on me and He knew what it would take to wake me up and make me realize that I couldn't run from Him..and that I needed to run to Him.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Chel I first got saved when I was 13 and played guitar and was really involved in the youth group, but when I was in the 9th grade I made at stupid mistake and gave into peer pressure and smoked pot one time and I felt so bad and down because of what I did. So I turned to the people in my church who seemed to want to help me "through whatever it was I was dealing with" as they said....but the only thing they did was tell everyone in the church and spread rumors about me, after that everytime I went to church they were all looking at me as if I was the worst person in the world. I grew up in that church and loved everyone in that church and it hurt me so bad that they would do that and judge me.
And I'll warn you: Christians have the tendency to do that again in your life. I hate to say it, but its personally something that's alienated me from other Christians in relation to my girlfriend... to make a long story short, we were simply HOLDING HANDS in public, when one of the girls in the youth group saw us, telling her mom who lectured Maryann because it "offended" her. Yup. And after that, the youth group started saying that they had heard I had "slept over" at her house...which honestly? Had happened... but I was sleeping in the other room, perfectly in line with her parents (her dad's a deacon). So from that point on Maryann and I have been the "outcasts" ... who knows how many rumors came from that. Now I'm out of youthgroup (graduated HS) and so is she...and we're very happy to be.
Just when I thought it was all over, the lady (we'll call her Mrs. B.) yelled at Maryann in front of everyone in the foyer for "ignoring her"... erghh.
Anyway, my main point is: don't let Christians get in the way of Christ in your life. He's there... they're not. Maybe I was wrong for letting it alienate me for a while and get to me as much, what I should've done was gone to Him (God) about it. Oh well.
On a lighter note: I see you like Day of Fire. My girlfriend saw them a few months ago. Without me. Bum.
Answer:
thats awesome!
Answer:
thanks...all credit goes to God...there's no way I could make it with out Him.