Question:
I have always held the view the if a person were to divorce that he/she is to remain single or be reconciled to one's partner (1 Cor. 7:11). Also, remarriage is only permissible without sin for a believing widow or widower as long as the marriage is with another believer (1 Cor. 7:39; 2 Cor. 6:14-18).
I have fairly strong convictions on this area as stated above. However, I know that there are other conservative Christians who have a differing (more liberal) view on divorce and remarriage. I would like to explore some of these arguments because I am not as familiar with them as I would like to be. So, this thread is designed to discuss the reasons which people view that remarriage after divorce are ok. I am not so much looking for individuals to post their convictions (though that would be helpful) but I am looking more for reasons WHY some feel it is biblically ok to remarry after a divorce (pending the ex-spouse is still living).
Looking forward to the discussion!
Answer:
I can tell you the main reason I am always given.....
Matthew 19:9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."
Mark 10:11-12 11 And he said to them, Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.
Luke 16:18 Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.
From this passage it is argued that the Matthew account says that as long as the divorce was for sexual immorality then the husband can remarry. If it is for any other reason he would be committing adultery. However, the second part states that if a man marries a woman who is divorced (no qualification given here as to why she is divorced), he commits adultery.
Since this isn't clearly stated but, perhaps alluded to, I think it wise to read through scripture to see what God thinks of divorce and how to take this one passage. We know He hates divorce, we know we are told not to seperate what God has joined, that we are to forgive those who sin against us, etc. I don't find this one verse a sufficient support to say remarriage is acceptable with all the other scripture that points to reconciliation and forgiveness.
I, personally, do not believe one has the right to remarry unless the reason was an unbelieving spouse left.
Answer:
So what happens when an unbelieving wife divorces her husband despite all his efforts to reconcile? Speaking from experience here, I have found that most people who have not been divorced do not understand the gravity of the hurt and the situation. Being a Christian and having been divorced, it has often seemed like I've never been forgiven of this one.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Hopeful So what happens when an unbelieving wife divorces her husband despite all his efforts to reconcile? Speaking from experience here, I have found that most people who have not been divorced do not understand the gravity of the hurt and the situation. Being a Christian and having been divorced, it has often seemed like I've never been forgiven of this one.
Since I am divorced myself, I very much understand the gravity of the hurt and the situation. Not a day goes by that it doesn't hurt. If your wife divorced you because she is an unbeliever, then you are free to remarry. As far as I can see, this is the only case in which remarriage is allowed.
Answer:
Originally Posted by Hopeful So what happens when an unbelieving wife divorces her husband despite all his efforts to reconcile? Speaking from experience here, I have found that most people who have not been divorced do not understand the gravity of the hurt and the situation. Being a Christian and having been divorced, it has often seemed like I've never been forgiven of this one.
Oh, I am so sorry for the hurt and pain you've experienced. I know that this is a very sensitive subject that has many layers and layers of hurt associated with some people (I know too, my Christian parents divorced). Divorce sucks and God hates it. And I do empathize with those you have been divorced and I don't mean to minimize the severity of the matter by discussing this.
With that said, if to divorce and then remarry is wrong in God's eyes, then we must look at it that way. My dad in an alcoholic (one of the reasons for their divorce). If my dad were to say to me, "Son you don't know how hard it is to be an alcoholic and you don't understand the struggle." I would have to agree with him because I don't fully understand. However, the hurt and struggle of his addiction doesn't justify him still getting drunk. It simple means that his struggle with this is hard and difficult...but it is still sin non-the-less.
I guess what I am saying is that the struggle we face to fight sin and follow God's designs for our lives does not justify compromising the integrity we must have in trying to follow God's Word. We cannot water down Scripture to justify our struggles. And I am not implying that anyone on here is in this camp, I just know MANY Christians who compromise God's clear teachings because it is too difficult to follow -- and in some cases don't we all do this?
Anyway, back to the discussion. I still want to better understand a clear biblical argument for divorce and remarriage, as I don't see it in Scripture and I truly want to better understand the position -- to either strengthen my position or expose my presuppositions.
Enjoying the discussion.
Answer:
Originally Posted by KFBobInsanesMom If your wife divorced you because she is an unbeliever, then you are free to remarry. As far as I can see, this is the only case in which remarriage is allowed.
Again, I am so sorry for your pain and struggle! May God use the ugliness of your divorce to help create a better reflection of Him in you...
Your statement, which I am not too sure if I agree/disagree raised a question. Is God's design for marriage only for believers? Or is it universal?
Answer:
Originally Posted by BIGFATJAM I have always held the view the if a person were to divorce that he/she is to remain single or be reconciled to one's partner (1 Cor. 7:11). Also, remarriage is only permissible without sin for a believing widow or widower as long as the marriage is with another believer (1 Cor. 7:39; 2 Cor. 6:14-18). The assumption is always that if you have a legitimate divorce, remarriage is possible. Without the possibility of remarriage, legitimacy of divorce is meaningless because you remain bound to the person.
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Eh? But didn't Jesus recognize that the woman at the well had been through four or so husbands?
Answer:
Originally Posted by H.M. Murdock Eh? But didn't Jesus recognize that the woman at the well had been through four or so husbands?
What are you implying then?
Answer:
Originally Posted by H.M. Murdock Eh? But didn't Jesus recognize that the woman at the well had been through four or so husbands? I would venture to say that she was unfaithful with her husbands.
Answer:
Let's go back to the beginning shall we?
Deuteronomy 24
1When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.

2And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.
3And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife;
4Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.
Divorce was granted (because of the hardness of their hearts) for ANY reason. But here in Matthew some more clarification is given. I beleive the word except here is important.
Matthew 19:9
9And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
I find is quite odd and saddening that not much emphasis is placed on the following verses which give a whole list of 7 things that God hates while divorce is constantly stressed. These things listed bellow tear down whole churches and many other institutions. No where in scripture does it say that it's OK to lie or any other other things listed bellow:

Proverbs 6:16 - 19
These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
17A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
18An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
19A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
As a devorce myself I've had the difficult exprerience of presure being placed on me to 'work' on your marriage and I've also been treated as something spoiled or dirty because of my decision. People can't even talk to me, it feels as though I've commited addultry too. (I've not remarried nor do I plan to do so any time soon. I'm not even datting.) Forgiveness is important. It is also important for the 'guilty' one to make necessary changes. If that is not done reconciliation will not work. Hosea put it nicely when he bought his wife from prostitution and set the conditions down.

Hosea 4
3And I said unto her, Thou shalt abide for me many days; thou shalt not play the harlot, and thou shalt not be for another man: so will I also be for thee.
If these things can't be done, staying married for whatever reason will not profit the couple.
Each sittuation needs to be carfully examined and delt with. A general rule can't be put to every sittuation.
Answer:
Ok, let me tell you a story..
I have been married a total of 3 times. So maybe in this case I am a repeat sinner... but also not a sinner in this situation.
My first wife and I were married 3 years. We had one child together, she had cheated on me 4 times, on the Third time she actually got pregnant from the man she had cheated on me with. I was more that willing to accept this child as my own, But within 6 months of the childs birth, she was off again with another man. We divorced.
My Second marriage which only lasted about 5 months, I was hearing rumors that my wife had been cheating on me. I of course did not want to besieve this, I thougth we had it all together. We had both been married once before and were now going to try and bring our two families together to make one solid unit. Well I started to get the "feelings" that something was going on and so I went to see.. Well, that wife told me that I didnt trust her. She told me I should go and live with my Mom, and she was going to go live with her Ex-boyfriend until we could "work" things out.. Hmmm. Well that told me right there that things would never "work" out.
My present wife and I have been married 6 years. Together we have a large family with 6 Kids. It has not always been easy, but when we do have problems we "work" them out togther. I pray for my family every day. I do not think that God has condemned us for what we have done. I believe he is the reason that we are together and still going strong.
This whole thing may not help you, but It is my situation.. and maybe that will help.