Question:
As some of you already know, I am having a difficult time in my church, and it has gotten worse. I am almost to the point of not even wanting to attend anymore. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!!
For those of you who don't know, I am having a big problem with the way I and others at our church are treated. Here is what happened today,
I got a call from the secretary of our church, (Who is also my Pastor's daughter) wanting to know if I was going to give anything towards the Pastor and First Lady's Christmas gift. (A paper had been passed out in church letting us know that it was a secret, who to give the money to, and what time it had to be turned in a few weeks earlier.) At the time the note was passed out my husband and I were having a hard time and decided that we weren't going to give since we had bought them a gift already. I told her that we had been having a hard time, but if she would want to put me down for 20.00 that was fine. She went on to tell me that she thought it was so rediculous that only 4 people had given in the whole church which is roughly 60 people. She said that she was going to call everyone and see if they wanted to give, and if not she was just going to have to take it out of the churches funds.
Not that this makes a bit of difference, but I live in the 2nd poorest county in Ohio. None of the people at our church have any extra $$. But the Pastors wife is one of the few that has a great job, and has no problem getting anything and everything that they want, and going on vacations 4 times a year. I am sure this is one reason I am resentful about giving.
I do my fair share, as do most in the church. I give 10% gross income out of mine and my husbands checks, plus and offering. I am not telling this bragaticiously, but just to give you a better understanding.
That was just an example of some of the stuff that goes on.
The pastor has 2 daughters that are 'in church'. They both seem to have the biggest problem with me. They are all the time 'checking me out' I feel uncomfortable to even go to church anymore. I am almost what I would say scared and parinoid. Everytime I turn around I am getting in trouble for this or that, that they say I do, in which case if I do something wrong there is no forgieness, and it is getting very old. I think they want to think I am jealous of them, but I am civil to them always. If I am jealous in any way, it is that they are able to get away with anything, and there is a big double standard---THAT I HATE! It has gotten to the point that I have no freedom in the house if God. I know that I am unsatisfied that God is judge and that he will take care of everything, and I need prayer.
There is quite a bit of legalism in the church as well. Last week we were asked what we thought about people wearing flip flops to church. Most said they didn't care, but the Pastor said that his opinion was that we were to dress our very best for church, and that he thought we should not wear flip flops. I don't understand this at all. What did Jesus wear? I think alot of people would like to ask him that but wouldn't. I just believe that the church should preach what is in the Bible and and not add or take away. Don't get me wrong, people should wear nice things, and shower of course, but it doesn't have to be suit and tie all the time.
Stuff like this goes on daily, there is just such a double standard. Mostly because half of the church is Pastor's family. The Pastor's familie's babies' are allowed to scream and cry and the others people whose children are acting up are told to go to the nursery immediately. If things don't change I am going to have to change churches. I hate to have to do this because I have been going to this church for 9 years, but I have to do what is better for me spiritually. I think about this constantly, and I am always envisioning going to the Pastor about my problems, but it is hard, because although he is Pastor, that is his family.
If any of you hava advice, or questions, (I have written this while I am still inraged) please feel free to leave a note...
P.S. Isn't it a conflict of interest to have most of your family on the senior staff.
Please forgive me for rambling.
Answer:
If you assessed the situation honestly in your post, than your pastor is completely unfit for leadership according to the Biblical mandates for leaders, and you need to either remove him from leadership, or you need to find another church.
Preferably a church that doesn't have one-man leadership.
Answer:
I'll be praying.
-In Prayer-